I am inspired by Soe’s post about woman and cooking. Basically she was questioning the society’s expectation for women to be able to cook. As if, cooking skill is a requirement for a good partner and good parent. Some comments on her blog post weren’t really pleasing, and she said that the particular blog was linked to one of the biggest community forum in Indonesia. Since she didn’t give me the link, I tried to browse myself, and instead of finding what I wanted, I was directed to the thread talking about whether a girl should be able to cook.
Most of the respondents said that they want their partner to be able to cook. Most of them believe that cooking is a natural gift for females, and girls who claimed themselves can’t cook are either lazy and spoiled or feminists who against nature. Only few believes that cook or not cook is personal choices, but these opinions were undoubtedly bashed. Most of the respondents also said that they would only marry a girl who cook. And of course as the closure they condemn girls who don’t cook (and again using the same reason: spoiled or against nature).
Don’t get me wrong. I love cooking.
I started to learn cooking more seriously (but not professionally) since I got here, so it’s been months already. I love cooking more than I love eating, which is a little bit weird in my opinion. I cook when I’m feeling low, or depressed. It is fun, it distracts me from the negative emotions I felt, and actually it would be so much better if someone that I care about eat it and appreciate it. It would just double the joy. I love cooking, and I know that it’s not everybody. While I enjoy every second of it; washing, preparing, cutting, mixing, tasting, smelling… for Celia, it was pain in the bottom. And I can totally understand that.
In addition to that, it seems that cooking gave me the popularity in facebook. I mean, after I posted some of my cooking creation, people started to comments and they actually… hm… Back to what Soe proposed earlier on her blog, somehow in Indonesia, men like girls who cook. I constantly get these “marriage proposals” from guys and, “you will be a really good wife/mother” from girls. It’s good basically…
However, as much I enjoy cooking, I hate what comes with it. I hate washing up dishes. I hate it because it makes my hand and nails dry. I hate touching the oily plates with my fingers, and I hate scrubbing the pan. I hate when the water sprayed my face because of the stupid spoon. And, what I hate more, those boys who proposed to marry me because they want me to cook for them never, even once, offered their help to wash the dishes. What a selfish bastard!
I am not going to discuss this from the feminist point of view, let it be Soe’s job. I love cooking, I wouldn’t mind cooking for anybody. In fact, I occasionally invited friends to my flat just for lunch or dinner, and I will cook the whole things. So I don’t have any problem with that. But, if offering to wash the dishes in return didn’t even cross your mind, how can you expect me to be happy cooking for you all the time? Who’s gonna wash those fuken dishes? Unless you buy me that bloody dishwasher, or hire me someone to scrub those pans…
Or just simply a nice gesture and wash those for me.
So, just a suggestion guys… You expected a girl to cook for you? What would you give in return? *wink*