Letter… Letters… I Don’t Even Want To Write

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Preface

For the last few entries, I have written (what some people called) heavy subjects. I was thinking of writing something light and cheerful to lift the mood a little. This blog can’t be always gloomy, does it? Does it?

But then a call home and everything changed. I was no longer in the mood because of the news I had heard from home. I’ve been holding this for awhile, and there are not many people in the world I could talk to (especially about this particular matter). Therefore, I decided to write a letter instead.

To My Sister

I’ve been known to write open letters for my siblings. One for my brother when he reached adulthood, another for your (other) sister when she got married. I think it is about time that I write something for you. Unfortunately, this time it is not the joyful moment that brought me to the moment I am writing this to you.

Since we were very young, it’s been drilled in our head that we have to stand up for each other. We are pretty much brainwashed in a way. And, until today I am still doing that for every single one of my siblings. I stood up for every one of you, and will do it again and again. And again. The same way you stood up for your sister when we were in Primary School. Although in the end you cried after that boy clawed your face, you did stand up for her.

You don’t know how proud I was when I heard that from my friend — that my sister who just graduated from kindergarten could confront an older boy and fight him to the bitter end.

But how do you stand up for your loved one, when you know that they’re in the wrong? How do you support someone when you are bitterly disappointed with the decision they took? This… Is something that I’d have to work out.

I remember you and your sister must have endured the same thing when I was dating Si Onyed. I am sorry to put you in such a situation. But haven’t you learned from my mistakes? You are the smartest of us all… don’t you see it now what you saw before? Don’t you remember what you told Si Onyed when she confronted you about why you didn’t like her?

This is what you said: “I don’t have problem with you. But if you upset my mother, or any other people in my family, then I don’t want to have anything to do with you.”

Don’t you think it is safe to say that I might have the same feeling about your boyfriend? That I don’t have any problem with him, as a person. Because he might be a generous, kind hearted, smart and humorous. But don’t you see that what both of you (means he included) did was hurting Mum? My mum. Our mum.

Couldn’t you see it from our point of view that… well well.. If this little request from our parents was refused outright before you two are married, how could we expect him to help our parents when big things happened after you’re married? It is normal to think like that, isn’t it? It is normal to assume, and project what is going to happen in the future, based on what we see today, isn’t it?

I can’t talk to you about this now. But as this has stressed me out for the last few weeks, I feel the need to vent out my feeling here. You might not read this — well… you are most likely not going to read this, but maybe one day it will come to your phone or computer for you to see. But until then… please take care of yourself. I love you.

Your Sister

Bybyq

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