Monthly Archives: September 2012

TNSOFT ep. 6


Captain Whale came back from his ship caretaking business with a happy face; and two young men followed behind him. These men carried their dinner. One grilled big fish, a meat stew, bread and also a pie. The room filled with the smell which would make anybody hungry.

Princess and Coco were already hungry, one could not imagine how the smell would affect their royal behaviour.

“Please, eat! I will continue my story while we are feasting,” said Captain Whale cheerfully.

The food tasted really good. Coco never thought the ship cook could make an equivalent match with the palace cook. Princess Cinnamon could not care less; she just enjoyed whatever served in front of her and waiting for the captain to continye his story.

“Right. Her mother said that her daughter should never marry a poor sailor whose feet never land on the ground. I was so broken hearted; the thought of my darling was taken away from me made me think of ending my adventure with Captain Shark.

But later that night, while I was gathering my courage to tell Captain Shark that I decided to stay on the land, he came to me with the biggest surprise in my life. He brought me my wife. He said she came to him to ask if she could sail away with us, and of course he was worried because she was just a small girl. However when Captain Shark knew why she ran from home, he brought her to me.

We got married in the sea, and celebrate it in the Kingdom of Music in the Land of Four Kingdom and Four Season. It was a beautiful day. The weather was great, and I was in love. I am still in love with the same person every day,” Captain drank his tea from his beer glass; Coco suspected he might drink wine from a teacup.

“But you left your wife on the land!” Princess Cinnamon cried out a disapproval.

“Child, life is not that simple, isn’t it? If it was, you would not even be here, would you, My Princess?”

Princess and Coco were both worried now. How could this man recognise them? What if he wanted to kidnap the princess and asked the King and Queen a piece of strategic coastal land, or hundreds of gold coins?

“Please don’t worry both of you. I would not tell anybody. Just like what mother said to my father, it would be a great opportunity if you could see the world and learn something from it,” the captain chuckled, knowing exactly what in these girls minds.

But Coco could not help feeling aware. She politely excused herself for the moon was high, and thanked him for the feast, and dragged the unwilling princess to go with her back to their cabin. And lock themselves there.

“Do not leave this room until we reached our destination, Princess! Do you understand how dangerous it would be if people knew who you really are?”

“Yes I am aware of that. Therefore, stop calling me “Princess”!”


Coco wondered why it was not surprising at all when she found the princess’ bed had already made (impressive!!), and empty when she woke up. She was pretty sure the funny feeling in the stomach was not come from the nervousness; she had experienced that before – the first time she found out the princess snuck out to meet that musician.

“Idiot!” she grumbled; and felt guilty at the same time for saying that out loud.

She hurriedly make herself look presentable. Not an easy task if you were not in the place where you can access to the luxury of fresh water and fragrance oil, like in the palace. And with the mirror so small she could not make sure that she had put everything together properly.

This was what Coco always believed: she might not be the prettiest servant in the palace, but she could always make herself look presentable by taking care of herself. How you present yourself would be what people see you. Nobody cares for a smelly fat woman with messy hair and greasy face.

Even if she had to vomit her guts out today, she would do that looking pretty!

One second before she reached the door, Princess Cinnamon came in with a pot of tea. And two cups. The princess made her tea? She felt more embarrassed than being hung naked in the town centre.

“Ah! You woke up and ready,” she placed the tray in their small table.”Have some tea before we go out and enjoy the day, it is incredible out there!”

“Princess! You cannot do this for me!” Coco pointed out to the tea with an expression of horror.

“Why not? You have done this for me all the time, I know how to do it too,” the princess poured the tea for both of them; spilled it a little; wiped it with bare hand – changed Coco’s embarrassed expression to disgusted in an instance.

“And how about our plan not to go out from this tiny shabby cabin until we reached your destination?” Coco changed the subject – knowing exactly that arguing about tea with her princess would just counterproductive.

“But Captain Whale has the tea,” the princess smiled, obviously enjoying the furious servant’s reaction.

“Princess we agreed…” Coco could not finish her sentence.

“No, Coconut. Not “we agreed”. It was “you decided”, remember?”

The only reason why Coco followed Princess Cinnamon to the captain’s cabin is purely because she could not let the princess die alone. If the captain wanted to kidnap the princess, then that old man had to take her too. She did not want to be kidnapped but, whatever, if it happened she could just rub it on the face of that brainless princess.

