Monthly Archives: April 2015

Reboot. Reroute.

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I have not been feeling well lately. I have been questioning what I the hell I was doing with my life? Where was the plan go? Why am I here?

It drove me nuts because I did not know the answers.

When I went to the UK three years ago, I went with a plan. I would acquire my degree, and come back to Indonesia to teach, and then go for doctoral degree so that I could apply for a job in UNESCO. That’s what I wanted. That’s the route that I planned. That’s the destination. I had a clear view. I had full control of what I was doing.

Staying in the UK was not my plan. Getting married was never on my list. And then, the skill set I prepared to use to teach in Indonesia, is not needed in this country. What should I do?

I don’t like not doing anything like this. Some people would argue that this might be “the dream” for some women: having a husband who is incredibly understanding with a steady income, a nice place to live, and not having to do anything during the day. But, what kind of life is that?

I started to question my decisions. I started to doubt my destination.

The problem is, I am no longer having the clear vision of how I would live my life any more.

Mr. Fix-It always worried that I might regret my decision of getting married to him. Am I?

Funnily enough, that is probably the only question that I could answer without a slightest moment of doubt. I never regret getting married to my husband. I think it is a great decision.

My problem is, since I have never planned to get married… uhm..

It is like going for a road trip. You turn on your GPS. You set your destination. And, every time you make a detour, or using different route than one the system has designed for you, your little gadget would reroute it for you.

Being married is as if I am going to an unmapped land, and this incredible detour has made me completely out of track and my life GPS could not find the way back to the original route. And I do not like feeling lost, even if I am in a beautiful wonderland. I need to know where am I in my life journey.

Talking about this with my husband did help… So I decided to reboot my GPS, so I could reroute my journey.

I am now applying for volunteering jobs. Of course it is probably not what I want to do in life, but I think it is one baby step that take me away from the “doingnothingness”.

Oh well… PMS certainly does not help.

TTYL

cheers~

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I felt horrible last night.

It was okay in the morning. I could function although I started to feel a little bit uncomfortable, but then… It got worse.

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Chika and I.

I’ve been thinking about Chika a lot lately. Since yesterday was her birthday, I thought of her even more. Watching Castle could not distract me from the thought that if she had not died, she would have been 2 years old yesterday. The thought just ate me up from inside and I felt horrible.

By the time Mr. Fix-It was home, I was a complete useless lump of sadness.

All I wanted to do was sleep, and I started to have an imaginary headache. I mean, I was not sure if I had headache, but I was kind of hoping that it was my head that was hurting, and not anything else. So I asked if he got painkillers, and he gave me some — after making sure I ate something for dinner. I could only manage two slices of toasts but that was better than nothing at all.

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Curious little girl

He asked me if I would like to go out and get some fresh air. I was going to — I had gotten myself ready to go, and stepped outside and suddenly, I did not want to do it any more. So I just went back in and curled up in the sofa. I was no longer functioning by then. Mr. Fix-it went to get some milk from the shop, and asked me if I wanted something from there.

It made me even more upset.

I know that all he wanted to do was to make me feel better. However, at that moment, there was nothing I could think of, that could lift up that sudden sadness attack. I felt like I was in the edge of breaking down, and my husband was there holding me to make sure I would not just bury myself down there.

So when he got home, I just started rambling about nonsense, and cried, and rambled some more. And, curled up in his lap and let him take some of the burden away.

In a second I thought…

Wow this is amazing…

I thought… Wow, he is actually a man-size emotional painkiller.

And then I thought, one day I would be able to talk about Chika without turning on the waterworks. One day, I might even have another puppy.

Today is not that day…

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4 month old Chika, driving to the vet to get registration tattoo

 

 

To Be Or Not To Be… Married… That Is The Question

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I have been thinking about posting this article few weeks ago, but I thought it would be a brilliant idea to post it on the celebration of Kartini Day.

It has been awhile since I posted anything about Kartini or anything related to Kartini Day as it coincided with Chika’s and also Superbyq’s birthday. But anyway…*moving swiftly on* marriage. Yes…

Growing up, I did not have many female friends. I did not have enough social skill to put up with their gossips and whines, and their constant reminder that every teenage girls need make up and diet. It was not easy sometimes, but then I began to have some female friends. Of course, it was never easy to have female friends, I still do not have the extra patience to the gossips and whines, and their constant reminder that every adult women need marriage and children. But I got better at ignoring these remarks.

