So You’re Friendzoned?

January 21, 2012

Well, just because I don’t have anything to tell you about my life, doesn’t mean I don’t have anything at all, right? (I am so sorry for the double negation, I will try not use too many of it :D ) So, I might just tell you my friend’s story.

Anyway, since she didn’t say that I need to keep this as a secret I will feel free to spread this story. LOL. Don’t worry, I will keep the names anonymous to avoid lawsuit.

Let’s say this guy likes my friend. Well, it was pretty obvious from the first time I met him. I don’t understand how his background shaped his personality, but he always tried to convince everybody that he never interested to my friend, and always said that they’re only friends. Well… Looks like he wanted to friendzone my friend. Of course my friend liked it!

Come on… a guy offered himself to be in the friendzone? What kind of sorcery was that?

It doesn’t last long though… The friendship became awkward, and the conversation led to serious talks. However just like the movie, my friend missed the first sign of bad news, so it became bad. Or, I should say… really bad.

The guy decided not to talk to her. Totally ignore her. Be very cold to her. Which for me is very funny and at the same time, childish. Why? Sulking because the girl that you like doesn’t want to go to the next step? Sulking because you don’t get what you want? Feeling angry, dejected, and decided to take the drastic decision to cut off the relationship is not a good way to get away from your friendzone, dude…

Just because Barney Stinson made a theory about friendzone, and there are some testimonies from some guys that it worked, it doesn’t mean that it works all the time. You know? Maybe there are more who tried and fail and never mentioned it because it sounds too desperate taking advice from a character from a sitcom.

From what I saw, many guys who cut off relationship after being friendzoned, gave the assurance the girls needed, that they’d better be friends forever.

One of my friend told me, “I am not afraid being friendzoned. In fact, look at me, if I never got into the friend zone there’s no chance a girl would know my true self, my true personality. She might not see it in the beginning, but for me friend zone is the way I get into her zone to begin with.”

I believe that many won’t agree with this. Most guys won’t, I think. I am not encouraging people to remain silent being in a friendzone of a love one. DO something! Take risk! We girls like those with confidence and pride, not those who sulk and run from the battle before it even begun. You guys always said that girls with confident are sexy, let me tell you: we also think the same about you.

So… You got friendzoned?

The Non-Negotiables

December 22, 2011

Okay… I might have some problems with girl talk. I might not be able to react the way they want me to react but, fortunately somehow I can find some girl who actually girl talk with less fluctuating emotion. Still… the topic is so girly, I can even find some very girly topic like dating sites from her…

And one day, while talking about a guy who might get interested in her, she told me why she doesn’t like him. It’s something that non-negotiable for her like the attitude, the non-gentleman treatment he gave, the mindset… I think it’s almost everything that’s not physical in him is not pleasing her. And she asked me what’s my non-negotiable…

Although I answered it with a laughter, it actually made me think. Maybe it’s not about finding a perfect partner, because relationship is out of question for now. But I think it is more about what kind of people I want it my life. Being far from people that I’ve known for a long time, starting a lot of new contacts made me reformulate the idea of what kind of people I actually want to connect with.

If before, I have already attached with some people because of the friendship we have already built for years, this is the time to start new things. In which I don’t have to deal with things I don’t like. Things that non-negotiable. I don’t have to be burdened with the attachment and the social responsibility to maintain a relationship just for the sake of maintaining it.

So I made a list of 5 top things that for me is non-negotiable in no particular order:

1. Humor

Denise suggested this to me because I said to her that I lost patience to my flat supervisor because he answered my humorous e-mail with a very plain reply. I also can’t take people who can’t take joke as a joke and those who don’t know how to throw a good joke and try to hard by quoting dry jokes from the forwarded messages and e-mail.

It is important for me to be able to laugh at things no matter how bad it is. Dry joke only worsen my day, and it would automatically bring the bitch out of me.

2. Brain/Knowledge

Of course I need brain! I am a zombie! Well… I don’t know where’s the idea the brain eating zombie came from, but I think that’s rubbish! But yeah… I do need brain.

I like to talk. From this blog, you might have noticed I like to talk about lots of things and it’s important for me to have someone who can keep up with my random topics. It’s not easy though… But brain could make you go further in the relationship with me. Sure.

3. Appreciation for Education

I am okay with self learner. I appreciate and somehow in awe with people with the ability to learn everything by themselves. I appreciate their ability to pick things up from what they see or heard, but it doesn’t mean they have to be a jerk.

