Okay, I will admit in advance that somehow it would sound a little bit childish and a little bit ungrateful for some people. But before the judging continues, I would like to explain my situation first.
So when the date of Mr. Fix-It arrival to Indonesia had been set, I have told my mother that the proposition would not be able to be attended by his family. Unlike in the Asian culture, proposal to the bride or bride’s family isn’t done by family representative. So, based on that, I asked my parents not to make a big fuss, as in inviting everybody to come to our house to witness him proposing me. And they promised me no big fuss. I was happy.
Few weeks ago, my mother told me that some of our relatives would come to attend the proposal. I was stunned because I did not expect anybody would come. I asked her if she invited the relatives because I thought she and dad has promised me no big fuss, and she said… Those aunties wanted to come. I was a little bit pissed because I think it is rude to come uninvited, it is as if you are crashing on somebody’s party. It pissed me off even more when my mother told me that they would be there when Mr. Fix-It proposed to my family.
Of course I have asserted my objection. While I was stating my refusal to my parents, they kept saying that because this is my moment, they wanted it to be up to me. How could it be up to me if they had decided things which I have refused in advance?
However, being a very nice and kind daughter, I compromised and told them to forget the proposal and just having dinner instead. I think I have said that about a couple of weeks ago, and my mother said it was up to me because it was me who was going to be proposed anyway. But then she came back to me and said that the aunties wanted a ceremonial proposal in the afternoon.
My aunties, not my mum.
First of all, I never invited them. Second of all, if they have agreed that this should be my moment, why would they meddle so much? I hate their intervention.
I think I have compromised a lot by asking Mr. Fix-It to come to Indonesia and took day off which he doesn’t have much. I think I have compromised a lot by agreeing on a church wedding. I think I have compromised a lot by letting them invite people for the reception. Now a simple request from me, for not having a fucking ceremonial proposal is not granted because my aunties asked so?
Yes, I know that this is the eastern tradition. But don’t forget that I am not marrying an Asian. How about respecting HIS tradition as well? How about not pushing us to the limit of not wanting to even go back to Indonesia EVER after we married? How about leave us alone?
I never wanted to interfere on my cousins’ weddings because I don’t want them to intervene mine. How about don’t hit anyone if you don’t want to be hit? I hit nobody and now I am having a ferocious gangbang.
Dad said, trying to convince me that it is good having them around, “Imagine if you were making a proposal ceremony in the house and nobody cares to come. Wouldn’t you be sad if that happened? Imagine you are throwing a wedding party, and nobody you invited cares enough to come. Wouldn’t you be disappointed if that happened?”
Now those are definitely two different things. First of all, I am feeling dejavu just by saying this, NOBODY fucking invited them. They want to be happy for my happiness, they can just have fun with my parents, and let me have fun with my man. I don’t have to be there, and become the centre of motherfucking attention. Why should I?
I have spent many many years not being the centre of their attention. They were never happy when I was happy with my stuffs. Why should they pretend to be happy now? They never cared when I was with my ex gf, and why should they pretend to care now? I think if I want to share my special moments, I would like to do it with people who were always be there in my worst.
Would I still want to have a reception later?
I think I will just invite my friends to have dinner with me rather than throwing a reception. No. No reception. I have told my mum. And will make that happen. (Or not happen, depends on how you see it)