Monthly Archives: April 2017

Gojag Gajeg

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Bulan Mei datang sebentar lagi… dan setelah menimbang-nimbang selama beberapa jam, saya memutuskan untuk mengembalikan blog ini ke Bahasa Indonesia. Apa hubungannya antara bulan Mei yang akan datang sebentar lagi dan keputusan saya untuk mengembalikan blog ini ke Bahasa Indonesia?

Tidak ada.

Sebenarnya saya agak gojag-gajeg juga mau kembali menggunakan bahasa Indonesia di Superbyq. Sudah lima tahun lebih berbahasa Inggris di sini, rasanya agak wagu. Tapi, saya rasa memang ini sudah saatnya Superbyq kembali menjadi blog berbahasa Indonesia…

Dulu awalnya saya ingin menggunakan Superbyq untuk membantu saya mengasah kemampuan saya menulis dalam Bahasa Inggris. Saya ingin mengembangkan kosa kata saya, supaya thesis saya tidak terlihat seperti tulisan anak baru lulus SD. Dan, saya rasa tujuan tersebut sudah tercapai, dan mungkin sudah saatnya saya membuat tujuan baru untuk Superbyq.

Mungkin kali ini, untuk mengasah kemampuan saya berbahasa Indonesia lagi?

Bukan hal yang aneh, lho.

Saya rasa saya tidak sendirian dalam hal ini. Saya mendengar beberapa kasus di mana seseorang yang lama meninggalkan kampung halamannya, dan tidak menggunakan bahasa ibunya, mulai sedikit demi sedikit kehilangan kosa kata. Mungkin tidak sepenuhnya lupa, karena tidak demikian cara kerja otak.

Tapi ada saat di mana saya lupa bahwa sweet potato itu adalah ubi.

Nggak lucu.

Tahu bahwa sweet potato adalah ubi adalah satu hal, tapi beneran lupa saat mau menggunakannya dalam percakapan itu seperti sebuah peringatan bahwa saya mungkin suatu hari nanti akan merasa asing menggunakan bahasa ibu saya sendiri.

Setiap kali saya pulang kampung, di Solo saya jarang berbahasa Indonesia yang baik dan benar. Kebanyakan bahasa Indonesia saya tercampur dengan bahasa Jawa, atau bahkan Sunda. Saya sudah jarang mampir di Jakarta. Ditambah lagi, saya tidak ada partner berbicara bahasa Indonesia di sini, di Norwich. Hampir tidak ada alasan bagi saya untuk menggunakan bahasa Indonesia sama sekali.

Mungkin saya paranoid.

Tapi saya takut suatu hari nanti saya akan kesulitan untuk menulis blog dalam bahasa Indonesia.

Sekarang saja, misalnya… entah sudah berapa kali saya menekan tombol backspace karena kalimat saya terlihat/terdengar/terbaca aneh. Sudah berapa kali saya mengedit entry hari ini, hanya untuk membuat postingan ini tidak terlalu wagu untuk dibaca.

Jadi… begitulah ceritanya kenapa saya mengembalikan blog ini ke bahasa Indonesia. Saya masih belum tahu apakah saya akan seterusnya menulis dengan gaya seperti ini — jujur saja rasanya kagok. Atau, apakah saya akan kembali ke jaman saya ngeblog di blogspot — yang kalau saya baca sekarang kok rasanya agak kurang cocok sama umur.

Sudah dulu hari ini… Sampai nanti ūüėÄ

Indonistan

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Even though it is not a direct cause, the governor election in Jakarta which has happened last week has something to do with the re-activation of this blog. Once the result of the vote was out, it is difficult not to have any opinion about it.

You’re not a residence of DKI Jakarta, Byq. What does it do to you?

You know what? Even if it does not affect me directly, you have to remember that I spent years of my university years in Jakarta. I have friends, family members, and relatives working, and living in Jakarta, and it definitely affects them and their lives. So, even if it doesn’t affect me directly, this voting result does affect people that I know.

But it does.

It does affect me directly. It does affect me in a personal level as so many attacks were thrown to people of minority groups like myself. It is not only about the defeat of a governor candidate, it is the defeat of progress.

Months ago you thought that Indonesia (or at least Jakarta) has changed a bit. You kind of hoped that finally you can start living in a country where people are no longer politically driven by their religious fanaticism. You kind of hope that for once, in the capital city — where you really put your hope of progression of mankind on — you could see how faith in humanity could be restored.

But of course, you shouldn’t be surprised, should you?

This has happened all around the world, why wouldn’t it happen in Indonesia too? The rise of the far right radicals — which in Indonesia is represented by PKS and FPI (and any organisation similar to them).

Some friends has been joking about the day when Indonesia one day would be transformed into Indonistan. A place where the government will no longer be free of religious intervention, a place where the leaders are more afraid of being called infidels than being fair and just. A place where minority groups will once more being oppressed, and bullied. That joke though… is no longer funny.

It reviving the refugee nightmare in me. It reminds me the day when my parents were about to send me out of the country to save myself from people who will harm us — just because we are minorities. It is basically a reminder that until today, or maybe forever, I would never be welcomed completely in Indonistan Indonesia.

Some people are still trying to console themselves by saying that this is not the end of the world — that Ahok might still have a place somewhere in Indonesia’s politics. Well… maybe. But really? I think it’s just anticlimactic. The country¬†had the chance to bring the country¬†into an overdrive with him… But… of course…

I am not in Jakarta right now. Heck, I am not even in Indonesia right now, and I am super glad that I am not. I am not feeling any patriotic right now, but why should I be? How could I be? I am sorry for those who are now stuck in Indonistan, and just don’t know how to get away from this sticky situation. I am just hoping that I would never have to come back… at least not while the country is still screwed like this…

Another Year on Superbyq

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I think it is just about time for me to make a little come back. I have to admit that I have let myself down by not keeping up with this blog. I want to say that it is not my fault, but really… whose fault is it then?

Sometimes I blame the situation I am in, and my mental state or well being. Sometimes I blame the stress of life, or just things that came up in my way — stopping me from writing. Sometimes I just excuse myself from not writing merely because I didn’t have any muse. But of course, the biggest names in literary world don’t have muse everyday, do they? But they write.

Just like one of my friends posted in her facebook page once: “Writer writes”.

I mean, isn’t that obvious?

If you want to make writing as your profession, isn’t it just obvious that you have to do it professionally? And by being professional, it means you don’t just skip writing and go to ALDI, on the hours you actually allocate for writing, or playing Tsumtsum the whole day while hoping for the muse to come to find you. No…

Obviously, I have to start doing this properly.

As usual, Superbyq’s birthdays always renew my writing spirit, much more than new years. This year Superbyq is 7 years old. It is frustrating to admit that I haven’t gone as far as I wish I have. Of course I have developed since then, and that I have achieved few things in life. However, I feel that it is not enough…

So, yeah… Like every year before, I am hopeful about this year. Hopefully I could write more, write better, and of probably make something out of it.

Right… enough for now.

Thank you for keeping up with me.¬†I will see you again very very soon…

Prost!