It is not that the princess did not know what worried her beloved servant. But Coconut definitely have underestimated her excellent judgement of characters. She had never been wrong, and she was sure that she was right this time. She would not care if Coconut wanted to miss the captain’s cool adventure; but she wanted to show her how shallow her judgements were.

The captain of course felt the tension between the two ladies. As much as he enjoyed teasing these girls like what he always did to his own daughter, and how much fun he had from this, he could not help feeling sorry for them.

“Coconut, you do not have to worry. I don’t have any intention to abduct your princess. It is safer here with me than out there with sailors who haven’t seen women for week,” Captain explained it nicely to Coconut who kept staring at him suspiciously.

“Sure,” she said unconvincingly.

“Don’t mind her. Just continue your story!” Princess Cinnamon demanded, before she added, “please?”

Sometimes she just forgot that she was not at the palace anymore. She had to be polite when she asked something from other people. If nobody had seen her, she might have smacked her own head for being so rude.

“Haha. Right. So where were we?” Captain Whale entertained the princess.

“You married the lady,” Princess Cinnamon replied fast and cheerfully.

Princess Cinnamon never heard her own father told her his love story. In fact, she barely talked to the King; except for the special occasion when he would summoned her and questioned her over some reports about her mischiefs. She wondered how the captain’s daughter looks like, anf how happy for being a daughter of a chatty daddy.

“The sea is not a friendly place for a girl, but my darling was a very strong woman. She was tougher than the sea rock. She followed me wherever we sailed.

“And then Captain Shark died because of his illness. He got this illness from too much drinking and having fun with the ladies in the seaport. When he died, he gave me this ship,” Captain Whale face looked so gloomy. Princess Cinnamon would have offered a friendly hug if she was not a princess. She hated being a princess.


The Not So Ordinary Fairy Tale Ep. 5


“I can’t believe you tried to go away without me, Princess!” Coco said angrily to the girl in a simple pink dress.

“Coco! How do you know I would be here?”

“I know you would wait until the guards are drawn back to thr palace before actually fled. So i waited here since I heard the King recalled them,” Coco explained proudly.

“What if they tried to find you?” Princess looked worried; made Coco almost felt guilty for being so angry to her.

“Everybody was too busy looking for the missing princess, who cares if one servant is missing from the palace,” Coco grinned victoriously.

Princess Cinnamon was so happy to see Coco, however hugging her would make both of them feel awkward. So she just smiled and thanked her for coming with her.

“I thought you would report me. I know you disprove this plan,” Princess Cinnamon said finally.

“Don’t be silly! You know my loyalty is only to you, my Princess.”

“And start calling me Cinnamon. Once we were in the ship, I would no longer be a princess,” said Princess Cinnamon cheerfully.

“No,” Coco snapped.

“What do you mean no?”

“I have decided that you are my princess wherever we land. And since you would no longer a princess, you could not tell me how I should address you,” Coco said cheerfully now.

And without giving Princess Cinnamon any opportunity to protest, she continued,

“And you know what Bull gave me this morning? Extra dessert! Let’s eat, this is the last time you would taste the palace’s dessert.”


She should have taken the Princess to the palace soon after she found that selfish little brat. Coco hated the ship. She hated the sea. She hated the noisy seagull and those filthy passengers. She wanted to go back to the land, to the palace where she can enjoy whatever Bull cooked for her without feeling vomiting.

Fifteen minutes after the ship sailed to the ocean, her head started spinning, and whatever inside her stomach was imitating the wave she’s been staring at. She could not stand long enough without feeling the urge to run to the puke bucket. It was just filthy. And embarrassing.

Her name was Coconut. And she was born in the coastal area. She spent her childhood in the beach, and seeing the fishermen’s boats come and go. And, she had a nasty seasick.

The princess in the other hand enjoyed every second of it. The wind, the sky, the sun, the wave, the splash of the salt water whenever the wave hit the side of the ship; which would make the ship swing a little, and Coco throw up a little bit more.

“Where are you going, Child?” asked an old sailor to the Princess.

“We are heading to the Land of Four Kingdom and Four Season.” explained the Princess naively.

“Oh is this your first time going to that place?” the kind sailor asked again.

“Yes. I heard about the land from a musician, and I want to see if what he had said to me was true.”

“Child, it is going to be the cold season there. Have you got any proper clothings to wear?”

Princess Cinnamon shook her head. She tried to assure the nice old man that she could stand the cold weather; which instantly made the man laughed unstoppably.

