Monthly Archives: March 2013

28 and Divorced


When I went out with a friend yesterday, we met one of our school friend and he greeted us some common courtesy. Well, I was never close to hime, not close enough although he was well linked to me. His father hang out with mine and we definitely have lots of mutual friends, but I never really hang out with this person. As far as I knew he’s a businessperson, he has a house in the neighbourhood and he was married.


I just found out yesterday that he’s been divorced for 6 months. And was so shocked because I never thought how soon it ended.

Please don’t get me wrong. I have nothing against a divorce. I am pro choice, and definitely pro logic. And from what I’ve heard, none of the explanation made sense to me. Well, not that it matters anymore.

I just wonder.

Why would people want to marry if they could easily break a commitment? The first years of marriage is supposed to be the honeymoon stage, and what happens after it’s over? A divorce? Hey you know what? If you just want a sweet sweet loving and don’t want the house work, just have a boyfriend/girlfriend, not a wife/husband. I mean it.

Nevertheless, this kind of stuff worries me too. While my wedding is getting closer, and I’ve got more and more assured with my decision, could I in the future face the problems, the internal problems which has never occured before? Would he still like this? Would he still love me? Ha…

It reminds me to a song from the beatles which would definitely be in my wedding day: When I’m 64. So to close our today’s entry, here’s the lyrics 🙂

When I get older losing my hair
Many years from now
Will you still be sending me a valentine
Birthday greetings, bottle of wine?
If I’d been out till quarter to three
Would you lock the door?
Will you still need me, will you still feed me
When I’m sixty-four?

You’ll be older too
And if you say the word
I could stay with you

I could be handy, mending a fuse
When your lights have gone
You can knit a sweater by the fireside
Sunday mornings go for a ride
Doing the garden, digging the weeds
Who could ask for more?
Will you still need me, will you still feed me
When I’m sixty-four?

Every summer we can rent a cottage in the Isle of Wight
If it’s not too dear
We shall scrimp and save
Grandchildren on your knee
Vera, Chuck Dave

Send me a postcard, drop me a line
Stating point of view
Indicate precisely what you mean to say
Yours sincerely, wasting away
Give me your answer, fill in a form
Mine for evermore
Will you still need me, will you still feed me
When I’m sixty-four?


Things You’ve Taken For Granted


So I’ve got my internet back. Honestly, I’ve never thought that not having an internet connection would make me feel like I’m living in the most uncivilised part of the world. I mean, I never thought that it could bring me down to the depressed state. Four days without being able to actually access the internet made me feel grumpy and angry, and I’ve never thought it could be like that.

Apparently it is something I’ve taken for granted for so long. When I was in the UK I felt I could access the internet anywhere, anytime. I don’t have this kind of problem before. I never realised how important it was until I was cut off from it and crave crazily, wanting to have some.

And yes, I’ve got my internet back. Not that easily. I am back to the situation where I have to be careful with my quota, and how many hours I could spend with my internet. Remember the USB portable modem I used to use when I was renting rooms with my sister? I’m back to that. Not sure how long I could do with this, but hopefully not too long until the internet in the house is eventually fixed.

However this situation makes me think about other stuffs I have taken for granted. For example: money, freedom, privacy, Mr Fix-It. I never realised how I’ve got so used to them. The fact is that living in Indonesia, at my parents house took everything away from me. No wonder how unhappy Denise and I could be when we had to leave our life in England.

I’m missing all of those stuffs. I’m missing everything I’ve left behind. And as emo as it could sound… I don’t think I could live like this any longer.

Film Review: Rectoverso


Title: Rectoverso
Language: Indonesian (with English subtitles)
Directors: Marcella Zalianty, Rachel Maryam, Cathy Sharon, Olga Lydia, and Happy Salma
Casts: Lukman Sardi, Aca Setriasa, Yama Carlos, Prisia Nasution, Asmirandah, Sophia Latjuba, Indra Birowo, etc.

