The Fatty I Love

I don’t understand why these Indonesian people loves giving bad nickname for people that they love. Of course the meaning is not bad when you’re giving nicknames to each other because you love this person, but what the hell…?

Today I read the Facebook status of my friend’s wife. She said, “I am so lucky to have Si Gendut.”

Once again. What the hell? Gendut means Fat, Man!

I just realize that not only her, but I think most girls kept giving names like that to people that they care about. When I was toddler, one of my aunt also called me with this kind of nicknames. When I was with si Onyed, she called me with “Chubby”, which means… fat. I didn’t do better, I should admit. Sometimes, I called her with “Bodoh” which means “stupid”.

Why insulting someone else’s physical appearance could be a love expression?

Does that mean that you call him/her with that way, shows you that you love him/her more? Does it mean that if you destroy someone else’s self confidence shows that you care about him/her more? Are you trying to say that “oh, even if you’re fat i love you still”? Are you trying to knock down his/her spirit so you can came up with this heroic “I’ll save you Dear” action?

I just realized that I hate that expression.

In the other side of the world, when you like someone, you’d give a better designation. You showed the affection with the good things that you feel. You’re either gonna call her/him: sweet heart, sweet pie, love, honey, hunny bunny… or worse, “baby”. But not “fat” or “chubby”, or maybe “stupid”.

I know that in Indonesia, giving sweet name to the person you love would sound so stupid. Sometimes cheesy. Or… almost all the time unnecessary. But how hard is it to NOT calling something that would build up a bad self concept in someone’s mind? Is this Asian kind of thing? No wonder many Indonesians are engaged with obsessive diet and become so defensive about jokes, their self confident are ruined by people that they care about.

Anyways…

I was just wondering. Nevermind.

 

Cheers ~

The Non-Negotiables

Okay… I might have some problems with girl talk. I might not be able to react the way they want me to react but, fortunately somehow I can find some girl who actually girl talk with less fluctuating emotion. Still… the topic is so girly, I can even find some very girly topic like dating sites from her…

And one day, while talking about a guy who might get interested in her, she told me why she doesn’t like him. It’s something that non-negotiable for her like the attitude, the non-gentleman treatment he gave, the mindset… I think it’s almost everything that’s not physical in him is not pleasing her. And she asked me what’s my non-negotiable…

Although I answered it with a laughter, it actually made me think. Maybe it’s not about finding a perfect partner, because relationship is out of question for now. But I think it is more about what kind of people I want it my life. Being far from people that I’ve known for a long time, starting a lot of new contacts made me reformulate the idea of what kind of people I actually want to connect with.

If before, I have already attached with some people because of the friendship we have already built for years, this is the time to start new things. In which I don’t have to deal with things I don’t like. Things that non-negotiable. I don’t have to be burdened with the attachment and the social responsibility to maintain a relationship just for the sake of maintaining it.

So I made a list of 5 top things that for me is non-negotiable in no particular order:

1. Humor

Denise suggested this to me because I said to her that I lost patience to my flat supervisor because he answered my humorous e-mail with a very plain reply. I also can’t take people who can’t take joke as a joke and those who don’t know how to throw a good joke and try to hard by quoting dry jokes from the forwarded messages and e-mail.

It is important for me to be able to laugh at things no matter how bad it is. Dry joke only worsen my day, and it would automatically bring the bitch out of me.

2. Brain/Knowledge

Of course I need brain! I am a zombie! Well… I don’t know where’s the idea the brain eating zombie came from, but I think that’s rubbish! But yeah… I do need brain.

I like to talk. From this blog, you might have noticed I like to talk about lots of things and it’s important for me to have someone who can keep up with my random topics. It’s not easy though… But brain could make you go further in the relationship with me. Sure.

3. Appreciation for Education

I am okay with self learner. I appreciate and somehow in awe with people with the ability to learn everything by themselves. I appreciate their ability to pick things up from what they see or heard, but it doesn’t mean they have to be a jerk.

I hate people asking us (who’re pursuing our degree) with questions like: why do you have to work so hard for your degree, it won’t make you rich. Or why do you have to study so hard it won’t be used in our daily life? And mocking the education.

Damn, dude! I know that education system in our country might be a mess right now. But that’s why I want to study hard. To change things, not just being a skeptic jerk like y’all. So… this is a non-negotiable for me.

4. Faithfulness

Of course. After a long talk about commitment you should have known that this kind of trait would make it into the big five, right? I have problems with people who cheat. I don’t have to repeat the whole post about commitment and the fine line between cheating and non cheating here.

And it’s not always about you partaking in this situation, but also how you see this concept of faithfulness. If you see this thing is unimportant, I should say that it won’t work…

5. Emotional stability

I hate people who whine, self pitying (throwing pity party invitation to everyone they meet), self blaming for bad things that happened around them (and the world) and those who can pick a fight on the road while stuck at a traffic jam. Seriously.

I know I can be moody and bitchy, thus I don’t need the same creature which would just make me worse. Come on! I don’t need someone who’s constantly happy, it makes me neurotic as well, but I don’t need people dragging me to their depression area. Emotional stability is crucial for me, so it’s a non negotiable.

LOL. Of course there are some others non-negotiable, but hey… I only have five slots for the big five, right?

The First Snow

How do you celebrate your first snow?

Some would go outside. Some would take a picture of them. Some, like me, stay in the room, shivered, and sneezed non stop. That’s the flu.

It’s getting more and more freezing here. And it’s been few days snowing outside. Not a heavy snowfall, but still it was snowing. Even in one morning it left some traces on the street which I should admit… pretty.