I hate people asking us (who’re pursuing our degree) with questions like: why do you have to work so hard for your degree, it won’t make you rich. Or why do you have to study so hard it won’t be used in our daily life? And mocking the education.

Damn, dude! I know that education system in our country might be a mess right now. But that’s why I want to study hard. To change things, not just being a skeptic jerk like y’all. So… this is a non-negotiable for me.

4. Faithfulness

Of course. After a long talk about commitment you should have known that this kind of trait would make it into the big five, right? I have problems with people who cheat. I don’t have to repeat the whole post about commitment and the fine line between cheating and non cheating here.

And it’s not always about you partaking in this situation, but also how you see this concept of faithfulness. If you see this thing is unimportant, I should say that it won’t work…

5. Emotional stability

I hate people who whine, self pitying (throwing pity party invitation to everyone they meet), self blaming for bad things that happened around them (and the world) and those who can pick a fight on the road while stuck at a traffic jam. Seriously.

I know I can be moody and bitchy, thus I don’t need the same creature which would just make me worse. Come on! I don’t need someone who’s constantly happy, it makes me neurotic as well, but I don’t need people dragging me to their depression area. Emotional stability is crucial for me, so it’s a non negotiable.

LOL. Of course there are some others non-negotiable, but hey… I only have five slots for the big five, right?

Dear Byq…

December 20, 2011

I was in the middle of having an email-chat with Denise when suddenly she said that I talk like a self-help columnist in a woman magazine. Oh dear… I was talking about making my own self help book before, wasn’t I? So, I just told her that perhaps I need to write in a column in a magazine for real then…

She said something about writing in a column is better than blogging but I wasn’t offended. Just assume that she didn’t know how the blogsphere could influence so many thing in this world (and how a blogger can be so popular…). Anyways…

Denise came out with the idea that people can write to me and asking me a problem solving for their life complication if I write on a magazine. Of course, I argued that I would still be able to have a “Dear Byq” section in this blog. Right?

I literally burst into laughter when I said that.

Why?

Well… I might sometimes came with a good idea, or brilliant idea… or sometimes super genius (yes I am a narcissist). But it doesn’t mean I know everything (a very modest narcissist). I might be able to answer a thing or two about life, especially if it’s related to my experiences. I might be able to answer a thing or two about communication problems (because it is what I am studying). I might be able to give a perspective about a relationship problem (not my expertise though). But still… it doesn’t mean I am a walking encyclopedia, or a shrink… (Hey! If you’re a in a really deep mental problem or depression, you might need a real shrink instead of reading this, you know?)

And most of the time, I could be in a really bad mood I become a real bitch to everyone. I can make a happy person sad, and a sad person depressed. I can even make a depressed person suicidal. But of course, I can make someone who need a punch in the face and a hardcore wake up call awake and realize the real life they’re facing here. Some people came back to me after I bitched them to thank me for opening their eyes. Some just go and never come back, I just hope they didn’t commit suicide.

So,

As much as I want to be a busybody, I don’t want to make the impression that I am a problem solver. I am not perfect. Almost. But no, I am not…

I won’t start giving up my e-mail address though. If I want to make a Dear Byq real, I still have to think about it better :D

 

Cheers ~

The Inactives

December 19, 2011

I think it’s been so long since the last time I post something about Tribal Wars. I am quite surprise that there are some people that came here because of the the TW post I made before, and more surprisingly they actually were trying to find out how to know whether a player is active or not.

Apparently, player’s activity might be a very crucial point in this game. If you’re not active for a few days it’s guaranteed that you would lose your village, a.k.a getting nobled. That’s why some really serious and strict tribe leaders kick their inactive members or just label them as “farm” so their tribe mates can just pick any resources from that particular member.

There are at least three ways that I know how to detect inactive players.

1. The easiest way to check whether your neighbor is active or not is by sending him a mail.

You see, when you send him a mail, you can check whether he open it or not. With an assumption, if he’s active and online, he’ll check his mail and even if he doesn’t reply you’d still be able to know whether he’s checking his village or not.

However, this is a little bit tricky because some more experienced player might detect your move and use this trick to get back to you.

2. Tribalwarsmap.com

I got this link from my TW Tutor in W17. I was a noob and I was told that this is one of the best tools you can use in getting your way in TW. First, you can use it to have a bigger map and you can calculate attack time using the map. Most of all, you can detect inactive villages around you using this map.

Yeah! It’s more effective. The downside is you have to keep checking because it’s not real time. It’s refreshed once in a while.

