It is stressful.
I am not sure if it is because of another PMS phase, or because of the long list of stuffs I needed to gather to get my fiancee visa that has made me feel a little bit agitated lately. Honestly, it may sounds a little bit over-dramatic when I am talking about this to other people, but the tension and the pressure to make things worked has got into me too much that it has made me more anxious than excited.
The last few days I have been busied with gathering documents, typing letters, finding pictures, and also reading other people’s experiences about applying for a fiancee visa. It is not as easy at it is said at the UKBA’s (United Kingdom Border Agency) website. You might only see a short list of stuffs over there, and you might think “oh that’s pretty straightforward”, no it is not.
Few weeks ago I went to a travel agency who helped me with the visitors visa to the UK and to Australia, and asked them if they could help me with the fiancee visa as well. They did not even take more than a minute to decide that they could not help. So I asked my auntie whose friend is the owner of one travel agency, who should be very experienced in making visas, and he said that it is going to be hard and you would never know what could happen. So basically he couldn’t help as well.
Few more rejections later, I decided to do it myself, and go through all the required steps to get things done. I went through the world wide web to get more informations about what I should do to get my visa application approved. It is not easy. Really…
What I have learned from the forums for expatriates, the UKBA never gave us an exact directions about what we should give and what they needed to know. They would give us some guidance, and it would be up to us to interpret that and decide which documents should go with the applications to support the informations there. The more elaborate the supporting documents the better.
So when things became really tense yesterday, I had a very bad conversation with Mr. Fix-It.
Mr Fix-It, being a British citizen himself, never understood how someone could be rejected when they applied for a visa. He believes that as long as the required documents is provided and a long elaborated letter explaining stuffs is given to the officer, things would go smoothly as he wishes — because that’s how the system works in the country where he lives. In fact, he does’t need to apply for any kind of visa to enter some countries in the world at all. So, how could he understand that someone could be rejected in visa application?
He could not get that his country could be the worst for the visa application (together with the US and Australia, of course). He doesn’t understand that as one of the main destination for illegal immigrants, his country NEEDS to be a little bit paranoid to make sure only the right person come in. He doesn’t understand that general visitor visa is not the same with fiancee visa, as the former is only visiting visa and the latter is a settlement visa.
And the fact that he couldn’t understand this annoyed the shit out of me.
When I told him that I needed more proofs to assure the border agency officers about everything, he said I worried too much. When I told him that I worried because there are people from other countries that has got rejected because they’ve provided not enough evidences, he said it was probably because the person and the country they’re from were not quite trusted. When I told him that it was a student in the UK University, who came from the US which should be a low risk country, that has got rejected, he said that it must be the person’s background and history.
Why wouldn’t he just agree that it might be because of the lack of evidences?
He said I don’t have to prove myself to the border agency officers. The heck I do.
I am a stranger. A foreigner to the country. I came to stay and to use their resources. Of course I need to prove that I deserve all that.
It is stressful enough to have to do all of this preparation, and it is even more stressful that he doesn’t understand why I was stressed.
However, so far, I have prepared the best I could. I really hope nothing would go wrong with this application because not only the application fee is so damn expensive (considering the ever changing currency rate), but also because I really don’t want Mr. Fix-It to live in a country like this. I could adapt better than he does 😦
I don’t believe in luck, but just for this one… wish me luck.