This year’s Mother’s Day is going to fall on the 15th of March. Unlike in Indonesia where Mother’s Day is celebrated on the same date every year, Mother’s Day in the UK is celebrated on the fourth Sunday of the Lent. Hence, it is also called the Mothering Sunday.
Lent is the 40 days before Easter, that in Indonesia we know it as Pra-paskah. Or freely translated as pre-Easter. The correlation between Mother’s Day and Lent signifies the influence of Christian beliefs in this country. But I am not going to talk about it today, because I want to talk about motherhood instead.
I still don’t want to be a mother.
If that’s what you want to know, I could give you that straight answer.
The closest thing I had of being a mum is when I took care of my beloved Chika. And I think that is more than enough for me.
People kept asking me (usually women) about “what ifs” like: “what if your mum did not want you?” “what if your mum decided not to have children at all?” “what if your mum said that she’d rather have puppies instead of children?”
Well… I always tell my friend not to trust women’s logic, because the expression itself is kind of oxymoron. The answer is easy isn’t it? If my mother did not have me, than I wouldn’t exist. And I wouldn’t write this, because there is no Bybyq, and I wouldn’t feel any different because I wouldn’t even be alive.
My mother wouldn’t feel any different because she wouldn’t lose anything she never had before. My husband wouldn’t feel any different, and probably married to someone else, or not married at all. The history would be changed, but people in it wouldn’t know any different.
How could that make me want to be a mother? How could telling me that, would make me feel that it is important to be a mother?
People kept telling me that one day when I am older, I would start to feel the urge to have baby. How? Because it is natural?
Well I am not that angry any more. I think that the contraception pill, which regulates my hormone, is not only keeping me away from babies, but also from the emotional blow up as such.
I am not belittling the role of a mother. I think mothers like mine are great, and they must have a special gene in the body that makes them do what they do. But telling people to be a mother, when they don’t want to, is not cool. So before I am being really rude, I would rather end this discussion with a simple happy mother’s day for women who have decided to be a mother, and happy being one.
If you’re not happy being a mother, then let’s this mother’s day celebration make you feel less alone, and that what you’ve done count for something.