Up until few weeks ago, when two of my female friends, who seemed to be coming from two different planets, talked about one same thing. Marriage.

One of them, was my childhood friends. It was one rare occasion that I maintained friendship for so long. Just call her Minnie Mouse, not because of her having a squeaky voice, and definitely not because she looks like a rat, but because of her disney crush to Mickey Mouse. Minnie Mouse, was about to get engaged when she told me that she finally broke up with her boyfriend. Well, he was a tw*t, so I did not feel sorry that she broke up with him. I felt sorry because she was sad and broken hearted as she did not want to break up with the dickhead.

She has been in the quest, of finding a husband, because she believes her clock is ticking and she wanted to have a family, and children. She is a typical traditional Asian woman, whose — despite her bright future in her career, her financial stability, her high profile family background, and also her promising degree in engineering– sole lifetime objective is to get married and breed. She has told me again and again that she is not getting younger, and all of our friends have already had kids (she forgot about me), and some of them has even had their third. And she wants it.

https://i1.wp.com/cbs-academic-housing.dk/sites/default/files/family-planning.jpg

traditional family ideal

Too bad she ended up with wrong guys every time.

While the other friend, is someone coming from a closer planet than mine. I have known her for few years, never actually met her in person. She is a blogger too, and if she read this she will know that I am talking about her (or so I hope). Like me, she left Indonesia for study — but while I went north, my friend went down south. Let’s call her the Aussie Badass Chick.

Yes, she might be a couple of years younger than I am, and she kind of reminded me of what I wanted to be when I was her age. Independent, tough, badass. And she posted about marriage too, but from a completely different point of view: she said she does not want to get married. And I believe her.

This is the thing.

I did not want to get married either. I never thought that marriage institution is as important as what is perceived by many people. It is probably promoted in the first place as a population control, and helped with the gene pool. But when people are more educated like now, it is not more than tradition. If you just want to live with the person that you love for the rest of your life, just do it… you can live together in a house, sign the house certificate together if you want to protect yourself from being screwed around, and so on and so forth.

Well, logically speaking, there are some benefits of being married; and they are totally unromantic. First one is social standings. Especially in Asian family, being married means you are given so much more trust as a person, and finally considered as an adult by your parents. You are no longer the child — the lower rank member of the family, but you are the queen of your own sovereign. Your parents would be seen as successful for being able to marry you off, not only congratulated for being able to get rid of you. Your opinion would started to be considered in the family meetings, and you suddenly have the rights, and even encouraged to be a bitch.

The next one is the more important one for me: the legal status. Not for your children, but for you. It does not only mean that you can sue the shit of them if they are cheating on you. It is not only about the financial security either. It is about how the law in the country see you as a family. If one of you are in the hospital, they cannot visit, or take decision for you if they are not legally registered as your family/partner. If you adopt children together, only one of you can be their parent, because you are not legally a family, and a child cannot legally registered to two guardian family (and if you split up, one of you will definitely lose the custody).

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/celebritynews/2962449/Star-Trek-actor-George-Takei-weds.html

George Takei (Sulu) and Brad Altman wedding… After 20+ years in relationship

And this is why the LGBT group wants the gay marriage to be legalised — just to answer people who insisted that if gay people wants to live together they could just… do.

And the third one… is freedom.

Majority of people would not see marriage as freedom. Instead, they believe that being married means you are being chained to a rigid institution and shit. I agree with them too, but I must point out the other side that they failed to see.

Women from eastern culture are tied down to her parents (her parents’ house, her parents’ family, etc.) until they are married, and have her own family. For some people, marriage is a way out from their parents’ house. Like Kartini (now you see why I chose this topic to be posted today, yes?) who agreed to marry a man who was way older than she was, just so that she could get out from her father — who denied her education because she was a girl. And use her new social standing as a married woman to do what she wanted to do — build friendships with foreign correspondence (hence her letters were made as a book), and got educated.

https://i0.wp.com/upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/f/f9/Raden_Adjeng_Kartini.jpg/640px-Raden_Adjeng_Kartini.jpg

