I don’t know why but some people actually came to me for relationship advice. As far as I know, except for si Onyed and Mr. Fix-It, most of my relationship wouldn’t last more than 4 months. And with Mr. Fix-it, it was never actually a relationship until we suddenly got engaged. So, coming to me to get a relationship advice is probably not the right thing to do.
Dating advice. Hm… I am not got at this as well. I was never be that girl who was so desperately wants to be in a relationship. I never actually went for it. Dating, I believe should be fun and should be burden free. If you go on a date with the intention for a husband hunting, unless you are dating a guy who’s been wife hunting, chances are they would disappear and never contact you again before you’ve got the opportunity to get to the second date.
That was not a dating advice, but yeah sure you could take that as an advice if you want.
So, once upon a time, which was not so long time ago, a friend came to me and basically told me her love drama. Basically she was close to a guy and in the end being left behind. And basically from what I gathered from our conversation she wanted him to miss her, to want her, and if it was possible, to chase her back. I am quite familiar with this kind of cycle. My best friend in Solo has just finished one cycle and apparently is starting another cycle over again.
I called this “The Manga Girl Syndrome”.
The Manga Girl is usually the kind of ordinary girl, living an ordinary life, but inside secretly she hopes for an extra ordinary things to just magically happens in front of her without her has to do anything extra. With this hope she believes she is special, and made for special things, and this would affect her attitude when things happened in the future.
The Manga Girl meets a boy, and fall in love with this boy. At first, she would be “the perfect girl” for the boy. The best friend who would listen to the boy’s problem, the only one he could “share the secret” and contact in the middle of the night, and basically without her ever knowing it she has been friendzoned. But she never knows.
Something happened, sparked tension between the Manga Girl and the boy and they set apart. The boy moved on with his life. The Manga Girl, feeling special, wanted this to end with her versions of perfect endings.
Manga Girl perfect ending 1
She got close to another boy and the previous boy would chase her back.
Manga Girl perfect ending 2
She confronted the boy and told her that she moved on, and made his life miserable
Manga Girl perfect ending 3
Boy suddenly came to her house with a rose on her birthday and said sorry and they would live happily ever after.
Boy moved on. Girl haven’t even moved an inch.
So everytime someone asked me what to do or what to say to their “Boy”, I always said to the “Manga Girl” to stop thinking that they are special. I was not being mean or whatever but quoting Dash on The Incredibles, “If everybody is special then no one is”, and that little brat was quite right, you know? I would usually tell them to watch “He’s not just that into you” film to help them to understand the situation.
Because, as long as they believe that they are THAT special, and they believe that they are different than other girls, they are just the same girl who fell on the same cycle with every single Manga Girl in the world. Because in comic book, boys would fell for the girl who kept pouring him with endless attention. Because in comic book, boys would suddenly realise how he missed the girl who used to be there and suddenly gone. Because girly comic books never actually reveal how glad boys are when you said you have moved on, which for them could be the green light to bring their new crush in front of you and your friends.
The drama would be: “how could you bring that girl in front of me you insensitive bastard!” and the reply would be, “you said you’re fucking moved on, you silly bitch!”
Of course I am generalising. But then again, if you ask me not to generalise your case it means you are still believing that you are special and you are not the same with other girls, and the guy you like is not the same with other guys. Then you might haven’t understand the rules at all….