One great thing about learning a new culture is that as if you are given a box of new toys, and it is up to you to start playing with which one first. For me, it’s definitely the wisdom in words, the old sayings, the idioms, and the expressions that has attracted me the most. “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything” was one of them. And another one is this…
Every pot has its cover.
I was reminded of this when one of blogger friends posted about how different she is from her girlfriend (if you want to read it, you can find the article here). I tried to find out its origin, but it seems that there are various version of pot-cover analogy. Some said it like that, some said “every pot has a lid” or “there’s a lid for every pot”. It does not really matter, does it? It still means the same thing.
Basically it means that for everybody, there is a match. I do not know if it is strictly about romantic relationship, or if it is also applicable for other things such as friendships, or work environment, or even to a broader spectrum of hobbies, or jobs… I would love to think that it is more than just romantic relationship.
But, today I do not want to talk about anything deeper. I just want to do what Kopi has done — contemplating the relationship, to see how far Mr. Fix-It and I has gone by resolving our differences.
1. He piles up dirty dishes and washes them later at once, I like doing them right away after meal. This is probably one of the biggest and might be also the earliest difference we found in the beginning of our relationship.
2. He lets the washed laundry stays in the washing machine, and not hang them in the drying rack right away; I like smelling the fresh laundry hung in the drying rack so I put them up right after the washing cycle is done. It is still one of the regular yappy-grumbly thing in our household.
3. Growing up in different cultural backgrounds makes us think differently about “future security”. In Indonesia we grew up believing that “pensions” is how much we could save for the future, not that someone (government) takes care of it for us when we are old. But, I managed to make him see the importance of the financial security, and we are working on it.
4. We have different view about starting a business. I am optimistic that in this country where everything is already well established (no corruption, no sly unfair competition), it is much easier to start a business than in Indonesia. Mr. Fix-it believes that there are more opportunities in Indonesia. This one, we agreed that both of us are correct… no business without risk.
5. We have different political view, but again I think this is also because we were raised with different value and understanding about class system. We also have different idea of NHS, benefits system, and UK – EU relationships. We agreed to just keep it that way,
6. He believes in tact. I believe in tactics. Not a big deal in this one, it’s interchangeable.
7. I think I am getting fatter, he does not. Then again, the standard of how fat is fat is not the same here in the UK and where I came from in Indonesia.
8. I like a good discussion, he likes intricate debates. But then again, culturally there are lots of British gentlemen that love to make arguments just for the sake of it. Sometimes, I went for it and give a nice counter arguments, but when I am not in the mood, I just left it hanging until next time I have the mood for a debate.
I was meant to write ten differences but I could not find anything more. I could push it with saying that we have different taste for girls, books, and musics. I could also add our different attitude towards travelling. But I think those I just mentioned were too trivial.
The thing is — in my kitchen, some of my pots do not have lids, and some of my lids fits for different pots. It does not mean I do not believe in monogamous relationship, but I think some people has different attitude about pots and lids. Some would rather settle for the slightly too big or too small lids than not having any lids at all. Some don’t mind sharing its lid with other pots. Some do not need lids.
Some pots cracked first, and the lids have to find other pots with food to protect. Some lids are not so lucky, and got thrown away once their pots were no longer usable.
I think somehow in life, that’s what happened.
Some pots REALLY wants to have lids, they pretended that they cannot see how unfit the lids are, until things inside them spilling out because the lid could not cover them any more. But that is how some pots ended up with the wrong lids. Some pots and lids were just good together although they were not manufactured together, somehow they just found their way together — looks odd an sometimes a but quirky in the surface, but they are compatible for each other.
I will leave it here… I think it is just nice not to have to draw any conclusion once in a while and let the conversation just go.
Have a nice day.