Coco listened to the conversation furiously. That savage old sailor would be hang and boiled once we got back to the Kingdom of Summer. How could he laughed at the princess like that.

“The cold weather in that land is vicious, Child. You should wear clothes hunderd times thicker than one you are wearing now” he said after with all his willpower stopping his laughter.

“Oh, sir what should I do, then?”

“My daughter might have left some of her clothes in my cabin, I think I can find two coats for both of you,” said the sailor.

If not because of the wave again, Coco might have come and slap that old man because of this crazy idea. How could you asked the princess to wear a used clothes? And why does she looks so happy? Didn’t she know that she could catch skin disease wearing unclean clothings.

Frustrated, Coco followed both of them to the cabin where the sailor lived.


“Oh you are the captain of the ship?” Princess Cinnamon could not hide the excitement. Coco was as surprised however her stomach would not let her reacted in a non snobbish way.

The cabin is like a house in one big room. The captain had a table, a big bed, a small kitchen, and one bathroom. How convenient. Coco was pretty angry that the captain did not give the best room to the princess. She just realised she’d been angry all the time. The princess must have made her mental health disturbed.

“After my daughter got married, she stayed on the Kingdom of Summer. She then left all her nice coats here…” the captain opened one wardrobe full of girl clothes and coats.

“Where is your wife?” asked Princess Cinnamon while browsing the clothes she never had seen before.

“She decided she’s no longer want to spend her life at sea. She lives with my daughter and my son in law in the land…”

“And why don’t you stay with your wife?” asked the princess. Coco stared at her in horror; how come the princess said something so rude?

However, to Coco’s surprise, instead of getting offended, the captain laughed. She started to think that maybe he never meant to harm or laugh at anybody, he only had the peculiar sense of humour. Coco decided to forgive him for what he said earlier to her princess; not because of the beautiful furry coat he gave to her and Princess Cinnamon, of course.

“Child, do you want tea?” he asked Coco whose face had turned so pale.

“Yes please if that does not bother you,” Coco gave up. Being stubborn and not accepting anybody’s help would not make anything better.

“Ah don’t worry about that. You both take a seat. Want some biscuits as well?”

Princess Cinnamon shamelessly yelp in excitement. She could not hide her happiness. Everything was just great, nothing could be wrong. She had a feeling that this would be the start of a new life.

The captain sat in the table with both Coco and Princess Cinnamon. Coco sipped her mint tea and suddenly she felt so much better and relaxed. Princess Cinnamon munched her biscuits like a thirteen years old, and the captain started his tale.

“I came from one of the islands in the Kingdom of Winterlands. They have three islands which always covered with the frost. It was always too cold to grow anything in the ground so most of us live by hunting and fishing

I was a son of a fisherman. He was a great fisherman; every morning he would be back home with hundreds of fishes. My mother would smoked those which father could not trade in the market. Live was great.

Then I met captain Shark. He was once a fisherman too, but he was not good at fishing. So he decides to sail. He went to many kingdoms to trade and he became rich! I wanted to be rich, and I decided to come to my father and told him I wanted to be a sailor instead of a fisherman.

“Oh he was so upset, but my mother said to him that it might be good for me to see the world, and learned something from it. So I worked at Captain Shark’s ship,” the captain stopped his story. The two girls were staring at him, amazed.

For a second, Princess Cinnamon thought she might want to be a sailor too. Wouldn’t it great to be able to sail all around the world and see many places, and spend days in a great ocean?

“More tea, Kids?” asked him looking at the empty cups.

“Please,” answered Coco; the tea calmed the storm in her belly.

The captain poured more tea for them and refilled the biscuits for the happy princess.

“Captain Shark did not marry. He lives in the sea, and the ship is his baby. He fought the pirates to defend his ship, it meant to him more than life itself. He never spend more than a week in the land. He said, it would make him landsick.

“So he treated me, his apprentice like his own son. He told me how to conquer the most vile storm, and how to trade in different kingdoms. And I met the woman who would be my wife in the Kingdom of Summer. She was the daughter of the carpenter in the coastal area. Her father helped Captain Shark renovate the ship once when we landed at the Kingdom of Summer.

“I never failed to visit her every time we land there. However it means i can only see her every few months. One day she told me that her mother wanted her to marry a son of baker in the town. I came to her house that evening, and asked her mother to let her marry me instead, and I will take her to see the wonder of infinite world

That fat cow said no,” Captain laughed again.

Coco could not believe the captain just called his mother in law as a fat cow. That was so rude, but she was too curious to listen the rest of the story to be angry or offended by what the captain had said.

