Dissertation!

May 25, 2012

One thing that I learned from my thesis writing experience is that writing about the same thing and revise over and over again for more than three months is boring. The only way to make the writing process less torturing is by choosing a topic that you like. Something that you are willing to spend the rest of your life talking about it. For me, the more personal the subject, the more interesting the topic would be.

For my thesis I wrote about my hometown, Solo. I analysed its Cultural Marketing process which was so close and personal for me. I witnessed the progress of my hometown, and had a first hand experience of whatever happened there. No matter how boring the process of writing the theoretical framework, no matter how slow the revising progress, talking about something that you can relate to is so much easier than talking about something that is still alien for you.

I might not get the best score for my thesis. I don’t want to blame y supervisor because I should have known better about my topic, and shouldn’t have given in to his opinion. I know that if I was being persistent I might have been able to get better score. No regrets, though. I think I’ve done my best.

Therefore, for my dissertation I wanted to write about something that close to my culture, and something that I love to do.

My initial idea was to analyse the usage of internet meme, such as those we can easily found in 9gag. But, after several supervising, the idea was getting more focused on one interesting meme, about Asian parenting. Tiger Mom.

The terminology “Tiger Mother” was popularised by a Chinese American mother, Amy Chua. She wrote a book titled ‘Battle Hymn of The Tiger Mother’, which describe the Chinese American parenting style, in a satirical way. However, many readers couldn’t get the idea of self parody that Chua claimed in many of her interviews, and the strict Asian parenting style became a media blow up.

One funny thing that I found from the research was that in China, this kind of parenting style is something normal. I believe many Asian kids also found that this is not something that need to be blown up. The attitude towards this ‘Tiger Mother’ thingies has changed after the blow up.

This topic is personal for me, because I am a product of a ‘Tiger Mother’ parenting style myself. I remember the nights when my mother sat on the dining table with me practicing math. She refused to believe that I suck at math. And she held up this beliefs until I graduated High School and still suck at it.

The reason why I chose this topic in particular, is not as a silent protest to my mother’s parenting style. It is as simple as how I can relate to this topic and it is interesting to talk about a culture that I know so well. It is personal. And I will take it very personally.

 

Kitchen Goddess You Said?

February 8, 2012

I am inspired by Soe’s post about woman and cooking. Basically she was questioning the society’s expectation for women to be able to cook. As if, cooking skill is a requirement for a good partner and good parent. Some comments on her blog post weren’t really pleasing, and she said that the particular blog was linked to one of the biggest community forum in Indonesia. Since she didn’t give me the link, I tried to browse myself, and instead of finding what I wanted, I was directed to the thread talking about whether a girl should be able to cook.

Most of the respondents said that they want their partner to be able to cook. Most of them believe that cooking is a natural gift for females, and girls who claimed themselves can’t cook are either lazy and spoiled or feminists who against nature. Only few believes that cook or not cook is personal choices, but these opinions were undoubtedly bashed. Most of the respondents also said that they would only marry a girl who cook. And of course as the closure they condemn girls who don’t cook (and again using the same reason: spoiled or against nature).

Don’t get me wrong. I love cooking.

I started to learn cooking more seriously (but not professionally) since I got here, so it’s been months already. I love cooking more than I love eating, which is a little bit weird in my opinion. I cook when I’m feeling low, or depressed. It is fun, it distracts me from the negative emotions I felt, and actually it would be so much better if someone that I care about eat it and appreciate it. It would just double the joy. I love cooking, and I know that it’s not everybody. While I enjoy every second of it; washing, preparing, cutting, mixing, tasting, smelling… for Celia, it was pain in the bottom. And I can totally understand that.