image taken from wikipedia

Rectoverso is supposed to be anthology film based on the musical album by Dee (Dewi Lestari). Having the tagline “The Unspoken Love”, there are five short stories in this film: Malaikat Juga Tahu (Even The Angels Know), Firasat (Premonition), Cicak di Dinding (The House Lizard in The Wall), Curhat Buat Sahabat (A Chat with A Buddy), and Hanya Isyarat (Only Signals). I was having a difficult time writing this review to you guys, literally. I am afraid I had too much expectation before i watched this film.
First of all, I like Dewi Lestari. I love her books, her attitude and her tweets. But this film did nothing for me. I know, and I’ve heard many people said that this is a great film, and I believe this COULD be a great film.
I’ve seen few anthologies: “Love Actually”, “New York I Love You”, “Paris Je t’aime”, “4Bia”, “4Bia2” and from Indonesia, I’ve seen “Perempuan Punya Cerita” (Women Have Stories). And they are great films. Even 4Bia and 4Bia2, which are horror anthology from Thailand, were greatly produced. I wondered what was wrong with Rectoverso.
I don’t think it was the amount of short stories. Paris Je t’aime had more shorter stories and they could have lots of strong memorable stories. Or maybe the format? Not really. Love Actually also had more or less the same format to this film – where the stories were broken to smaller fragments and stitched together as if it was in one story. So, was it the stories? I still don’t think so, I believe Dee Lestari is a great storyteller and I loved most of her works.
So what’s the problem?
I think it’s bits of everything. It’s not the format it’s how the editor cut and stitch the story which made each of the story never reached the real climax. It’s not the amount of the story but how each of the story was made too slow at the beginning and rushing to the end so they have lost their essence. Instead of digging deep to the issue the story wanted to present, it just literally blurted out what’s in the book without actually interpret the meaning.
It’s a shame that the film has so much potential but as the result it’s “not there yet”. It’s a shame that the film has flooded with Indonesians top actors and actresses but they never had the chance to show off their true talents. It’s a shame that five renowned directors couldn’t bring the best out of this film.
However, I should give the highest praise to Lukman Sardi for his role as Abang in Malaikat Juga Tahu. Actually, this is the only strong and memorable character I could think of in this film alone.
Like what I said, it could be great. But it’s not there yet. Would I give high rating to this film? I am afraid I wouldn’t. Would I recommend this to my reader? I will let you watch, with a warning: “do not expect too much”.

There’s Always A Reason


I was in Jakarta, for example. And when I got back to Solo, the internet wasn’t really helpful, for another example.

Wanting to blog actively again, and actually doing it are two different things, apparently. It is so easy to find a reason why I couldn’t blog. Of course, having problems with my phone is one thing. I used to be able to blog with my phone, but now it’s almost impossible since my phone crashed when I opened my wordpress for blackberry. Tried to upgrade my blackberry but now I couldn’t even connect my device to my computer.

And I do really need a new computer. This one is no longer compatible to do stuffs. All I can do with this computer is basically write, and access lighter software. I wouldn’t be able to work with stuffs like photoshop or stuffs like that, and that’s not really good. One thing that I could be grateful for is that I can still access porn with this computer.

Although it seems to be a lame reason for not posting my blog, but bad internet connection is one of the worst. I can access the blog, barely. It’s killing me when I was doing video call with Mr. Fix-It, and suddenly the connection dropped. Long distance relationship is hard enough without having to deal with this kind of trouble. Luckily, I’ve told him before about the internet connection in Indonesia, so when he had to see my face crazily pixelated when we were talking he knew.

My sisters, my brother and I are going to go for a new blogging project. Hopefully this project will last like this blog, although we’re not sure how active the blog would be. Basically the four of us will post in that blog together. How cool is that? Well, Mr. Fix-It said it was going to be awesome, and I am sure it would. Will come back to you with the link once it’s done.

Anyway, I’ve told my father about one of the websites made and ran by Indonesians businessman. Told him I saw them developed from a very small website to a large business. He told me to go make one like that one. I wonder how could he say that so lightly. I used to tell him that I want to work online because I’ve seen a very big prospect in it, and he wouldn’t believe me. Now when he saw one on telly, he said I could have done it long time ago. As if websites doesn’t need to be maintained.

However, I know myself, I don’t have much commitment with what I am doing. The only constant thing I have is this blog. I am so proud this blog is going to celebrate its third anniversary 🙂 Of course it means I have to keep myself active and write stuffs.

I have a question… since I am now back to Indonesia, should I change back writing in Bahasa?