Princess Cinnamon in the other hand was so amused she could not stop laughing with the idea of calling somebody fat cow. She had seen a cow before, a fat one, and she could not imagine that cow being mean and refused a proposal from a man who wanted to marry her daughter.

“I would love to continue my story, but it is time for me to check my men out there. You can stay here to rest, I would be back in no time,” the captain smiled happily; it’s been long since the last time he talked like this, and these two young girls just reminded him to his daughter.

Inspiration Is Everywhere, They Said…


Yeah… So they said.

I don’t know if I should agree with this. Of course I have found inspiration in many places; in the bus stop when I was waiting for… the bus (doh!) *rolleyes*, in the bus, in the train, in the a piece of heaven which take a form of a small room called toilet, in the bath tub, on Mr. Fix-It sofa, in Mr. Break-It bed, the village’s porch when I was having my cigarettes, when I was eating chips on McDonalds (that was awful because I couldn’t simply reach my mobile and write), and… basically everywhere. But…

In my own bedroom.

After posting one one video yesterday… of course it was Oasis, I realised that most of my entries were not written in this new room. I know… I know that one of the reason why I took this place instead of the other one was because of that bloody study room, but the fact is, I haven’t actually use that study room and instead writing this on my bed. Nothing wrong with it… it’s just….


It reminded me about something that my lecturer said when I was still studying at Architecture School. On our first day of STUPA, or Architecture Design Studio, the lecturer gathered us in one studio class, and told us that based on his experience, the students who were assigned on the studio 1 is more creative than the students who were assigned on the studio 2 (or vice versa – for fuck sake it was 9 years ago, give me a break *rolleyes*). He assumed that it was because of what we saw from the window. In one class, the window faced to the university’s yard, and the other faced other building’s wall.

I wonder if it has anything to do with our window.

I mean… It was a theory, and I have never known the answer of the theory because I quit Architecture School. But I was thinking that it might be true.

I have never got the same problem when I was in the Village. I have posted the picture of the view from my window and it was heartbreakingly beautiful. It was the sunset, the sunrise, the rainbow, even the creepy fog. It’s just beautiful. It might be the one who opened my brain, and expand my horizon and therefore gave me a lot of inspiration. To blog (I couldn’t get the inspiration to write my dissertation at my room >_< sadly… I just found out that I could write a lot better when I was in the library). Or course, it was THAT melancholic it made me a little bit mushy like an overcooked rice.

Yes… I also found that this theory is flawed. Big time.

If the view from the window gave us a lot of inspiration, how about the inspiration we got when we were doing business in the heaven toilet? Right?

So is that true that the inspiration is everywhere?

Where did you find yours?

The Not So Ordinary Fairy Tale Ep. 4


That year the princess turned twenty. The King and Queen were a little bit concerned that she has not yet shown the sign of maturity. Mentally.

While Princess Lavender who was eighteen just announced her engagement with Crown Prince Lion from the Kingdom of Arches, and Princess Violet seemed to get closer and closer to Prince Octo from the Kingdom of Knowledge; Princess Cinnamon seemed to busied herself with this stupid house chores with the useless servant, Coco.

The Queen was not happy. It was quite obvious from the way she talked about it; and especially the facial expression when she talked about it.

Of course as a queen she does not have to hide her disapproval to anyone, but she was also a mother. She could make something happen in just by snapping her fingers as a queen, but she could not do that as a mother. Sometimes she thought being a queen would be so much easier than being a mother.

Being a mother she had to spy, bribe, and keep the children unaware how much she knew about their personal life. Princess Violet for example, how could she think that the Queen did not know anything about her relationship with the prince from the Kingdom of Knowledge?

But Princess Cinnamon was always the difficult one. She inherit the stubbornness of her grandfather, the former King. And although she looked just like the Queen, her brain was not at all like the Queen’s. Quietly, and guiltily, the Queen felt relieved that she was no longer the Crown Princess. She would definitely ruined the whole kingdom with her simple mindedness.

Crown Prince was so much like her. He was the smartest, and of course with her battling skill, he would be able to lead this kingdom to its golden moment once more. Nothing to worry about, that boy was perfect since he was born.

But the Royal Family could not bear the shame if the eldest princess was not married. She knew she had to do something; she just was not sure yet the best way to do it.


Princess Cinnamon closed the door behind her. Her face was as white as paper. Cold sweat dripping from her forehead. Coco had been outside all the time, waiting for her princess to tell her what kind of misfortune would fall upon them both.