In addition to that, it seems that cooking gave me the popularity in facebook. I mean, after I posted some of my cooking creation, people started to comments and they actually… hm… Back to what Soe proposed earlier on her blog, somehow in Indonesia, men like girls who cook. I constantly get these “marriage proposals” from guys and, “you will be a really good wife/mother” from girls. It’s good basically…

However, as much I enjoy cooking, I hate what comes with it. I hate washing up dishes. I hate it because it makes my hand and nails dry. I hate touching the oily plates with my fingers, and I hate scrubbing the pan. I hate when the water sprayed my face because of the stupid spoon. And, what I hate more, those boys who proposed to marry me because they want me to cook for them never, even once, offered their help to wash the dishes. What a selfish bastard!

See?

I am not going to discuss this from the feminist point of view, let it be Soe’s job. I love cooking, I wouldn’t mind cooking for anybody. In fact, I occasionally invited friends to my flat just for lunch or dinner, and I will cook the whole things. So I don’t have any problem with that. But, if offering to wash the dishes in return didn’t even cross your mind, how can you expect me to be happy cooking for you all the time? Who’s gonna wash those fuken dishes? Unless you buy me that bloody dishwasher, or hire me someone to scrub those pans…

Or just simply a nice gesture and wash those for me.

So, just a suggestion guys… You expected a girl to cook for you? What would you give in return? *wink*

 

You’re A… What?!

January 28, 2012

Yesterday, one of a friend told me about his personality. He gave me a link to Wikipedia something about him being a Healer. Kind of weird. I was thinking of some fantasy character that have this power to regenerate or even revive someone from death. Anyway, after the talk he asked me to get the test as well.

After the result I got… INTJ.

I was like… wait a minute, he got a healer, and I got this nonsense code? After a while I realized that there are more than 1 description about the result. So INTJ is also called the Mastermind.

Woot woot! Mastermind! It sounds cool :p

All Rationals are good at planning operations, but Masterminds are head and shoulders above all the rest in contingency planning. Complex operations involve many steps or stages, one following another in a necessary progression, and Masterminds are naturally able to grasp how each one leads to the next, and to prepare alternatives for difficulties that are likely to arise any step of the way. Trying to anticipate every contingency, Masterminds never set off on their current project without a Plan A firmly in mind, but they are always prepared to switch to Plan B or C or D if need be.

Masterminds are rare, comprising no more than one to two percent of the population, and they are rarely encountered outside their office, factory, school, or laboratory. Although they are highly capable leaders, Masterminds are not at all eager to take command, preferring to stay in the background until others demonstrate their inability to lead. Once they take charge, however, they are thoroughgoing pragmatists. Masterminds are certain that efficiency is indispensable in a well-run organization, and if they encounter inefficiency — any waste of human and material resources — they are quick to realign operations and reassign personnel. Masterminds do not feel bound by established rules and procedures, and traditional authority does not impress them, nor do slogans or catchwords. Only ideas that make sense to them are adopted; those that don’t, aren’t, no matter who thought of them. Remember, their aim is always maximum efficiency.

In their careers, Masterminds usually rise to positions of responsibility, for they work long and hard and are dedicated in their pursuit of goals, sparing neither their own time and effort nor that of their colleagues and employees. Problem-solving is highly stimulating to Masterminds, who love responding to tangled systems that require careful sorting out. Ordinarily, they verbalize the positive and avoid comments of a negative nature; they are more interested in moving an organization forward than dwelling on mistakes of the past.

Masterminds tend to be much more definite and self-confident than other Rationals, having usually developed a very strong will. Decisions come easily to them; in fact, they can hardly rest until they have things settled and decided. But before they decide anything, they must do the research. Masterminds are highly theoretical, but they insist on looking at all available data before they embrace an idea, and they are suspicious of any statement that is based on shoddy research, or that is not checked against reality.

http://keirsey.com/4temps/mastermind.aspx

Or…

To outsiders, INTJs may appear to project an aura of “definiteness”, of self-confidence. This self-confidence, sometimes mistaken for simple arrogance by the less decisive, is actually of a very specific rather than a general nature; its source lies in the specialized knowledge systems that most INTJs start building at an early age. When it comes to their own areas of expertise — and INTJs can have several — they will be able to tell you almost immediately whether or not they can help you, and if so, how. INTJs know what they know, and perhaps still more importantly, they know what they don’t know.