A New Phone… Not!!


Before I went home I had a plan to buy a new phone. Of course the fact that the blackberry I bought in the UK was locked and couldn’t be used in indonesia was a bit of coincidence, a good one. Or so I thought. As the result, just before the Chinese New Year, I’ve acquired a new white blackberry dakota in my hand. I was a happy bunny.

But not for long.

I don’t need too much time to realise there was something wrong with the phone. It was okay when I use it at home with wi-fi access, but when it has to “compete” with other devices to get a mobile network and blackberry internet service. It sucked. Big time. And that was only an understatement.

That device was more or less useless outdoor when you cannot access any wi-fi. Not only the internet service was disabled, you can’t even use the basic use of phone such as texting and calling. And for goodness sake, for someone in a bloody long distance relationship with someone else who has 7 hours time difference, keeping in touch is a necessity. So I had to use two phones, one to make sure I received whatever information I needed to know, and my pretty dumb phone to do the other job while wi-fi was around.

So I told my mum that I might need to change that phone to another phone which can actually work. And she said yes. So for awhile I was living with a hope that somehow I would end up with a white iphone 5. And when that happen, it would be the only time of my life I actually buy a very expensive phone. So… I waited. And sold my stupid phone.

And mum said… I should wait at least two months to get my new phone. You might ask why, and I definitely have had the answer already. Apparently the new phone was the free phone she would get from the bank for her signing of a new saving plan. Now that makes sense.

So new phone? Not really… _

Now I had to spend a little to unlock my old phone, and thank google for that I could get a phone which is working for awhile. On the bright side, this geeky stuff I did last night apparently is considered hot for some people; and one of those people is Mr. Fix-It. Yay for me for looking geeky.

Apa Kabar, Biscuit Gothic-ku?


Of course if you don’t speak Indonesian, especially if you don’t have slight understanding in Javanese language, it would be hard to understand the joke. We like to make acronym for everything, like batagor for baso tahu goreng (fried tofu-meatball), or cireng for aci digoreng (fried tapioca). Sometimes it meant to be funny, but most of the time it isn’t funny that it becomes funny because of that. Gothic biscuit is one of them. Gothic for Gosong Sithik (slightly burnt), was kind of my invention and I can’t say I am proud of it.

However, I am glad I made those biscuit.

So yesterday I planned to make biscuits. The last time I made one was when I was at Mr. Fix-It house, and we decided to go sweet tooth. I don’t eat sweet stuffs that much, but I could eat lots of sweets when I was with him. I will try to stop being mellow because I don’t think anybody would want to listen to me whining about how I hate having a long distance relationship. So, back to biscuit, shall we?

Actually, I have asked Mr. Fix-It about the biscuit recipe we usually use to make our biscuit, however I lost it. And when I was out buying ingredients, he was busy working (or sleeping – I forgot the time difference). So I just browse online the closest one to our recipe.

It was fun though, even if it’s different from how it feels when you do it with someone else. I enjoyed doing it. It was a great stress relief, although later on when the result came out it wasn’t exactly what I wanted it to be.

So I divided the batter into two. I mixed the first halves with cinnamon, following Mon’s request, and the second halves with a bar of silver queen almond milk chocolate I found in the fridge. I baked the cinnamon batter for 20 minutes and it didn’t go hard, so I added another 5 minutes for the chocolate ones, and then it became slightly burnt. Then when everything has done, I just realised that apparently my oven was slightly dented! That’s why the biscuits weren’t done evenly!

Oh well, everybody liked it though, even my dad said it wasn’t too bad (he wouldn’t compliment you freely). All my dogs, except Caca loved it too, although we’re not alowed to give them the chocolate ones. Mum and sister said I cheated on our diet plan, and made them ruined theirs. Well… I was just relieving my stress with baking and help them relieving stress with eating… for me it’s mutual :p

So my dark, gothic biscuits have been eaten half when I left it at my parents’ bedroom last night, and I haven’t checked it again. Hm… was thinking of making another batch, should I?