3. Be a tribe leader

There’s a privilege, of course, for being a leader on your tribe. You will be able to see whether your members are active or not. We called the inactive. The red dot.

Yellow dot is a warning. Red means you’re a farm or kicked.

If you’re never a tribe leader, you might never know this, but since I was… Well, I am not bragging myself. I need to learn more because I think there are lots of new features in this game now.

Anyways…

You can always detect inactive players from the pace of the progress. The too-slow progressed player usually not active enough, or just don’t know how to play this game. Either way, you can always kill this kind of player. Even if you’re focusing on troops the too-slow is too slow!

Well, if you’re a TW player, good luck. If you’re in w60, we might see each other there…

Something That I Hate: “About Me”

December 11, 2011

On the last entry I told you that finally I registered myself to one of the dating sites, which now I never touch again. Well… First because I got really bored there, and second, it asked me to pay! So, I might as well left that site.

Anyway, I am not going to talk about the dating site again, because I am not into it. There’s one thing I found out really hard to do when I fill out the profile section. “About Me” form!

If you look into the “About Me” section of this blog, you might recognize my inability to write description about myself. I don’t know why but I think when you write something about yourself in the “About Me” section it was kiind of misleading. You will make the reader thought that you’re just like what you described there, whilst actually different people has different perception about you.

It should be: “My Own Perception About Me”.

The second part isn’t easier… It’s about what things interest you? How could it possible for people to actually fill in this form? What interest me? So many yet so few. I like music, but I don’t like dangdut, for example. I like food but I don’t like several core ingredients like those from onion and garlic family. How could you summarize what you like and dislike in 500 characters? That’s insane.

Seriously, sometimes I think Clive’s 3500 words assignments is so much easier than to sum up my life story in 500 characters.

But the hardest part isn’t coming yet.

It’s the “WHAT I’M LOOKING FOR”

Geez.

Isn’t that too obvious? I am looking for a prince charming in a shining armor, riding a white horse and speak ancient Elven language. His name might be Legolas. Or better, if he speak ancient Elven language with a British accent… and his name would be Sir Legolas of Mirkwood.

It took me years to think about what I would write there, but anyway… I forgot what I have wrote there. I might have left it blank >_<. But when I think about it again, what should I write there? What would I write in a form like that if I want to be very honest and blunt about my types? Hm… It would probably be like this:

I don’t care if you’re a girl or a boy. I don’t really care how old you’re as long as you’re a legal citizen, because I don’t want to get jailed because of dating an underage. I don’t care what ethnicity or race or nationality, but Elven is preferable.

If you don’t know Oasis and Blur, you might be too old or too young for me. If you know it already and you don’t like it, we would be having a lot of arguments about what good music is. If you’re a fan of Justin Bieber, you might want to know my ex, I can introduce you to her. But I like someone who can play musical instrument, because I can’t. If we’re not a match but you can play guitar, I would like to befriend with you so you can teach me how to play guitar.

If you choose the Fast and the Furious over LOTR, we’re not going to watch movie together. Especially if you think that Transformer is a better movie than Fracture. I am not a fan of Romantic Comedy though, but Love Actually and He’s Just Not That Into You are exceptions. I hate (500) Days of Summer, and people who said that there’s a similarity between me and Summer, so although you might think so just shut your mouth. I chose pop corn over nachos. And plain water over soda.

You don’t need to bring me to fancy restaurants, especially if you’re a chef. If you cook and then clean the dishes, that’s so much better. The best is, if you can also do laundry, house cleaning, fix the plumbing system, and drive. Oh.. no. Wait… The BEST is, if you can massage!

I don’t care how tall you’re, but just a warning, I LOVE high heels. If you’re not tall enough, I wish you’re confident enough. That’s fine. I don’t mind if you don’t do exercise that much. I don’t even care. Just be healthy, because it’s useless we’re doing this if you die soon. So, you don’t need to be all slim and slender, but check your cholesterol rate and your blood sugar -_-”. Oh, and have a HIV check too if you’re serious.

You don’t have to be fashionable. Please dress properly. I mean, it’s painful to my eyes to see your underwear everywhere when you bend down. Buy a real pants. Or a pair of cute underwear.

I am a liberal. And a democrat. I expected someone who won’t limit my liberty and democracy. I don’t want a preacher lecturing about how I should live my life. Seriously, you’d be friendzoned in a second. And I don’t need someone who corrected my every word, or reminded me about the meme i used in my daily conversation. Basically, I need someone who talk, but know when to shut.

Anyways, if you read this and you still interested, then you can send me message.

Cheers.