INTJs are perfectionists, with a seemingly endless capacity for improving upon anything that takes their interest. What prevents them from becoming chronically bogged down in this pursuit of perfection is the pragmatism so characteristic of the type: INTJs apply (often ruthlessly) the criterion “Does it work?” to everything from their own research efforts to the prevailing social norms. This in turn produces an unusual independence of mind, freeing the INTJ from the constraints of authority, convention, or sentiment for its own sake.

INTJs are known as the “Systems Builders” of the types, perhaps in part because they possess the unusual trait combination of imagination and reliability. Whatever system an INTJ happens to be working on is for them the equivalent of a moral cause to an INFJ; both perfectionism and disregard for authority may come into play, as INTJs can be unsparing of both themselves and the others on the project. Anyone considered to be “slacking,” including superiors, will lose their respect — and will generally be made aware of this; INTJs have also been known to take it upon themselves to implement critical decisions without consulting their supervisors or co-workers. On the other hand, they do tend to be scrupulous and even-handed about recognizing the individual contributions that have gone into a project, and have a gift for seizing opportunities which others might not even notice.

In the broadest terms, what INTJs “do” tends to be what they “know”. Typical INTJ career choices are in the sciences and engineering, but they can be found wherever a combination of intellect and incisiveness are required (e.g., law, some areas of academia). INTJs can rise to management positions when they are willing to invest time in marketing their abilities as well as enhancing them, and (whether for the sake of ambition or the desire for privacy) many also find it useful to learn to simulate some degree of surface conformism in order to mask their inherent unconventionality.

Personal relationships, particularly romantic ones, can be the INTJ’s Achilles heel. While they are capable of caring deeply for others (usually a select few), and are willing to spend a great deal of time and effort on a relationship, the knowledge and self-confidence that make them so successful in other areas can suddenly abandon or mislead them in interpersonal situations.

This happens in part because many INTJs do not readily grasp the social rituals; for instance, they tend to have little patience and less understanding of such things as small talk and flirtation (which most types consider half the fun of a relationship). To complicate matters, INTJs are usually extremely private people, and can often be naturally impassive as well, which makes them easy to misread and misunderstand. Perhaps the most fundamental problem, however, is that INTJs really want people to make sense. :-) This sometimes results in a peculiar naivete’, paralleling that of many Fs — only instead of expecting inexhaustible affection and empathy from a romantic relationship, the INTJ will expect inexhaustible reasonability and directness.

Probably the strongest INTJ assets in the interpersonal area are their intuitive abilities and their willingness to “work at” a relationship. Although as Ts they do not always have the kind of natural empathy that many Fs do, the Intuitive function can often act as a good substitute by synthesizing the probable meanings behind such things as tone of voice, turn of phrase, and facial expression. This ability can then be honed and directed by consistent, repeated efforts to understand and support those they care about, and those relationships which ultimately do become established with an INTJ tend to be characterized by their robustness, stability, and good communications.

http://typelogic.com/intj.html

However what excite me the most is who actually shared the same personality type with me:

Gandalf the Grey (J. R. R. Tolkein’s Middle Earth books)
Hannibal Lecter (Silence of the Lambs)
Professor Moriarty, Sherlock Holmes’ nemesis

http://typelogic.com/intj.html

 

Wait… I am a WHAT??

So You’re Friendzoned?

January 21, 2012

Well, just because I don’t have anything to tell you about my life, doesn’t mean I don’t have anything at all, right? (I am so sorry for the double negation, I will try not use too many of it :D ) So, I might just tell you my friend’s story.

Anyway, since she didn’t say that I need to keep this as a secret I will feel free to spread this story. LOL. Don’t worry, I will keep the names anonymous to avoid lawsuit.

Let’s say this guy likes my friend. Well, it was pretty obvious from the first time I met him. I don’t understand how his background shaped his personality, but he always tried to convince everybody that he never interested to my friend, and always said that they’re only friends. Well… Looks like he wanted to friendzone my friend. Of course my friend liked it!