Film Review: Habibie Dan Ainun


Title: Habibie Dan Ainun
Language: Indonesia
Director: Faozan Rizal
Casts: Reza Rahardian, Bunga Citra Lestari, Tio Pakusadewo, Ratna Riantiarno

taken from Wikipedia

When Rudy Habibie came home to Indonesia to get himself recovered from tuberculosis, he met his middle school mate, Ainun has transformed into a very beautiful woman. So he decided to approach to this popular lady, against all odds, marry her and take her back to Germany, to continue his study and work as an engineer.
Rudy’s dream isn’t easy, to build an aeroplane for his beloved wife and to serve his country. While Rudy was trying to get her dream come true, Ainun had to bury hers as a pediatrician deep down inside to devote herself to her family and marriage.
After 1959 there was a big changing in Indonesia’s government. Rudy was called back to lead the project to actually build an aeroplane. Rudy’s clean career brought him up to the cabinet and trapped him to the politics. However, the devoted wife, Ainun was on his side all the time, to remind him what’s good and the dream they pursued, so they kept on the right path of life.

Honestly? I only watched it because my sister said, that her friend said, it was good. And I just want to know what’s good because I haven’t seen Indonesian film for ages. And I was a bit skeptical when I saw the production house. It has been well known for producing crap films. I was worried that they would ruin such a beautiful love story into a pile of crap. They haven’t. Thankfully.
Apart from the annoyingly crass and obvious advertisement of some squash and biscuits, the story itself was well built. Well, there were some occasional blunder which made the scene looked a bit silly, but that was forgiven for I think the producer wasn’t so experienced to transfer a book to a film. Of course, taken from a real story, from a very famous and beloved public figure in Indonesia, which had been published in a best selling book, the producer couldn’t go wrong. I know nothing about cinematography so I would keep that opinion to myself.
What surprised me the most was Reza Rahardian’s act. When I saw him in the cast line up, I thought… That couldn’t be right. I am so sorry but Mr Habibie, with my due respect, couldn’t be that cute. However he could portray our 3rd President in a way we can see the real B.J. Habibie in him. So I thought, hey he could be a character actor. I would like to see him in another (quality) film again.
Bunga Citra Lestari was fine. Of course she always good in any film, but I think she’s just an eye candy in this film, so any guys who’s being dragged to the cinema by their girlfriends could find a little bit of relief by seeing this beautiful familiar face. However she wasn’t that good. I think the character is too heavy for an actress in her level. I am afraid she couldn’t complement Reza’s exquisite play.
Another surprise in the film was the occasional real footage which remind me of “The Queen”, and “The Fourth Kind”. I think inserting real footage in a film is a little bit dangerous. Not only because the real footage might have been shot with different camera, which usually have lower quality than the camera used for making film, they could be inserted in the wrong place and ruined everything. Thankfully, not this time. And I appreciate this “adventurous” attempt to make the film as real as possible.
Do I like this film? I do. My sisters and I were crying, and the last time we cried in the cinema was either “The Three Idiots” or “Toy Story 3” (couldn’t remember which one first). Anyway, this would worth your money. If you have missed it at the cinema, buy the original dvd. Support Indonesia’s film industry :p

Your Body Is Your House


I’ve heard many times people said that your body is your temple. I am not sure how far the truth in that sentence is, because I have never gone to any temple. Of course basically we need to respect it, clean it, decorate it and all that stuff. But does it also include letting anyone who’s curious and wish to find peace in? As far as I’m concern a temple is kind of a public area, and I’m not sure if I wanted to expose my body for public use.

So I think for me, I’d rather use a house analogous to my body. I’d say, my body is my house. It’s private, I’d only let people I trust in, and I’m responsible for things because it’s mine. I will still respect it, decorate it, and clean it, but I can still have party in it, things you might not be able to do in a temple. Does that make sense?

I believe that you are what you eat. Your outlook towards food reflects your perspective towards life itself. If you’re so uptight about your diet, what you eat and when you eat it, you’re a control freak. If you orders everything in the special today’s menu, you’re greedy. If you don’t finish it you don’t know the value of money. If you do finish it, you’re a glutton. If you snack you know how to enjoy life. So and so forth.

You’re also how you represent yourself in public. You are what you wear. You’re HOW you wear what you wear. You’re how you treat your skin, your hair, your nails. You are how you sit, your posture when you’re standing. You’re how you look into someone’s eyes straight, and how you shake their hands.

