Honesty Is The Best Policy, They Said…


I am a person who value honesty. I know it sounds totally cliche, and some of you might think how bullshit this sounds, coming from a person who hides behind a pseudonym in the internet. But heck, I don’t care what you’re thinking, because in the real world where I am living, I can be brutally honest too. Now I wonder why I don’t have friends. And no single fuck is given today.

Because, honesty is good.

Honesty is good, and I appreciate it. But believing in humanity and human capability of being honest doesn’t make me an idiot gullible bimbo who would fall in the “but I was being honest” trick used by bitches and wankers all over the world. Oh… I’ve been there, and seen everything these people could do to screw good people’s life and now I will share it to the world.

Here’s the story begin.

When I was in the primary school, I always do this same trick to my mother to evade the nasty bollocking I might have got when I received a “lower than Asian parents expected” grade. I would send a note, with a very sad confession in the best paper I could find, with my best handwriting I could do, and if I had the time I would decorate it with sad faces, and a lot of apologises. The letter would be sent to her via my driver who was assigned to pick us up from school to my Mum at work.

Soon my Mum would call me at home, do the big bollocking through the cable, and I would sound very sorry while watching “Cow and Chicken” in the Cartoon Network, and went to play sexy Barbie after she hung up. She would of course do the second part of bollocking when she saw the mathematics test (yes it was always math test), but the second bollocking wouldn’t be as bad as the one she gave me on phone. And it was easier to show sorry face when you’re not so nervous anymore.

But I did those trick merely because I was young and I was so scared to face the wrath of the Asian Mum. It was the most childish thing to do, but I was always being honest. I know that it would save my ass, better than when she found that math test herself and she would chase me and gave me not a bollocking, but a nice buttocks spanking. Sounds kinky? No it wasn’t.

HOWEVER, this is the thing. I never asked my mother not to be angry at me. I know I had a bad score for math test, and even if I have never felt sorry for that I never asked my mother not to nag me. I know that it’s coming anyway, and it’s the risk. Even kids know what risk is, but not for these bastards.

Remember, my dear readers. I love you and all, and that’s why I tell you this for once. If your partner, husband, wife, lover, friends, or whatever say this magic words: “I want to confess, but promise me you won’t be angry.” (with some of its variations)

Then that person is a bloody wanker!

And here are whys:

1. If they want to confess something it means they have done something that you might not be happy about, and they probably have hidden it for some times, or had the intention to hid it. But this reason is a bit feeble, so here it comes the number 2.

2. How the fuck they can ask someone not to be angry about it. Here are some examples these fucktards said (based on real life events): “I want to be honest with you, promise me you won’t leave me after you hear my confession (and the next bit is: I cheated on you three times already)”; or “I want to confess something but please don’t be angry (and the next bit was: I fucked that guy when we were partying and I got drunk).

3. But this is the worse. All of those words are a bloody set up to make you either powerless, helpless, or having a guilt trip. Because their first request sounds like a rhetorical request, and you’re expected to say, “yeah, tell me”, and when you’re angry they will say more or less like these: “But you promised not to be angry.” or “If I had known that’s how you’d react I wouldn’t have told you anything.”

Oh no. Sounds familiar?

That’s the meanest thing a bitch could do to you.

Like I said, I value honesty. But life experience have taught me that some people don’t understand what honesty is all about. It is not only about telling the truth to make yourself feel slightly better, or to evade bigger risk when the mischief was found out and things went out of hand, or to play mindfuck with people. Nope. If you’re really honest with someone, do it because it’s the right mother fucking thing to do, goddamnit! DO that because you have at least a little bit of integrity to admit your wrongdoing, and the courage to accept the bloody risk.

There’s no “but” if you want to be honest with somebody. If you still think of the “but” and shit, don’t say anything. Eat your own guilt, and work better to cover that lies, and redeem yourself in whatever possible way you could do and god forbid you would get caught and mutilated and found in separated bin liner all across the country. God forbid. *LOL but you and I know that god isn’t exist, right?*

Have a nice day, and weekends, because I know I wouldn’t.



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