Come on… a guy offered himself to be in the friendzone? What kind of sorcery was that?

It doesn’t last long though… The friendship became awkward, and the conversation led to serious talks. However just like the movie, my friend missed the first sign of bad news, so it became bad. Or, I should say… really bad.

The guy decided not to talk to her. Totally ignore her. Be very cold to her. Which for me is very funny and at the same time, childish. Why? Sulking because the girl that you like doesn’t want to go to the next step? Sulking because you don’t get what you want? Feeling angry, dejected, and decided to take the drastic decision to cut off the relationship is not a good way to get away from your friendzone, dude…

Just because Barney Stinson made a theory about friendzone, and there are some testimonies from some guys that it worked, it doesn’t mean that it works all the time. You know? Maybe there are more who tried and fail and never mentioned it because it sounds too desperate taking advice from a character from a sitcom.

From what I saw, many guys who cut off relationship after being friendzoned, gave the assurance the girls needed, that they’d better be friends forever.

One of my friend told me, “I am not afraid being friendzoned. In fact, look at me, if I never got into the friend zone there’s no chance a girl would know my true self, my true personality. She might not see it in the beginning, but for me friend zone is the way I get into her zone to begin with.”

I believe that many won’t agree with this. Most guys won’t, I think. I am not encouraging people to remain silent being in a friendzone of a love one. DO something! Take risk! We girls like those with confidence and pride, not those who sulk and run from the battle before it even begun. You guys always said that girls with confident are sexy, let me tell you: we also think the same about you.

So… You got friendzoned?

The World Isn’t Fair, Deal With It

January 2, 2012

I totally get it now. Why Mr. Atheist hates virgins.

It’s not the virginity that scares people away, it’s the virgin head they have. The virgin brain with virgin attitude they possess…

The way they think the world is perfect, and even though it’s imperfect you can always turn it around into perfection. The impossible demand of the fairness; where good people get good stuffs and the bad ones got punished… The plain naive expectation which completely contradict the reality.

In the end. It stresses them out. It makes them angry with the world. Makes them feel cheated… which is funny because in the beginning the world never promise them anything. These virgin heads are full of assumptions.

It annoys me as well.

“I can’t believe it happens to me. I am so angry things just don’t change and get better,” they said to me…

In my head, of course – because they have told me for the million times how bitchy I could be – I replied (yeah with bitchiness), “I can’t believe that after more than a quarter of century you haven’t learned anything…”

The world is not fair. It never promised you the fairness. It never said that if you do good, you’ll get good thing in return. It’s what the stupid books told you so you are motivated to do good things, which for me is quite logical if you do good because… it’s good to be done. And, if you do good things just because you want something in return, it’s no more than bull crap.

The world is not fair. Shit happens. The virgin idealism these girls have in mind just sounds silly. And, I can’t say it out loud because one of them have protested to me before that the way I told them things makes them feel like I was looking down at them. They probably right… Probably not. But, yeah… I might not put any respects on this kind of attitude.

I heard these girls complained about how life being so unfair to them. How they tried so hard and nothing came as the result of their hard work. And if I asked them whether their method was effective or not, they would say either “I don’t care anymore, I gave up” or “yeah… but”.

Now, I can totally understand why Mr Atheist said that these girls are scary. They’re scarily unrealistic. They can say they’re logical, realistic, and open minded. They can say whatever they want to say according to what they believed in their head, but… They never actually understand how it is to live the reality. How real the reality is. And even though they live it, they think it would change eventually.

Hundreds people was born poor. Decades of hardworking, they died poor. That’s reality. That sucks. And complaining about how unfair it was won’t change anything. It would just make your life even more miserable (plus you made the life of people around you as miserable, when you nagging and whining). The world is not fair… If fair means you’re always getting what you want.

If you can’t change reality, change your point of view. I told them many times, but they told me I don’t understand because I don’t live their life.

They thought my life was easy. *giggle*

Happy New Year, my dear… I can wish you a great year… But I guarantee it won’t be any closer to a great year if you still think that perfection exists.