The Heat Is Killing Me

May 28, 2012

Who am I complaining about the heat? It is summer and everybody is excited on how they would spend their day under the sun. I don’t mind. But I melted under this weather >_<

Coming from the country where the sun shines all year round, shouldn’t I get used to the heat? No I am not. Of course not. Where I lived almost every houses are air conditioned. The cars are air conditioned. The malls are mother fuckingly air conditioned, and you can experience autumn inside that goddamn mall. So, have you ever heard me complaining about the cold here? Nope. I am complaining about the heat.

But Summer is coming, and anyone who started to make a “500 days of summer” joke on me would taste a bit of Mel’s Punch, how does that sound? Sound like PMS, I guess.

Anyways, the heat is killing me. Not only it made me tired all the time, it made my PMS worse. Of course at the more positive point of view, it is fun because I can wear clothes that I’d love to wear, which means no more big jacket, thick coat and scarves. But WTF the sweating isn’t fun! The make up can’t stick long enough, and it feels sticky even after you take shower.

But…

Summer reminds me of the beach. >_< and how fun it was when I went to the beach. Even if I browsed for picture for “summer” it came back with a lot of beaches picture.

Hell… I don’t know how long summer will last. Maybe if I had time I would go to the beach again. Instead of complaining about the possibility of getting a heat stroke, I might just enjoy everything that I can get in summer before the fall come again.

Sundress, Sunglasses, Strappy sandals, Strawberry daiquiri, Sea, Sand, Sun, Solo travelling, Sex. Summer.

BYQ’S 2012 RESOLUTION

January 1, 2012

I think I would carry on making New Year Resolutions every year as a part of my personal tradition. It’s not only fun, it also gave me target to achieve. After all, believe it or not, after I made resolutions like those, I think I got better and better each year. So, why not?

So, these are things I am gonna do this year:

1. I seriously need to control my weight gain. It’s not funny anymore. I know that living abroad would make you gain weight, but I am not sure it would be healthy. So:

a. I have to start doing some physical activity (whatever it means) to burn some fat. Probably walk more, or going out more.

b. eating better. I ate better than before, because I cook. But I need to control the time and the amount of intake.

c. sleep better. It helps me to control weight as well. Hard, but not impossible.

 

2. I also need to finish my study. Of course, that was my priority and still would be my priority this year. Of course I have some plans beside that, but I think those could wait. If I can graduate with distinction it would double my achievement, but passing with upper second class grade is great too.

There’s a chance I would apply for PhD as well. I hope I would be able to get one studentship offered here… Small chance, but worth trying.

 

3. This blog should be maintained better. I know I am still active writing stuff, but look at the layout! Look at the color and picture… It’s a pure disaster. I got some friends offering me to help renovating this blog, and it’s time to ask them if they were serious or not? Sometimes it’s just a common courtesy.

I have tried to re-organize the categories, but I don’t think it’s enough. I should make new banner, new backgrounds, and so many things else. I should move the blog hosting as well.

 

4. I need to get more cultured. Reading books. Watching movies. Get in touch with the world by subscribing news. Come on! I am cut off from the universe since I’m being here. The only way I know what’s happening was only by small discussion at the class or a news from my mother. That’s uncool.

a. read books (5) I lower my expectations considering my schedule

b. visit museums (5) In a year, 5 museums are not much

c. watch movies (5) Seriously? You can always download with that internet speed.

d. read newspaper at least once a week. At least.

 

5. I still have to work on the relationship with people around me. I know I am not yet good enough… I have to keep my relations with my old friends (which was very hard in the end of last year especially, because I moved to the UK), my new friends (which was hard as well because I have issues with new people), and also my family (which was so hard… I don’t know… maybe I really have problems with interpersonal relationship).

Romance is still in the bottom of my priorities. So, I don’t put that measurement in this year resolution. Serious relationship is of course out of question, so… forget about it.

 

6. I need more patience. I mean… I do really have patience, but I can’t handle people with patience. I tend to get irritated when people asking me too many questions which sometimes for me unbelievably stupid or inappropriate, or drilled with questions about my life; what i do, what i do next, what i plan, and so on and so on… or… if I have to handle people who’s asking me the same question over and over again like three of four consecutive days. I need more patience… for people who cares. Seriously, I got so irritated by affections and attachments… It’s like leeches in my skin >_<

I really need to be more patient. Answering BBM with a little understanding… which is so hard. To be honest, for this one, I am not sure I can do it.. But I still write this down, who knows it’s achieved in the end of this year.. Little less bitchy won’t hurt, I guess…

 

7. I think I need to start thinking of my “100 things I need to do before I die” list. You know… Probably completing one item of that list in a year would be good, although it won’t be enough… Anyways…

 

Have you made your resolution this year?