Kartini with Djojodiningrat “Raden Adjeng Kartini” by Original uploader was Meursault2004 at id.wikipedia. Later version(s) were uploaded by Ennio morricone at id.wikipedia. – Transferred from id.wikipedia; transferred to Commons by User:Manuguf using CommonsHelper.. Licensed under Public Domain via Wikimedia Commons – http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Raden_Adjeng_Kartini.jpg#/media/File:Raden_Adjeng_Kartini.jpg

If anyone ask me if they have to get married, my answer is “definitely not”. No one can tell you to or not to marry anyone, if you want or do not want. The pressure, the thought of you are getting into the age you would no longer marriageable, would make you jump to the first person come to you, which lead you to the date wrong person… again and again. Have you not learn anything from How I Met Your Mother?

If anyone asked me if they need to get married, I would ask them why. Why do you want to get married? Do you think you cannot have sex if you are not married? Well, you can. If you feel guilty, ask forgiveness. If god is so forgiving he would absolve whatever sin you did or will do in the future.

If you think you cannot have children without being married, you are wrong. In fact you can have children any time you want: pick one from the foster houses.

Basically, the traditional justification of marriage is not applicable for me. But, if you want the benefits of marriage I just mentioned above, go for it. It came with responsibilities too: means they can sue the shit out of you if you cheated, means you might have to face the custody battle if you split up, means you would no longer receive red envelopes full of money from your parents during the Chinese New Year *broken inside*.

So,

Happy Kartini Day, my dear friends.

Cheers…

Book Review: Shame

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Title: Shame
Author: Salman Rushdie
Language: English
Format: Paperback

Review:
I have heard Salman Rushdie since I was a very young girl. Of course in Indonesia, it is almost impossible for me to come home with a copy — but I did not understand why. So while I got the chance to lay my hands on one of his books, I chose this one to start with.

Shame is a story revolving around a man named Omar Khayam Shakil who has three mothers and no father, living in a politically unstable fictional country. The story is narrated by an anonymous character who has never introduced himself to the readers, yet somehow it is not important as he has no involvement in the story itself.

It is just interesting since the beginning, but it became even more interesting when the anonymous character started to throw in clues about how similar the fictional country and cities in the story is to Pakistan and its cities.

For someone who has been completely blind about the political and military history in Pakistan, the story is such an epic journey to follow. Of course it would be highly exaggerated. After all, it is a fiction. However, the way it is written, the dark and gritty humour that was meant to be satire — has pushed the boundaries of political fiction, which some groups of people might find offensive.

The book is deep and critical, and mock so many things believed by some particular communities. It provoked the thoughts and made people questions, while at the same time never cease to entertain me as a reader.

I would have to say that I really love this book. This has everything I would expect to read in a socio-political fiction. It successfully portrayed the cultural movement, the political condition, and the social situation in details without converting into a university textbook (not that the university textbook is boring or something…)

This book deserves the rating of 5 out of 5 stars. I would recommend this book to anyone, especially those who are interested in the socio-political situation in the Middle East.

Tataa Chubby is Why…

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Gosh… It happened.

A young girl was found dead in her own rented room. When she was found, she was not wearing any clothes, and a cord of wire were found strangling her neck. From the investigation, it is suggested that she was an online prostitute, and has been working in the sex industry since 2010. She marketed herself (independent female escort — no agent), via twitter under the user name @tataa_chubby, and apparently was quite popular among the clients.

The murderer was one of her clients.

What a surprise.

I understand that there would not be much sympathetic reaction out there. The fact that the homicide victim was a prostitute made this crime story depicted differently in the media. Instead of sad soppy story about how hard her life was, or how beautiful and kind she was, the media posted her sexy photos — emphasising that she was dead “in the line of duty”.

The story would be so much different if the murder victim was a young university student, robbed and raped in her dorm room, or an executive woman in her own apartment. The media would put the best looking, the most modest, the incredibly angelic photos of them, or even the grieving family (just for the sake of it)– not that there is anything wrong about it. I am just saying that we are living in the culture of double standard and fake morality.

https://i1.wp.com/media.suara.com/thumb/650x365/images/2015/04/12/o_19imtof8et51e9insh33ohera.jpg

Sie war eine schöne Frau… Photo of the late Deudeuh or as known as @tataa_chubby. Image was taken from suara.com

Some of the non-sympathetic would condemn her for being a victim of her own sleaziness, her own stupidity, and even tell everyone else that this is the punishment for her sin for being a slut. Some other would say nothing more than: “what a waste. Sie war eine schöne Frau.” Some bigoted bastards would even seize the opportunity, and use this moments to claim that it is time to fight prostitution — for endangering women’s lives, and drawing men to temptations and murder.