She was pretty sure it was because the stupid accident in the kitchen a couple of days ago when Princess Cinnamon cut her finger with the cheese grater. If she found out who reported this to the Queen, she would definitely made that rat’s life miserable. That lowlife subhuman would not be able to see the sun rise tomorrow.

Coco approached to Princess Cinnamon, as she looked like almost fainted. Coco wished the Queen would not punish her princess too hard, or else all her effort to make Princess Cinnamon to give up running away would be useless.

“Mother wanted me to get married,” said the princess after she could breathe rather normally.

Coco almost choked with her own breath. The Queen must have lost her mind. Only a desperate and crazy prince would marry this barbaric princess. Soon her pity took away her anger to the kitchen’s personnels.

“Which prince?” she asked carefully.

“Prince Macchiato. From the Kingdom of Seven Coasts,” Princess Cinnamon answered weakly.

“Oh foreign land! It should not be a problem, shouldn’t it? You have learned foreign language, now it would come in handy,” Coco tried to cheer her up.

“That was not the problem…” Princess sighed.

Oh no. He must be very ugly. Now she would definitely run away. Coco closed her eyes in despair.

“He’s perfect,” said the Princess.

Coco felt like she needs to slap this little weirdo.

“Then what’s wrong with that?” she tried not to yell; she tried really hard.

Nobody is perfect. Princess Cinnamon was aware of that. But this prince was. And she believed that this must be a trap. It would be impossible for someone like Prince Macchiato would need a silly political marriage like this one.

Her first encounter with Prince Macchiato was when she was eighteen. Two years ago when the King of the Kingdom of Summer had his fiftieth birthday, he invited the King from the Kingdom of Seven Coasts. He could not make it because of the small resistance in one of the coastal area, so he sent his second son, the twenty years old Prince Macchiato to give his best wishes.

He was a handsome man, very intelligence and a smart talker too. The King of the Kingdom of Summer spent hours to talk about political situation in the Coasts with this brilliant kid. He favoured his polite manner, and especially how he treated his beloved daughter, Princess Cinnamon.

“This must be a trap, Coco,” Princess Cinnamon ensured her loyal servant who looked frustrated in her confusion.

“Why do you have to overthink this? You like this prince, marry him, and live happily ever after!”

“This is just not what I have planned!”

“The running away plan is ridiculous, Princess. This is the real thing. Take it! Don’t be stupid!”

This servant might need a retraining. How dare she said the princess’ plan ridiculous and telling her not to do anything stupid. Lucky nobody was around to report this outragrous behaviour.

“But that is my dream, Coco,” Princess Cinnamon looked so miserable now.

“You can find a new dream, my Princess.”


“The princess has gone missing!” everybody was in panic mode.

Coco could not find her in her room today when she was going to wake her up for the breakfast practice. Her instinct was to run out and fetch her before she reached the harbour so she could take her back. But now everybody must be looking for her and search on every corner in the city. She must be taking some times to hide.

So what Coco did was packing all her belongings, some gold and silver coins, and food. And pocketed some copper coins as well.

And then went to the King and Queen to tell them what they needed to hear.

Hair Cut


I could not remember when the last time I got my hair cut in a hair salon. All I can remember was that I cut my hair short before I went to UK just because I know that the price for hair cut here was so much more expensive. And yesterday I just proved that this is true.

In Indonesia you can get the best stylist from a well known hair salon, and get a personal touch for your hair for around £30. Here £30 is just a hair cut. Of course you can get cheaper but you have to go to a kind of budget hair salon, a kind of salon academy which in Indonesia would cost me around £2. I went to one of those, and paid for £10. Oh well… That’s why at our first term, Denise always did that for me -_-”

Just because I found split end.

I never had split end since I was in primary school. I had it when I was in primary school merely because I was involved in a swimming club. The heat and the water practically murdered my hair. But I believed I had a perfect hair since then.

Until I coloured my hair. Of course… And according to some girls I talked to, the water here has been damaging our hair since the first drop. They said it caused severe damage and massive hair fall. It also caused the dry skin. And spots.

Why the heck I want to live in the place which make me look ugly? I want to cry every time I see the mirror and the only thing that I like there was only the fact that I am still breathing.

So I’ve been postponing the hair cut session for months. Telling people I needed a hair cut but have never actually gone there for various reasons. I did not trust that bloody £10 hair cut.