Taking care of how you look is like maintaining your house. Occasional make over. Change the curtain with the clean one. Sweep the floor and mop it. Wipe the windows and change the dead flower decoration. You can pay someone to take care of the garden or to repaint the wall, but you wouldn’t let the mould eat the beauty of your house. House can be old, but it doesn’t have to look ugly.

But that’s not all. You are what you say. What you blog, twit, or path. You are what you say on your facebook status; do you swear, moan, brag or just mildly share your rant. You’re not however what you let people think you are. But you’re how you do it in life. And I think it’s cool as a part of survival skills.

A person without knowledge is like a house without appliances. It’s still a house but it is not really efficient, so you have to upgrade knowledge like you upgrade gadgets in your house, don’t you?

My body is my house. I do occasional parties, but I clean the next day. I let people who I trust in, because it is not a public domain. I take care and decorate the way it’s acceptable for me. What could be wrong?

Hugo Chavez Has Passed Away


Who’s Hugo Chavez?

Well, if it wasn’t from the news I watched today, I wouldn’t even know who he was. But he’s been the president of Republic of Venezuela for 14 years before he died today. That’s too bad for the people of Venezuela because apparently they loved their president.

It reminds me when Kim Jong Il died not so long time ago. I remember how mournful the people of the North Korea. I don’t want to talk about his reputation in the international world when he was alive, I want to talk about how his people remember him as a leader. And I tried to remember if Indonesia had one like those?

Would it be so harsh if I said that Indonesia is an ungrateful nation? Have we ever really loved our leader? I tried to recall the moment if there’s any national grief like that in Indonesia. I remembered Gus Dur, but thing is when he passed away he was no longer our Mr. President. And I am quite remember how he was brought down by the so called people representative.

It makes me think though…

Is socialism is as bad as what the western world always said? Is it that bad to control people and make things in order? As far as I’ve seen, the people of the socialist country isn’t really in the poor state. They had enough for their life and they’re not being eaten by the capitalism. They’re happy with the state they’re being right now and they’re thankful for the government who bring them this stable life. The government gave everybody the same right for education, healthcare, and everything else, and crime is punished severely because it creates disorder.

Isn’t it that bad if you don’t need politicians trying to approach you with promises we know they’d break anyway? Isn’t it that bad if you don’t have to worry about what’s going to happen up there and live knowing that tomorrow’s definitely fine unless some bastard launched an atomic bomb because their nosey government doesn’t like you because your government doesn’t want to join the so called global market system? Or when suddenly your country’s got embargoed because your government refused to share your land’s resources to those big bullies?


Oh well…

I ranted again. Sorry for that. I should have said my deepest condolence for the people of Republic Venezuela who just lost their beloved el presidente.



It’s been quite a bit more than a month since I came back to Indonesia. What have I done? Well, it’s something between “many” and “nothing”. Let’s say, so much happened, but I haven’t done anything which is practically productive. However, I’d like to announce that Mr. Fix-It planned to go to Indonesia to meet my parents.

Of course I haven’t told you the whole story, but to shorten it: “we’re talking about the ‘M’ word”. How come?? You may ask. Especially if you knew the beginning of our relationship, and if you’re following this blog, the last time you’ve heard about Mr. Fix-It is when we broke up. It’s just… After our break up, he never stopped fixing things in my life.

So what I really need to do now is actually trying to lose a lot of weight, start taking care of myself, and preparing all documents needed. Yes, all of them are essential. Don’t want him to change his mind seeing me porking myself in Indonesia. After all, after giving it a bit of thought, who wants to look like a cow in a wedding dress?

Enough with the mushy stuff, I feel a little bit guilty for not updating my blog. It’s definitely a sin, and I know I have to think about extending the hosting again. Graaah… I might just pay for 2 years later because it’s going to be another busy year and I want to keep this blog alive no matter how slow the update is.

I wanted to blame my internet connection at home, my phone, and everything else technical, however I am not too good at lying. I’m somewhere between excited and depressed, so I’m not too good to write. But hey, I have to write, it will help me, and I know it has helped me years ago. After all, I might want to start money making from blogs and writing anyway. So why wouldn’t I start now?

I think it’s enough for today’s update. I will try, no promise, to update better. Sorry _