What… The…

*inhale* *exhale* *start the anger management therapy*

Okay…

Prostitution is probably the one of the oldest professions in the world that survives until today. And there is definitely a reason why it survives after thousands of years.

When we were on vacation in Turkey, the guide showed us an old… very old scribble in the stone in the ruins of Ephesus. He said it is the first known written advert for a brothel in Turkey. Yeah… how cool is that? The symbol of heart means “Love”, and the symbol of left foot means “your left”. So it basically if you want to find love, turn left…

find love in Ephesus

Since some idiots did not know how to separate religion from the state, what had been sin then became crime, and prostitution became illegal. Banning prostitution is like sweeping dust under the carpet. You could not see it, then you pretend it was not there. The government thought if they make the life of the prostitutes like hell, they would stop working in sex industry.

The reality is… they would not.

As long as there is someone who pays for sex, there will be someone who supply for the demand. That’s the law of economy, which is apparently much stronger than the law of god.

So did you remember when I said how stupid it is to close down Dolly?

Tataa Chuby is why…

There are hundreds and hundreds of horror story about men and women working in sex industry. Girls… Teenage girls got killed prostituting themselves using craiglist (the same way Tataa Chubby used twitter as her way to advertise herself to the potential clients) in areas where prostitution was illegal. While in places where it is legalised but controlled by the government, prostitution works through agencies — which provides the girls with safety, transports, and anonymity.

Girls like Tataa Chubby would have networks, shared informations about which clients should she avoid. They would meet a properly screened clientèle, in a safe environment. Their sexual health, their mental health would be in check. They would even pay tax, as they would be open that they are earning money, how and how much they earn (because they were not condemned as the parasite of the society, or the outlaw).

Now the police said he would start hunting down online prostitution on twitter as well. Oh remarkable..

*rolleyes*

Now you know that there is an online platform for prostitution, and you say publicly in the media that you will start hunting them down. Do you think the prostitutes are all idiots? Of course they would now change platform and close down their bloody twitter accounts…

Argh…

I better finish this here before I rant more about this and ruin my happy morning.

 

Auf Wiedersehen. Bis später.

Bybyq Goes to Indonesian Embassy

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My passport is about to expire, so I had to get a new one. After a very discouraging phone call to the Indonesian Embassy about a week ago, I felt a little bit doubtful that I would want to see those bureaucrats. However, since I do not have much time left, I decided to pursue this further by going there by myself. I followed the information I gathered from the phone call, and also from the official website of the Indonesian Embassy, and bring the documents asked: my passport, 4 passport photos 4x6cm red background, postal order to pay for the service and also a special delivery envelope.

It did not start well. The bus I took for the journey was 30 minutes late. Mind you that the passport service only opens from 10.00 – 13.00, and god knows how long the queue and the process would take. I had a day trip return ticket, I did not want to come home empty handed. Have to admit though, the anxiety too the best of me for awhile… luckily Mr.Fix-It was with me (he is on holiday).

Good job we knew where we were going, as we went to the Indonesian Embassy last year for the election, that we did not waste time running around finding our way. In the embassy’s reception, we were sent downstairs. Contrast to the one upstairs, the consular’s office downstairs is a dingy, hot, and slightly manky. There were only two officials there, one that was busy talking to visitors, and the other one who was doing god know what behind the desk. No matter how long the queue was, the one behind the desk would not move his arse to help.

Maybe it was his job description. I do not know.

Anyway… I got served, and he gave me more documents to fill in. It was not a biggie, there was a telly that kept my husband busy while I wrote my name 4 times, my UK address at least 6 times, my Indonesian address at least 6 times, my phone numbers at least 10 times, and sign those papers before handing them back to the man behind the glass window.

What’s not surprising me is that apparently the information in the website is not accurate — except the payment method, and I had to go to TWO different shops — very specific shops to get another passport photos and a prepaid special delivery envelopes (nobody says anything about PREPAID envelope in the website, if you bother to check the website again).