I was always picky for this thing. In Indonesia, there’s literally one person that I could trust with my hair. I tried other hairstylist but I would tell them this and that and practically directed them for every millimetre they removed from my head. The fact that my hairstyling vocabulary was so limited made me anxious that it could go so fucking wrong.

But things should be done. So I did what I had to do. And be brave.

And add some extra.

I got my haired retouched with the extra red shade. I mean, if I’ve already been in the salon, why the fuck I had to hold back? Just go all the way, and apparently everything went quite well. Not exactly what I had in mind, but meh… This is good enough. For now

Book Review: The Devil And Miss Prym


Title: The Devil and Miss Prym
Author: Paulo Coelho
Publisher: HarperCollins, London
Year: 2000

The life of 281 people living in Viscos – a remote traditional village, was changed when a stranger came to visit. This mysterious foreigner has brought the Devil to the village and tempted these people with wealth which would help this struggling village to survive its bad time. The catch? They have to commit a conscious evil. Soon, this small village became a  battleground for the good and evil. Who won?
Would the villagers accept the challenge to save their village? What’s this stranger’s motives?

In the author’s note it is said that this book is the conclusion of a trilogy. The first two books are: “By the River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept
“, and “Veronika Decides to Die
“. These three books, Coelho claimed, are the pictures of the battle of the good and the evil which could change someone’s life in one week. I have to be very honest because I have not read the first book, but I have read “Veronika Decides to Die
“, and I should say that this book is so much better than “Veronika”. Maybe just the story itself, maybe the characters, or maybe the style of the storytelling.
What is so interesting about this book is that although the sentiment that was brought up was “good vs evil”, we were not presented with the “hero vs villain” kind of tale. All the characters were described in a detailed and very humanly. Their reactions when they were exposed with fear, sadness, disappointment, and other kind of emotions were visualised in a very light yet elaborated, in a way we can start to understand why these people did what they did.
The way Coelho portrayed the village of Viscos was so amazing you can imagine what kind of village it was, what kind of people lived there, and how life went in this place. It was the ability to evoke the mind of the readers to see what he picture with words.
This book was quite thin, just like “Veronika Decides to Die
“, and could be a light reading if you don’t want to dissect part by part and try to understand the philosophical aspect in it. However, in this thin book you can see a lot of conflicts going on in a really high intensity. The emotion of the readers would be played up and down although you might have guessed how it would end.
Am I going to recommend this book? Yes of course. I would rate it 9/10 – Excellent.


Tiger Mother Revisited: Hey Fatty, Lose Some Weight


“The fact is that Chinese parents can do things that would seem unimaginable—even legally actionable—to Westerners. Chinese mothers can say to their daughters, “Hey fatty—lose some weight.” By contrast, Western parents have to tiptoe around the issue, talking in terms of “health” and never ever mentioning the f-word, and their kids still end up in therapy for eating disorders and negative self-image.” (Chua, 2011)

I took a paragraph from an article “Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior” in Wall Street Journal, which I used a lot for my dissertation. Why am I still talking about this when my dissertation is already over? Well, maybe in a way, I haven’t felt that the dissertation days was over. Maybe I am not yet convinced that I have done all I could, so a part of me was still trying to save a little of memory so when I had to do it again, I could do that better. Or, because it was just relevant to what I’ve been trying to tell Mr Fix It. It’s just a different kind of parenting style, in a different culture.

It’s a bloody cultural thing all over again isn’t it?

So, once more I told Mr Fix It that I need a diet again, because I feel fat. I think it made sense if I said that. Firstly, it’s because I am a girl. Girls generally always feel fat anyway no matter how close they are to the match stick. So feeling fat is permitted. Totally. And secondly, it’s because I put on so much weight since I came to this place. It might be the food, or the lifestyle, but anyway, 10 kilograms is no joke. So yes, I went to the mirror and said the exact same thing with what you saw in the quote above, “Hey Fatty – lose some weight.” Just as what I know what my mum would have said to me if she knew it.

The reaction of Mr. Fix It, however is more or less predictable. I mean, of course it is so unthinkable in this culture to come to a girl and tell her that she’s fat and should lose some weight. But I think my parents have protected me with their own way.

My father once said to me that the world is cruel to women – especially to those who could not meet the standard of beauty which was set from the society. Don’t start to mention the media and advertisement and shit, because if you look back, the standard of beauty was set long before the media plays their role. Media just reflects what people believes deep inside, magnify it, and emphasise the idea. Some people felt disturbed by it.

