Paedophile vs Predator


I know that some topics are considered as taboo and it is better not to leave them alone. Forever.

However, there are some topics that are considered as taboo but need to be talked about so that we can get it straight.

So, before you continue reading this, I feel that I need to put a disclaimer that the rest of the article might not be for the faint hearted. It is a bit disturbing for some people and not a very cheerful subject for most. So continue for your own risk. Thank you…

I have been thinking about this since I heard about the little child got sexually abused by her own father not so long time ago. Every time I told anyone about this, their first reaction would be, “damn this paedophile”. And, every time they said that, I always felt that there was something wrong with it. I couldn’t understand what was wrong at that very moment, but the more I think about it, the more I can see what’s not right.

Maybe I don’t have enough understanding about Paedophilia, as much as those who actually learn about this kind of stuff. However, after I read Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov (and also saw the films, the old one and the remake), I started to think that paedophilia (or because of the film thus called “lolita complex”) is just one of many sexual fetishes anybody could have.

Yes, you read it just right. I have just put Paedophilia or the sexual attraction to prepubescent child, in the same category with other paraphilias such as asphyxiophilia (getting sexual arousal by being asphyxiated), Biastophilia (getting sexual arousal for non-consensual sex activity), Coprophilia (getting sexual arousal when it involves faeces), Necrophilia (getting sexual arousal with dead body), or other kind of fetish such as sadism, masochism, Pedovestism, or other complexes such as Oedipus complex, Electra complex, Madonna-whore complex. And so on.

And, I have to be perfectly honest, I see nothing wrong with having sexual fetishes. Therefore, as much as you might hate me for saying this, I don’t see anything wrong with Paedophilia.

Please don’t get me wrong.

I still despise the idea of child sexual abuse. However, being sexually aroused with kids, doesn’t make someone a child rapist, or child abuser, or what I call as child predator. Yes, child predator are usually paedophile. But being sexually interested into something and actually doing it makes a whole lot differences.

You might have an Oedipus complex, but that doesn’t mean you want to bang your own mother. You would find a replacement figure who reminds you of your mother, or you might find someone lot older who could replace the position of your mother instead of perving your mum. You might have a Biastophilia, but that doesn’t mean you would just running around choosing your target to rape. Instead, you could just find a partner who might be a bit masochist who would be more than happy to play a rape-fantasy role play with you.

However, you could find predator in so many different forms, and not always attacking children. It could be a random rapist on the empty street, or a bunch of friends who just had too much alcohol in their system, or a family member who kept sexually harassing you whenever your parents are not around, or the boss or professor who have been using their power to get a sexual gratification from other people. But they are not paedophiles.

And stop calling other people Paedophiles just because they are having a relationship with someone a lot younger than them. Read again what paedophilia is, and unless the other counterpart is a prepubescent child, then it’s not paedophilia… at all.

Of course I completely understand about statutory rape, which is probably what makes all paedophile looks like a predator. Because it wouldn’t matter if the child is consenting, as long as they are underage, it’s a rape. And, I totally understand why the law is made that way. I understand how these children need protection from people who would want to take advantage of their innocence. I get it.

However, there is a fine line between being attracted to something and actually acting to it.

Some men end up with women with childlike features: short small breasted, childish looking, high pitched voice, well shaved genitalia, etc. instead of actually go for a real female toddler. For example.

No… I am sorry, I don’t have a good enough closing statement for today’s topic. I know that a lot of things in this argument are debatable. Go ahead, make your own statement ๐Ÿ™‚ Let’s talk!


4 responses »

  1. I couldn’t agree more. As I remembered, Humbert loved Lolita, didn’t he? So yeah, it’s totally two different things.

    Oh, thank you. I’d put your blog once I’m online from PC. And of course you can do the same with mine ๐Ÿ˜€ And anyway, since you’re using WordPress, I believe you can find my email address on the comment section on Dashboard. I changed my email address from the eralier comments. Drop me an email and we can discuss about this or about any other issue ๐Ÿ˜€



    • Yes he did, or he said he did. Actually, this discussion makes me want to reread the book again. But I did not have the copy since I read one from the uni’s library.

      And yes, Rae I can see your email. Thank you for your trust.



  2. I read Lolita and what I got from the book is that it wasn’t just a fetish for Humbert. Maybe more of an obsession to Lolita but it was definitely more than just the sex. And it’s quite different from the story of the man rapping his own daughter. Well, I don’t have any explanation of why a father could rape his own daughter. The world is going crazy, is probably the better fit answer.

    Oh, may I put your blog on my blogroll, Byq? ๐Ÿ˜€



    • Hi Rae. Yes, Lolita has totally changed the idea of this thing. If you remember when Humbert was married and got divorced, it is not solely about his obsession to Lolita. However i would be more than happy to discuss about this ^__^

      Oh gee… That’s an honour. Of course please do. I’d like to link yours too if that’s okay with you?


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