Anyway, I did not care. I just want my passport to be done, so that I could start applying for the visa I need to visit THE wedding in Germany this summer (hopefully my German would be good enough by then… so excited). I did not even care if my photo in the passport would look like a war refugee because I was so tired and angry for the treatment I got from the public service officials in the embassy (and the fact that those photos would stick there for the next five years).

I am done ranting… I just hope I do not have to deal with the embassy’s officials in the near future.

Cheers…

Hallo! Ich heiße Bybyq

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Yes… yes… Ja!

I am learning Deutsch.

This is the thing… I have been thinking of learning a new language since ages ago. I even put it in my bucket list. So, since now I have plenty of time to use, why not start to learn? There is no better time to do this, is it?

You might ask “Why Deutsch?”

My answer is “Why not?”

I know that many Indonesian people I know (unless they work or study in Germany) would choose to learn Spanish or French first. I think those languages are awesome — Spanish is one of the most largely spoken language in the world, and French is… French. If I have got the opportunity and enough memory space in my brain, I might learn both, plus Japanese and maybe Chinese (for the practicality) too. However somehow — maybe because I do not like following the mainstream, I started to develop interest in Deutsch, especially after I know Haris.

Being multilingual is an advantage on its own. It is always fascinate my husband, who only speaks English that I could speak in at least two languages… fluently. If I threw in Javanese or Sundanese into the mix as well, then I would be regarded as trilingual. But for us, Indonesian, being trilingual is apparently not that special. Look at this…

http://www.wowshack.com/indonesia-ranks-as-the-top-trilingual-country-in-the-world/

Thing is… understanding Bahasa Indonesia, and Javanese is not really practical in real life, especially if you live in this part of the world. It is not as impressive as it sounds…

So, hopefully if I go to Deutschland this Sommer, I could at least have a simple conversation with the local people without relying too much on the dictionary. And, forgive me if I kept throwing in Vokabeln in Deutsch. I think that is the least I could do to improve as I don’t have conversing partner that could help me with the learning…

So,

Auf Wiedersehen. Bis später.

Stupid People Talk About Alcohol Banning… Again

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This is why I do not do blog walking lately. Yes it has taken me to great blogs, and introduced me to some great people, but ninety percent of the time, I would end up reading nonsense. Oh well, it is a pay to price for the freedom of speech in the internet…

Apparently one Indonesian blogger is being grumpy that the Governor of Jakarta, Ahok is going to let little supermarket to sell alcohol. She did not say why exactly she was unhappy about it, nobody asked her to buy that bloody alcohol. She could be a teetotaller if she wants but why she would not let other people choose life of their own? Oh, maybe she has completely brainwashed by the totalitarian regime, where she could not have the luxury of freewill.

“Wakil Gubernur DKI Basuki TP” by Goverment of the Province of Jakarta – http://www.jakarta.go.id/english/uploads/files/Basuki_Tjahja_Purnama.jpg. Licensed under Public Domain via Wikimedia Commons – http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Wakil_Gubernur_DKI_Basuki_TP.jpg#/media/File:Wakil_Gubernur_DKI_Basuki_TP.jpg

I do not know.

Ahok is probably the closest to Jose Mujica, that Indonesia could get. Open minded, people oriented, and has a straight logic that no idiots would understand. When Jose Mujica, the celebrated leader of Uruguay decided to legalise marijuana, people questioned his motives. But he did it anyway, because he could not let his people live in the mercy of the drug dealer. Having marijuana controlled by the government makes it easier for them to limit the usage, and helped those with the addiction.

“Pepemujica2” by Roosewelt Pinheiro/ABr – Agencia Brasil [1]. Licensed under CC BY 3.0 br via Wikimedia Commons – http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Pepemujica2.jpg#/media/File:Pepemujica2.jpg

What about those who do not want to try or use marijuana? They simply do not buy them.

This is what Ahok wants to do with alcohol.

How many times I have said that banning alcohol would only benefit the black market merchants, and alcohol bootlegger. People would buy it anyway, buy they would buy the uncontrolled alcohol products which are potentially dangerous, and the seller would earn without paying tax. How many times we have to explain to these stubborn cretins that regulating is the better way than banning completely?