It is not about the male domination crap as well. Girls can be as cruel as boys in terms of making fun of the fatties – and most of the time, they are even crueler, by what they said, or what they did. And this is what I said that my parents have protected me from.

Some parents have different idea of protecting the kids. Some of them making a bubble for their kids so they would stay safe inside until they’re ready to face the world. Some of them believe that making the kids aware of the reality is the only way they learn to deal with it. It is some kind of mental training, and I also believe in mental training.

What does not kill you makes you stronger. I believe this does not come from the Asian culture, unless of course you’re talking about the Saiyans. However this idea has been practiced for centuries in the Asian parenting style. The Tiger Mother, The Wolf Father, and I believe many traditional Asian (or should I say East Asian?) child rearing philosophy is based on making a solid foundation for the kids so they would be able to do no less than EVERYTHING.

The same with losing weight.

Confidence, and self appreciation doesn’t come free. Complimenting and praising children with no apparent reason would not automatically makes them more self confident than before. Give them something to be proud about, give them something to achieve and win, and the self esteem will follow with the hunger to achieve more. That was the idea. And the path to success is never smooth.

I will tell you a story to support my argument above:

There are two girls in about the same teenage years, studying in a junior high school. Both of them are overweight, and was being avoided by their friends at school because they’re not ‘pleasing to see’. One of them was raised by a Tiger Mother, and the other was raised by the totally opposite kind of mother.

The Tiger Mother told the Girl1, to lose some weight because she’s fat. She made her a diet plan she had to follow, and literally called a fitness trainer to get her on shape. The Girl2, got a hug when she came home crying because no one wanted to play with her, and her mother would tell her that she loved her nevertheless, and that she was a princess and beautiful as she was.

In the end of the Junior High School, the Girl1 finally lost some weight and start making some friends. She learned that the friendships could be fake anyway because those people used to avoid her when she was fat. But she could not care less, she gained social skill and was asked to the prom with her size 6 (UK) dress. Of course, the Tiger Mother would ask her to come home before midnight, but oh well… Girl2, well… she might lose some weight, or not. In American teenage drama she might get someone who can actually see her inside and being asked to the prom as well, but in reality, she did not. She came to the prom alone, or stayed at home with her parents who loved her nevertheless, and watched “Carrie” and pretended to be glad not to go to the prom.

I am not saying that fat is ugly. Every girl is beautiful in their own way (and there are fetishes and alternate beauty too) and I have no right to say what this is better than that. I was talking about the different kind of parenting that some people would not understand. They would think how cruel a mother who said to her daughter that they’re fat and had to lose some weight. I say, nobody would know how it feels to be a tiger daughter unless you are a tiger daughter.

To be honest I took this a little bit too personally. But I hope I got my messages delivered right >_<

Culture Revisited: Common Courtesy


One thing that I could not do very well in life is doing common courtesy. I think some of you might have realised how socially disconnected I am, but my main reason why it is so hard for me to do this is because I realised what’s “common” in common courtesy is not really common. If that makes any sense to you.

For me, it is so hard to distinguish whether a question or a statement was a common courtesy or a genuine thing. For example someone who asked me when I had to leave UK, or when someone said to me something like, “talk to you later” or “see you soon”. In my culture (not necessarily yours) it is something that is expected to be genuine, so I have to answer that question with personal touch, giving details and stuffs, and basically grateful that someone cared enough to ask.

However, as I told you, what’s “common” in one place might not be common in another place. Here, those kind of questions and statements were no more than something you say, and you could not care less with whatever answer. And that annoyed the shit out of me. I could not forgive someone who’s been asking me at least three times about when I would need to leave the country. What the fuck man? I’ve told you it would be in January.

I can understand questions which useless and you could not care less with the effect that might occur as the result of it. For example: “good day, isn’t it?” Or “leaving for work?” Or “how are you, bitch?”

But asking someone something, that for that person is as important as asking about the pregnancy test result, and you don’t really listen to it… Man, you’d better not do that to me.

After a few same shits like that, you are going to lose so much points, as a friend or as a potential lover. Oh yes. The bloody points system.

I do not expect people to remember all the details about me. Doh. I’m not a bloody superstar, nobody needs to know my birthday, star sign, and blood type. But if you don’t want to know those stuff, why did you even bother to ask? It wasted my time. And your time. And wasted the space in the brain to process the syntax of the language which is not my mother tongue. Why?

Common courtesy?

