The Fatty I Love


I don’t understand why these Indonesian people loves giving bad nickname for people that they love. Of course the meaning is not bad when you’re giving nicknames to each other because you love this person, but what the hell…?

Today I read the Facebook status of my friend’s wife. She said, “I am so lucky to have Si Gendut.”

Once again. What the hell? Gendut means Fat, Man!

I just realize that not only her, but I think most girls kept giving names like that to people that they care about. When I was toddler, one of my aunt also called me with this kind of nicknames. When I was with si Onyed, she called me with “Chubby”, which means… fat. I didn’t do better, I should admit. Sometimes, I called her with “Bodoh” which means “stupid”.

Why insulting someone else’s physical appearance could be a love expression?

Does that mean that you call him/her with that way, shows you that you love him/her more? Does it mean that if you destroy someone else’s self confidence shows that you care about him/her more? Are you trying to say that “oh, even if you’re fat i love you still”? Are you trying to knock down his/her spirit so you can came up with this heroic “I’ll save you Dear” action?

I just realized that I hate that expression.

In the other side of the world, when you like someone, you’d give a better designation. You showed the affection with the good things that you feel. You’re either gonna call her/him: sweet heart, sweet pie, love, honey, hunny bunny… or worse, “baby”. But not “fat” or “chubby”, or maybe “stupid”.

I know that in Indonesia, giving sweet name to the person you love would sound so stupid. Sometimes cheesy. Or… almost all the time unnecessary. But how hard is it to NOT calling something that would build up a bad self concept in someone’s mind? Is this Asian kind of thing? No wonder many Indonesians are engaged with obsessive diet and become so defensive about jokes, their self confident are ruined by people that they care about.


I was just wondering. Nevermind.


Cheers ~


4 responses

  1. i agree with u! i hates silly names people gave to other to “prove” their love. It is absolutely stupid. I had one when i was kids, and i hate it. Thanks God, they stopped when i grown up.
    Once, i got it again from a training in univ. Right after the inauguration, i refused to be called with that name. I won’t respond for that name at all!

    For me, silly name are not meant to show love/care, it meant to show superiority. From parents to the kids, from elder siblings to the younger. A lover to showed that they’re superior, that they could called the partner what ever they want in the name of LOVE.

    so…. i like to called what people like to be called 🙂 That’s why i called u Byq, cos i think u like to be called with that name 🙂


    • Thanks Soe… I love being called Byq.

      And it reminds me, that I have to change the pseudonym for “si Onyed” here. LOL. Although, it used it only for the sake of anonymity, but I think it’s not fair if I still use it while I don’t use the same for the others…


  2. well, i did have the same thought until i land myself in this another asian country last year. apparently the couples here also consider ‘stupid’ or ‘fatty’ as an affectionate pet names for each other.. so not only Indonesian, seems this is an asian kind of thing.. since asian culture worships looks and brains. i believe that by giving such an undesirable nickname, it only proves one low self-esteem and by bring someone else down could make you feel a temporary superiorness. just my opinion..

    anyway, been a while since i visit and you wrote a lot since then.
    keep yourself warm.. bring along hot packs . a must have for first winter survival..



    • well… if those people just want to use that kind of names just to boost their self esteem, why don’t they use it to someone they hate? It makes more sense, doesn’t it?

      Anyways, welcome back to my blog… Nice to have you here again, G 🙂
      *) your name reminds me of NCIS: LA TV series 😀