What makes me feel even more annoyed is that they always justify themselves with religious reasons. Keep telling people that in their religions they are not allowed to drink alcohol. LOL, if they only knew that in Turkey (renowned as an Islamic country, opening up the border for lots of Syrian refugee) you could see alcohol everywhere, just like you could see mosques in every corner of Istanbul. Nobody would force anyone, in the name of religion, to do whatever you do not want to do, to wear what you do not want to wear, OR not to drink what you want to drink.

They have a simple rule: you do whatever necessary for you, god would be the judge in the end of the day.

Or if you want to keep it a little bit more complicated you can follow what the Malaysian do. If you want to buy alcohol, you would have to be able to prove that you are a non-muslim — otherwise you will be persecuted as you are violating a law. Is that not the true concept of sharia law? — that the law itself is only applicable to the people who believes in it? Or is it just an excuse made by a bunch of apologetics liberals who wanted to soften the actual brutality as suspected by many?

Anyway, Malaysia is also an Islamic country, they are just next door in the neighbourhood — maybe it is make it easier for you to compare. They sell booze in the store (but only non Muslim can buy), they sell pork in the street (you don’t even need an ID to buy one), and they have a casino for people who gamble. What they don’t have are a bunch of dickheads who kept blackmailing the government for not enforcing sharia law to people who don’t believe in it, or terrorising the citizen by forcing them to close their business during Ramadan month, OR, threatening people with different beliefs by destroying their church.

http://www.ecumenicalnews.com/article/indonesian-police-pledge-to-curb-violence-against-religious-minorities-27490

The less violence photos I could get….

http://hidupbiasa.blogspot.co.uk/2012/02/for-indonesia-without-fpi.html

… as it’s usually looks like this. taken from this article: http://hidupbiasa.blogspot.co.uk/2012/02/for-indonesia-without-fpi.html

So much for Pancasila country.

Yeah…

There’s no limit to human stupidity, and I know that. I have been reminded by many of my friends not to underestimate the power of idiots in large number. Fortunately, I am not anywhere near those people right now, so I should raise my glass (with a incredibly tasty irish cream in it), and tell the world…

cheers!

Every Pot Has Its Cover

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One great thing about learning a new culture is that as if you are given a box of new toys, and it is up to you to start playing with which one first. For me, it’s definitely the wisdom in words, the old sayings, the idioms, and the expressions that has attracted me the most. “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything” was one of them. And another one is this…

Every pot has its cover.

I was reminded of this when one of blogger friends posted about how different she is from her girlfriend (if you want to read it, you can find the article here). I tried to find out its origin, but it seems that there are various version of pot-cover analogy. Some said it like that, some said “every pot has a lid” or “there’s a lid for every pot”. It does not really matter, does it? It still means the same thing.

Basically it means that for everybody, there is a match. I do not know if it is strictly about romantic relationship, or if it is also applicable for other things such as friendships, or work environment, or even to a broader spectrum of hobbies, or jobs… I would love to think that it is more than just romantic relationship.

But, today I do not want to talk about anything deeper. I just want to do what Kopi has done — contemplating the relationship, to see how far Mr. Fix-It and I has gone by resolving our differences.

1. He piles up dirty dishes and washes them later at once, I like doing them right away after meal. This is probably one of the biggest and might be also the earliest difference we found in the beginning of our relationship.

2. He lets the washed laundry stays in the washing machine, and not hang them in the drying rack right away; I like smelling the fresh laundry hung in the drying rack so I put them up right after the washing cycle is done. It is still one of the regular yappy-grumbly thing in our household.

3. Growing up in different cultural backgrounds makes us think differently about “future security”. In Indonesia we grew up believing that “pensions” is how much we could save for the future, not that someone (government) takes care of it for us when we are old. But, I managed to make him see the importance of the financial security, and we are working on it.

4. We have different view about starting a business. I am optimistic that in this country where everything is already well established (no corruption, no sly unfair competition), it is much easier to start a business than in Indonesia. Mr. Fix-it believes that there are more opportunities in Indonesia. This one, we agreed that both of us are correct… no business without risk.

5. We have different political view, but again I think this is also because we were raised with different value and understanding about class system. We also have different idea of NHS, benefits system, and UK – EU relationships. We agreed to just keep it that way,

6. He believes in tact. I believe in tactics. Not a big deal in this one, it’s interchangeable.

7. I think I am getting fatter, he does not. Then again, the standard of how fat is fat is not the same here in the UK and where I came from in Indonesia.