Things that are also annoying me, is the question of, “have you eaten something yet?”. From my mum. I believe she doesn’t really want to know whether I have eaten something or haven’t yet. You know why I knew that? Simply because she did not listen (or care) about the answer. In ten minutes, when the conversation stuck again, she would ask the exact same question.

Now I wonder, if people like me who can’t be bothered to make small nonsense talk just for the sake of it was considered as socially retarded, what would you call people who was so superficially sociable but would never go anywhere with hours of small talk?

Yes I could not be more cynical about this.

It doesn’t mean I could not have small talk with people. Strangers. Ones who used to be strangers and now become friends. But my kind of small talk is not their kind of small talk. I care enough with what they said I fucking remembered those stuffs. I asked because I want to know, not merely because we need some noise to fill the silence.

Same reason why my blog was never that popular. Lol. I am not moaning, dude, I’m just stating a fact.

People bloghopped and commented there with “blogwalk common courtesy” such as, “woow nice post” or “gosh that was deep”, but basically means nothing but a “noise”. All the blog owner can say was, “thanks” (?). It’s different from readers who give a damn with the sentiment presented in the entry. Oh you can tell the difference.

I am not saying that it is a bad idea to do that. In fact, those who left light and unrelated comments like that in random blogs got huge return visits, which is good if you want to boost your blog popularity. In real life, people who can always start a small talk is more likely having the party invitation or just drink in the pub. Or go home with cuties.

I believe that small talk is a social skill that I need to learn anyway. It would be handy in your real life; making networks, making your customers happy, enlarge the friends circle, gain more social experiences etc. Or just simply become less a bitch that I am now.

So, should I start now?

*clear throat*

Hey. What’s up?

Dear Byq: TNSOFT


Regarding my new project: The Not So Ordinary Faerie Tale or TNSOFT, I got some questions from the readers. Of course not all the readers are from this blog, this blog is not THAT popular *Sad*. But I have shown my writings to some of my friends and here are some common questions that came up:

1. Why do you have to make this as a series of Sunday Story?
Well, to be honest I don’t have a particular reason why I HAVE to do that. I don’t have to do that. I just think that it would be good for you and I. The story would take a long time, and I would need time to write and compose the story properly. I don’t want to do the “Indonesian’s sinetron kejar tayang” (on-running TV series) which would basically ruined my well plotted story just because I need to come up with something DAILY. One week is enough for me to make something well composed, maybe not grammatically correct but at least the story would not be cheesy.
And I would want to start a tradition. I remember when I was in Indonesia, I would wait for the sunday newspaper because there would be a page of the short story. I would want to make my readers have something to wait for, something to expect in the weekend, something that relax them. A story.

2. Why a Fairytale?
I know some people thinks that fairytale is for kids. I don’t think so. I think fairytale is the stretch of our imagination; something that you want to believe but you could not. I don’t need you to believe in this fairytale. It is not an ordinary ones :p
I want to write a Fairytale because it was meant to be light, it wasn’t meant to make you think too hard to enjoy the story. It was supposed to be enjoyed and if you want to dissect the story and make a deeper analysis in it, you’re so much welcome to do that. But this story was meant to be a weekend fun. 😀

3. The characters in this story is so much familiar, are they come from the real people? How close this story to the reality?
Of course all characters have their own resemblance in real life. It does not mean it was made from a real model :p But i know why you asked this, it is because you know me in real life, so you know why I write this story 😀
There is a reason why this project is called TNSOFT. It is not supposed to be a total magical, the good and the bad, white versus black kind of story. This is the grey area which has never been exposed in any fairy tales. This is how I bring the magic as close as possible to the reality, the real life when you have to face the moral conducts, life consequences, law and also egocentrism. TNSOFT is about an adventure, family values, exploration, passion, friendship, and well… yeah… if you insist, romance.
Don’t worry, i am not making my semi-autobiography here. I just want to share some fairytale.

4. Are you going to kill someone? (This came from Mr Fix-It -_-‘)
I don’t want to spoil my story, but as Mr Fix-It knows, I like killing characters. So yes, somewhere along the way, someone would die. I just can’t tell you who, how, and why. But it is not going to happen soon. Happy now? -_-”

5. Are you going to sell this story?
Hmm, that is a good question really. You know that I always want to publish a book or e-book or whatever, but I think there are a lot to be considered before I decided to actually sell this story to a publisher, or self publish this story in an e-book. Until then, this is just a Sunday Story 🙂 So, Enjoy!!