2011 Achievements

December 15, 2011

Well…

In spite of some failed target, I am quite contented with what I’ve got in 2011. As a matter of fact, I have achieved some things that I never thought I would ever get. Today, I will list my conquest in 2011.

1. Cooking

I can’t believe I actually cook! I mean, all this time, the definition of cooking for me was putting everything together in a pot and boil it so when it’s done you wouldn’t have to eat a raw food. But over time, I became pickier and pickier, which consequently made me develop ‘creativity’ to make a better and tastier food for myself.

I still am not a chef. Even, probably, I am not yet a good cook, but I am a better cook than I was last year.

2. Shrinking

Hm… The title doesn’t sound quite right, but unfortunately I don’t have another idea. I wasn’t talking about shrinking my pants size, although if I did it would add up to my achievement list. What I was talking about here, is my decision to go to the shrink this year.

I always thought that I had this problem in me, but never knew what it was. Worse, I didn’t have this courage to go and see the shrink, until few months ago. It was a life changing experience… literally.

I might have not completely changed into a better person now, but I think knowing the problem and the alternative to solve it is one step closer into it.

3. New Friends

I never thought I would do this. My target was only to maintain a good relationship with my old friends, and keep them. I never knew that I can keep making friends from this blog. I even met some of them in real life already, and it was something special for me.

I never thought that I would make friends here, because my plan was to study and become a loner. No. I made some friends, and somehow I actually enjoyed it. Of course I have to learn more in girl-talks (considering most of my new friends now are girls) because I haven’t got the chance to develop this girl-chit-chat for years.

4. Big Decisions

Yes. Decision making is the hardest part for me, but this year I made some big decision of my life. Some changed me, some even changed my life forever. I am not yet sure if I have made the good decision. I could be wrong. I might say, “damn!” but I am pretty sure I won’t regret any of it.

I wouldn’t regret my decision to go far from home. I wouldn’t regret my decision to break up with si Onyed. I wouldn’t regret my decision to spend my food-budget on Noel Gallagher’s concert (I definitely am going to talk about it later). I would, of course, live with the consequences of these decisions, but… quoting The Cranberries, “Everybody else is doing it, so why can’t we?”

5. Finding

Myself. Not quite right, actually. I haven’t actually find myself, but at least, I have gone back to the right track. It’s not so easy to keep searching yourself while doing so many other things. No wonder people went to a hermitage to find themselves, because only in the peaceful mind you can do that.

Well, at least for now, I know what I want to do and what I don’t want. I have lists of things I want to achieve (and I will post that to), and of course priority list that I need to acquire in a short time.

I think there are some other things I have done this year and actually made me proud. But, I might not be able to list them all, so I only put my big five. What have you done this year that made you proud?

 

It’s Almost Over!

December 13, 2011

Just like what I did last year, I made a list of resolutions in the beginning of the year, and evaluate it in December. But seeing the 2011 RESOLUTION, I don’t think I am doing it right this year. Let’s see…

HEALTH:

I started to exercise, and jog every morning only for the first two months of the year. Later, I started to wake up late, and it’s gonna be too hot to go out and run. However, my body clock is getting better and better here in the UK, and I can wake up earlier. But, still, I don’t exercise. I just start to manage my food intake, and with me learning to cook, it’s easier to get a better and healthy food.

It is too bad that I don’t have a weight scale so I can’t update you now about the shaping up resolution. I am pretty sure I am not getting fatter, but the point is I have to lose weight, isn’t it? So, I might go to Denise’s house because she has the weight scale :D

Going to the UK also makes me concerns more about hygiene. Now that I bought everything myself, and shared a house with people who don’t care about hygiene makes me even more health conscious. LOL. Human brain works in a weird way. Especially now, when I am here, it looks like it is so important for me to be able to take shower twice a day. Seriously. In this cold weather?!

FINANCE:

Oh don’t ask me this one. Finance sucks.