8. I like a good discussion, he likes intricate debates. But then again, culturally there are lots of British gentlemen that love to make arguments just for the sake of it. Sometimes, I went for it and give a nice counter arguments, but when I am not in the mood, I just left it hanging until next time I have the mood for a debate.

Uhm…

I was meant to write ten differences but I could not find anything more. I could push it with saying that we have different taste for girls, books, and musics. I could also add our different attitude towards travelling. But I think those I just mentioned were too trivial.

The thing is — in my kitchen, some of my pots do not have lids, and some of my lids fits for different pots. It does not mean I do not believe in monogamous relationship, but I think some people has different attitude about pots and lids. Some would rather settle for the slightly too big or too small lids than not having any lids at all. Some don’t mind sharing its lid with other pots. Some do not need lids.

Some pots cracked first, and the lids have to find other pots with food to protect. Some lids are not so lucky, and got thrown away once their pots were no longer usable.

I think somehow in life, that’s what happened.

Some pots REALLY wants to have lids, they pretended that they cannot see how unfit the lids are, until things inside them spilling out because the lid could not cover them any more. But that is how some pots ended up with the wrong lids. Some pots and lids were just good together although they were not manufactured together, somehow they just found their way together — looks odd an sometimes a but quirky in the surface, but they are compatible for each other.

I will leave it here… I think it is just nice not to have to draw any conclusion once in a while and let the conversation just go.

Have a nice day.

Cheers

365 Days of Wedding Proposal

Standard

When I found the link on my facebook feed, my reaction was… Aw shit. I felt even worse when my curiosity got the better of me and I clicked the link to see what the fuss was about. I am not going to torture you and your internet connection by embedding the whole video here, but if you have not yet the fortune to stumble upon this particular video and you would like some, you can click it here.

I am going to just spoil the shit of everything, because I do not think that there was much about the video. But, again, I would give you the chance to just clicked away and watch the video first (if you wish) before you continue reading.

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You done?

Here we go. Basically the video is about a man who wanted to propose his lady, Jennifer. One day he decided, that he was going to make a secret proposal to his girlfriend everyday for a year, from her 2014 birthday, to her 2015 birthday. Some of you who have not yet watched the video would say… aaw, that was a sweet gesture. Well… I do not blame you for doing that, after all the title has got a disclaimer that warned you that this video MIGHT make you cry.

I can only make myself watch the first 10 or 12 proposals, then I just skipped the whole year because it was pretty much that. Basically a repetitive question asked again and again, until the last day, on the girl’s birthday, he asked the last question. She basically said yes, because she was probably like that guy enough, and being videoed and all… in public, how could she be a bitch and say no? Shotgun proposal that is.

Anyway…

In the end of the video, I thought I must have been a terrible person for not even a millimetre moved by the video, let alone cry. But the comments restored my faith in humanity… a little. I was not the only one feeling uncomfortable with the video.

Woo hoo…

Personally for me, there are too many things went wrong with the video. Using “Marry You” song in the background killed my patience in the beginning of the video (that was why I skipped and muted it altogether, if I got proposed with that shitty song… well, I would not even date anyone who liked that song to begin with), the annoying “pester power” by asking the same question again and again without actually giving me a reason why I should marry that twat — i mean, if he ask me to marry him 365 times in a year, at least he could give me 365 reasons to do that, and the fact that he did it by surprising her in public.

I hate shotgun proposal.

Putting a girl in the centre of attention, asking her to get married, is HORRIBLE. I tell you.

You are shifting the whole responsibility to her, and what if she did not marry you? Saying no in public and humiliate you will make her a bitch. Saying yes just to save your face and cancel the wedding would make her a bitch. Saying she will think about it will make her a bitch. But actually, you are the irresponsible tw*t who in the name of romance and chivalry thought that your girl is the luckiest girl in the world since you did some effort to propose.

If you think proposing needs efforts, you need to do better in marriage.

There, I said it. I hate that video. I think the 9gaggers proposal video was as bad, but at least it was funny. But of course my favourite was the man who got rejected after buying 99 iphone 6 to propose a woman.

I mean… HOW DO YOU LIKE THEM APPLES?