The Non-Negotiables


Okay… I might have some problems with girl talk. I might not be able to react the way they want me to react but, fortunately somehow I can find some girl who actually girl talk with less fluctuating emotion. Still… the topic is so girly, I can even find some very girly topic like dating sites from her…

And one day, while talking about a guy who might get interested in her, she told me why she doesn’t like him. It’s something that non-negotiable for her like the attitude, the non-gentleman treatment he gave, the mindset… I think it’s almost everything that’s not physical in him is not pleasing her. And she asked me what’s my non-negotiable…

Although I answered it with a laughter, it actually made me think. Maybe it’s not about finding a perfect partner, because relationship is out of question for now. But I think it is more about what kind of people I want it my life. Being far from people that I’ve known for a long time, starting a lot of new contacts made me reformulate the idea of what kind of people I actually want to connect with.

If before, I have already attached with some people because of the friendship we have already built for years, this is the time to start new things. In which I don’t have to deal with things I don’t like. Things that non-negotiable. I don’t have to be burdened with the attachment and the social responsibility to maintain a relationship just for the sake of maintaining it.

So I made a list of 5 top things that for me is non-negotiable in no particular order:

1. Humor

Denise suggested this to me because I said to her that I lost patience to my flat supervisor because he answered my humorous e-mail with a very plain reply. I also can’t take people who can’t take joke as a joke and those who don’t know how to throw a good joke and try to hard by quoting dry jokes from the forwarded messages and e-mail.

It is important for me to be able to laugh at things no matter how bad it is. Dry joke only worsen my day, and it would automatically bring the bitch out of me.

2. Brain/Knowledge

Of course I need brain! I am a zombie! Well… I don’t know where’s the idea the brain eating zombie came from, but I think that’s rubbish! But yeah… I do need brain.

I like to talk. From this blog, you might have noticed I like to talk about lots of things and it’s important for me to have someone who can keep up with my random topics. It’s not easy though… But brain could make you go further in the relationship with me. Sure.

3. Appreciation for Education

I am okay with self learner. I appreciate and somehow in awe with people with the ability to learn everything by themselves. I appreciate their ability to pick things up from what they see or heard, but it doesn’t mean they have to be a jerk.

I hate people asking us (who’re pursuing our degree) with questions like: why do you have to work so hard for your degree, it won’t make you rich. Or why do you have to study so hard it won’t be used in our daily life? And mocking the education.

Damn, dude! I know that education system in our country might be a mess right now. But that’s why I want to study hard. To change things, not just being a skeptic jerk like y’all. So… this is a non-negotiable for me.

4. Faithfulness

Of course. After a long talk about commitment you should have known that this kind of trait would make it into the big five, right? I have problems with people who cheat. I don’t have to repeat the whole post about commitment and the fine line between cheating and non cheating here.

And it’s not always about you partaking in this situation, but also how you see this concept of faithfulness. If you see this thing is unimportant, I should say that it won’t work…

5. Emotional stability

I hate people who whine, self pitying (throwing pity party invitation to everyone they meet), self blaming for bad things that happened around them (and the world) and those who can pick a fight on the road while stuck at a traffic jam. Seriously.

I know I can be moody and bitchy, thus I don’t need the same creature which would just make me worse. Come on! I don’t need someone who’s constantly happy, it makes me neurotic as well, but I don’t need people dragging me to their depression area. Emotional stability is crucial for me, so it’s a non negotiable.

LOL. Of course there are some others non-negotiable, but hey… I only have five slots for the big five, right?


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