In one of the previous entries in this blog I told you how agonizing it was waiting for something important. And you know what? It was worse when you can’t tell anyone about it, like what was happened to me.


Two weeks ago I went to take an IELTS test. I didn’t post about it in this blog because I wasn’t sure that I could get the score I wanted to achieve. The reason why I doubt my test result was because I didn’t get a proper IELTS preparation, and I always believed that without those preparation courses I wouldn’t be able to get a good result score. And that’s why I said I was pathetic for doubting myself like I’ve never did before. I wished I’d never feel like that ever again.

I tried to enroll for an IELTS course in one of the learning center in my neighborhood. But somehow, the IELTS preparation course could only be started after certain number of people have had joined in the course. But until the date that was set earlier, the minimum number of participants hasn’t been reached so I cancelled my participation right away. Too bad, the other IELTS preparation course at the other learning center had already begun earlier, so I had to do everything by myself.

My English wasn’t so good. Even though I always got good scores in high school, watched western TV series, and I was used to chat with native people from paying forums, I don’t have the ability to converse or write in formal language. That could be a problem for me because my target score was 6.5 and I never actually spoke to an English native speaker before. That should have explained why I was not confident enough to talk about the test in this blog.

On the day the test was held, I met an acquaintance from the University, and apparently she took the preparation course at the same institution with most of people there. They were so prepared with notes of vocabularies and grammars, and they were so confident talking in English among them and their tutor. They came with dictionaries, notes, and even some of them brought lunchbox with them, while I brought only myself and the needed documents. I didn’t even know what to bring that day *Sigh*. Their presence brought more pressure on me, so I talked to no one, and kept silent before, during and after the test, hoping no one will ask me about how I did the test.

My mom didn’t help. She kept on bugging me with the question about my IELTS result, which stressed me out because I didn’t know at that moment. Last Friday I got the result from the internet, because the lady on the institution said I could get the result from there before I got the certificate paper. It was a relieved when I know I got 7.0, although my speaking and writing test (as predicted) wasn’t as satisfying as it was hoped.

Talking about the IELTS test… Some fellows must be asking why I needed them? Well… I can’t say it now because I don’t want to jinx it. Hope everything would be alright and I can tell you everything you want to know.


PS. Yes, my grammar messed up, that’s why I score pretty low in writing test.


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