But the problem I have is, the flu.

You don’t need to know me long enough to know how easy I fall sick. Even the only thing I asked AK to bring here when she’s coming next week is a pack of Tolak Angin. Yes… Tolak angin.

I don’t know how am I going to survive this winter.

Yes, I was exaggerating.

Okay… Now let me just start over with this entry, Okay?

The snow fell several times lately. It was beautiful but it’s so cold outside I couldn’t go and buy some food. Fortunately there are some times when the sun shining brightly and it wasn’t too cold so I can get out for a while.

The cold weather actually makes you want to eat more, that’s what Denise said. I just worried it’s going to make me fat. I’ve never been skinny myself, so it’s so easy for me to get fat in this winter time. I hope I can control myself and limiting snacks. Spending so much time in your room makes you want to snack more. Bad idea.

The problem is, after the essay, I still have Tribalwars to do. Which, quoting to one of a player I met there: “Chain you on your computer” and “eat you and your social life away”. How dangerous. No one actually said anything about making you a snack addict, because a game addict is bad enough (probably).

I tried to have a little bit of social life on the kitchen. Some of the girls have already left, giving me a little bit hope of a better life. Seriously, I am so happy that for the next three weeks, I can co-own the kitchen with Shan. Of course I can count Celia in as well, but she’s not cooking as much as we do!

What am I going to do this winter break? I am not sure…

Windy told me that the research proposal for the PhD scholarship should be submitted in the end of January. And she just told me last week! I might want to spend the winter break writing a proposal… And it might be the right time to contact Ike, and ask how the hell am I going to write a PhD research proposal… Ike if you read this… please… say something >_<

Oh… I think the snow is falling again…

Dear Byq…

I was in the middle of having an email-chat with Denise when suddenly she said that I talk like a self-help columnist in a woman magazine. Oh dear… I was talking about making my own self help book before, wasn’t I? So, I just told her that perhaps I need to write in a column in a magazine for real then…

She said something about writing in a column is better than blogging but I wasn’t offended. Just assume that she didn’t know how the blogsphere could influence so many thing in this world (and how a blogger can be so popular…). Anyways…

Denise came out with the idea that people can write to me and asking me a problem solving for their life complication if I write on a magazine. Of course, I argued that I would still be able to have a “Dear Byq” section in this blog. Right?

I literally burst into laughter when I said that.

Why?

Well… I might sometimes came with a good idea, or brilliant idea… or sometimes super genius (yes I am a narcissist). But it doesn’t mean I know everything (a very modest narcissist). I might be able to answer a thing or two about life, especially if it’s related to my experiences. I might be able to answer a thing or two about communication problems (because it is what I am studying). I might be able to give a perspective about a relationship problem (not my expertise though). But still… it doesn’t mean I am a walking encyclopedia, or a shrink… (Hey! If you’re a in a really deep mental problem or depression, you might need a real shrink instead of reading this, you know?)

And most of the time, I could be in a really bad mood I become a real bitch to everyone. I can make a happy person sad, and a sad person depressed. I can even make a depressed person suicidal. But of course, I can make someone who need a punch in the face and a hardcore wake up call awake and realize the real life they’re facing here. Some people came back to me after I bitched them to thank me for opening their eyes. Some just go and never come back, I just hope they didn’t commit suicide.

So,

As much as I want to be a busybody, I don’t want to make the impression that I am a problem solver. I am not perfect. Almost. But no, I am not…

I won’t start giving up my e-mail address though. If I want to make a Dear Byq real, I still have to think about it better :D

 

Cheers ~

The Inactives

I think it’s been so long since the last time I post something about Tribal Wars. I am quite surprise that there are some people that came here because of the the TW post I made before, and more surprisingly they actually were trying to find out how to know whether a player is active or not.

Apparently, player’s activity might be a very crucial point in this game. If you’re not active for a few days it’s guaranteed that you would lose your village, a.k.a getting nobled. That’s why some really serious and strict tribe leaders kick their inactive members or just label them as “farm” so their tribe mates can just pick any resources from that particular member.

There are at least three ways that I know how to detect inactive players.

1. The easiest way to check whether your neighbor is active or not is by sending him a mail.

You see, when you send him a mail, you can check whether he open it or not. With an assumption, if he’s active and online, he’ll check his mail and even if he doesn’t reply you’d still be able to know whether he’s checking his village or not.

However, this is a little bit tricky because some more experienced player might detect your move and use this trick to get back to you.

2. Tribalwarsmap.com

I got this link from my TW Tutor in W17. I was a noob and I was told that this is one of the best tools you can use in getting your way in TW. First, you can use it to have a bigger map and you can calculate attack time using the map. Most of all, you can detect inactive villages around you using this map.

Yeah! It’s more effective. The downside is you have to keep checking because it’s not real time. It’s refreshed once in a while.

3. Be a tribe leader

There’s a privilege, of course, for being a leader on your tribe. You will be able to see whether your members are active or not. We called the inactive. The red dot.

Yellow dot is a warning. Red means you’re a farm or kicked.

If you’re never a tribe leader, you might never know this, but since I was… Well, I am not bragging myself. I need to learn more because I think there are lots of new features in this game now.

Anyways…

You can always detect inactive players from the pace of the progress. The too-slow progressed player usually not active enough, or just don’t know how to play this game. Either way, you can always kill this kind of player. Even if you’re focusing on troops the too-slow is too slow!

Well, if you’re a TW player, good luck. If you’re in w60, we might see each other there…