I am not talking about phone reception and dial up networking. I know it sounds like it, but bear with me and you know what I was talking about.
Lately some of my friends were trying to reach out for me, and basically tried to reconnect with me. The ones that are in Indonesia tried to talk to me again: si Onyed and si Pleakley, the ones that have never met me before then thought of meeting me. I’m not complaining, but I just realised, that they had one thing in common.
Post break up.
I am not accusing them to be using me as a safety net when they’re falling out of love. And I do not mind to be there to be someone that listen to them moaning while they’re licking their wound. I just realised that maybe… Maybe I’ve done the same to my friends too. Although I believe I don’t actually run and cry for help to my friends, but subconsciously, I might have reconnected with friends only when I don’t have boyfriend.
And I totally understand why.
I don’t know why I can be so understanding. Maybe I’m growing up overnight. Or maybe basically I’m just kind hearted and very understanding person. Maybe I’m just misunderstood so much. Anyway…
I’m using what Mr. Doctor Doctor said about this situation: sometimes when someone went away from our life, and took away with them a huge part of our life, and left a big fucking hole there… There’s a need to feel it with something or more commonly done with someone. Friends, other companionships, one night stands, chatting buddies, hit and run dates, friends with benefit… Whoever.
However… Some people are wiser. So, instead of risking a friendship, or hurting someone that they care about… Or getting an STD, they basically fill this hole with something else: work, study, hobby… Game. Something that is really positive. Game. Killing some troops. Stealing some villages. Game.
Anyhow, I am glad that they’re breaking up. Not that I am happy that now I can set up the Sgt. Pepper Lonely Hearts Club for real, or that I’m glad that they’re single so now I can get them muahahaha. No. I’m glad because they were miserable. The other similarity they had was that they were miserable, and happy for being miserable. And I felt so helpless for knowing that but having nothing to offer to help them.
I’m happy that they have amputated the rotting part of their life, something that have been eating them alive. I’m happy that they still found me and thought I can help the aftercare.
Not that I’m a nice and kind person.
I’m just happy in a weird way.
Not that there’s nothing wrong for being nice and kind. I’m just not that person.
Maybe in a way you can see it as, their breaking up is what reconnect us. Or maybe you cannot see the relationship. Who fucking cares? (Oh you do? Fuck you then).
What I care about was what this reconnection has brought us. It brought back a forgotten friendship. It brought back memories. It brought new step of life and understanding. It showed me different perspectives. It taught me something. It taught me a lot of things.
It reminded me about forgive, and let go.
(Fuck, who just said about forgetting? You! Back there! Forgive and let go, but remember that bastard name, okay! And don’t do the same fucking mistake anymore. D o h. Forget? Fucking noob…)
Okay where was I? Oh. Right. I… Gotta go. I know this entry seems unfinished but I’ve given the points. All of them.