I know it’s a bit related to my coming here, but even I can’t finish the 30 day cashflow form from Ligwina Hananto. Not even the first month. Of course I tried again the next month… can’t finish a month >_< That’s horrible. I can’t save up the targetted amount of money as well. But anyways, I saved up little by little here :D

FAMILY:

Uhm… We’re far apart now. I am happy because of that, because apparently I am a better person when I am not around them. LOL. Not that I hate my parents or something, I just can’t stand being in the same room with them too long because they would start saying something that pissed me off. But yeah, I tried to answer my parents when they called or send me messages. Although, sometimes I found it a little bit burdening for me.

I didn’t call my grandmother as much as I wanted. LOL. Merely because of the distance and language limitation. However, I tried to be more active on the family’s blackberry group, so they know I am alive and live well. Not that active. I don’t want them to start questioning about my life, but yeah, I appreciate my family’s support in this life.

OTHERS:

I think I am doing better in this section. As a matter of fact, I am doing really great with this blog. I am not only making this blog alive for another one year (an achievement) although the web hosting made scenes every once in a while. I also exceeded the initial posting target of 150. Up until now from the 1st of January 2011, I made 190+ entries (now you can applaud me for that). I am a proven determined blogger.

My other resolution to keep contact with my old friends also went quite well. I didn’t have to track them down one by one, but somehow I found them all. I went to two of my old friends wedding, and that was the best days on my life. I reached no less than 10 old friends for now and it was great. There were: Miiya, Momo, Two Clowns I Knew In Untar, Mr. Atheist, The Piano Man (Maybe I will tell you something about him), The Guitar Brother, The Hellboy, Win, AK, and Mr. Pervert. And, there are some other acquaintances I contacted again via my high school BlackBerry groups. I am doing very well in this. I just wonder where I can put Mr. X and Magneto among those names.

Few months ago a flew to the UK to start a new life a student. I went back to school, this time to acquire my Master Degree. That, was also one of my resolution (one of the hardest that I never thought would achieve) that I finished with distinction. And I am proud of it.

Those with quantities… I didn’t do it very well. I didn’t have time to watch movie, or read books. Unless reading textbooks counted. I hope I would do better next year for this section. Moreover, I start my Tribalwars over, so I didn’t manage 20 villages. I hope I would be able to get my first noble before Christmas Break though.

 

Anyways… That’s this year evaluation. I hope next year I am going to do better job :D

Buzzy Like A Bee

November 18, 2011

I hate bee… I killed a bee and cried because I was so scared its friends would come to me and kill me. Well, those bees didn’t come, and I won’t recommend you to watch anything about the killer bees, because it would just make you stupidly paranoid…

But yeah, I was quite busy lately. It’s nice to know that I still care to write a blog, eh? Well, writing is the only thing that keeps me sane in this hectic situation. I don’t want to complain about life but now I think 24 hour a day is not enough. Now I know why people said that studying in the UK needs a lot of work.

This is a work, Man!

First of all, this is almost the end of the term, and it’s like I haven’t finish any of my essays. I only have several weeks and I have trouble with my academic English. Hey, Byq, why don’t you just write your essay like you’re writing your blog? Because it is a c a d e m i c.

Today is one of those days. It has been three days since I actually wake up on time. I was a bit in rush lately because I couldn’t wake up as early as usual. And I have to eat breakfast because my mood would be ruined if I don’t. It’s so hard to keep the biological clock on time when you feel too tired to even wake up and start the day.

Shan told me earlier this evening that she saw me very “angry” (I can understand that she has a really limited English vocabulary, especially to explain a very specific emotion like “gloomy”) the other morning. I was really tired I couldn’t even focus on what I ate, and i didn’t listen to any of what she said. It happened again today.

Denise invited me to the coffee break with her friend, the Italian Musician. He’s actually so cute, but I think he’s as old as my mom, so let’s skip the crap. But I couldn’t focus to anything, because I was so tired, and it makes me feel so gloomy.

I actually burned my breakfast; something I never did before, even when I was a crappier cook. I made the sunny side the wrong way, it was totally a mess because this is the day when I need the SUNSHINE on my breakfast. And, I know right there and then, when the milk couldn’t help you boost your mood, I’m in the lowest point on my life.

Really.

I can’t wait until my Indonesian Cigarettes come and I will owe my life to Miiya.