Culture Revisited: “The Obligatory Party”


I just saw one of my friend’s facebook wall, and she said, roughly like this: “No wonder there is no party invitation, the birthday girls are having a vacation. Oh well, that’s fine, don’t forget the souvenirs!”

Here’s the thing. I have the problem with the “obligatory” party or souvenirs which is very popular in Indonesian culture. Some people like celebration, but I don’t. It was a torture for me to make a big fuss about the things that I would rather enjoy myself. Like birthday.

I am not a kind of person who would happily throw a birthday party. If I was the birthday girl, the last thing I would want to do is serving people and making them happy in the day where I supposed to be the Queen. If I was a birthday girl the last thing I want to do is to spend so much money, in the day where I supposed to receive tons of gifts. What is wrong with the culture? -_-”

So is wedding party.

Life after marriage would not be easy. It would require you a lot of money. You would want to buy a house, furnitures, and probably new cars and a dog. Why the hell you would want to use all your savings to have a glamorous wedding party? Why?

I would not say anything if you are very rich and throwing a party would not be a problem at all. I am referring to those who believed that throwing a party is obligatory. Those who believed that it is a part of the culture which they MUST do; and they forgot the essence of the moment itself.

Like what I have said in the entry about the independence day, a celebration comes after a deep contemplation. Oh today is your birthday, what have you achieved this year? What have you done? Have you been your best? Were you satisfied? What would you want to improve next year? Birthday is the perfect moment to self checking (New Year is too…)

Party was supposed to be a way for you to share the happiness with people who cares. If you’re not happy, what’s the point of throwing a party? Do people do this to show off by flashing their fortune? Or giving opportunity to people who wanted to do so? I remembered once, my great grandmother had her 85th birthday. Her children and grand children used the money for a charity. Isn’t that what “sharing happiness” about?

Of course I don’t want to rub in everybody’s face that they are wrong and I am right. I just wondered if anybody ever think what I just contemplated?

Anyway, whoever having birthday today, happy birthday to you 🙂


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