Category Archives: Byq Happening

Pulang?

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Status facebook teman-teman saya sering kali mendatangkan inspirasi buat menulis. Bukan cuma statusnya, tapi juga komentar-komentar orang lain — orang-orang yang tidak saya kenal, terhadap status tersebut.

Hari ini, misalnya.

Salah seorang teman saya yang bersekolah di luar negeri (luar Indonesia, maksudnya), mengunggah foto itinerary penerbangan dari tempatnya bersekolah, ke Indonesia. Pulang, sepertinya, setelah menyelesaikan pendidikan selama beberapa tahun di sana. Saya tidak tahu pasti apa yang dia bicarakan di statusnya, karena tidak ditulis dengan bahasa yang saya mengerti… tapi sebuah emot kecil yang mengikuti statusnya bicara banyak.

Komentar yang mengikutinya beragam, tentu saja. Grup teman-teman yang ditinggalkan, dan grup teman-teman yang menyambut pulang. Pulang…

Sulit rasanya menyebut kata “pulang”, kalau tempat yang dituju tidak terasa seperti rumah. Saya tahu, dan bukannya sok sok tahu, bahwa banyak pelajar Indonesia, terutama mereka yang kuning sipit seperti saya malas pulang ke Indonesia. Bukan karena kami tidak nasionalis, tapi karena kami tidak merasa di Indonesia kami masih dianaktirikan.

Kasus Ahok beberapa bulan lalu contoh jelasnya.

Karena kasus Ahok kemarin, makin banyak orang Indonesia, pelajar maupun bukan, makin malas kembali ke Indonesia. Percuma rasanya mengorbankan kehidupan yang aman, mapan, dan bebas diskriminasi di luar negeri, untuk membangun tanah air tumpah darah… kalau pada akhirnya dikriminalisasi seperti Ahok.

Memang benar, jadi minoritas itu tidak enak. Di mana-mana juga sama tidak enak jadi minoritas. Selalu saja ada grup orang-orang rasis bodoh, yang tidak paham konsep kebhinekaan. TAPI, setidaknya di negara lain, di sini misalnya, HUKUM selalu ada untuk melindungi kalau kami dibully oleh orang-orang semacam ini.

Di Indonesia? Hukum tidak pernah memihak yang benar. Kalau tidak memihak yang kuat dan berkuasa — kasus Antasari Azhar, Munir dll, ya memihak yang banyak dan populer — kasus anaknya Ahmad Dhani, FPI, Riziq Shihab dll.

Banyak orang Indonesia tidak mengerti, bahwa nasionalisme saja tidak cukup untuk hidup. Realistis saja, tidak ada manusia yang mau mati konyol kalau ada kesempatan buat membangun kehidupan yang lebih baik — membangun kehidupan, di tempat yang bisa disebut “rumah”.

Saya merasa turut berduka teman saya harus kembali ke Indonesia, dan bukan hanya untuk berkunjung seperti kalau pas saya pulang kampung. Saya kenal belasan anak Indonesia, kebanyakan perempuan, yang merasa terjebak di Indonesia. Kenapa perempuan?

Ha, saya punya teori. Perempuan. Minoritas. Indonesia yang semakin lama semakin gila agama. Jelas saja banyak perempuan minoritas pengen kabur dari sana. Saya hanya bisa berharap mereka bisa menemukan jalan keluar (yang legal) dari Indonesia.

 

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Hari Ini Saya Menulis

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Waktu saya SMA, saya punya seorang guru Bahasa Indonesia bernama Pak Rudy. Beliau ini wali kelas saya waktu saya kelas satu. Berhubung saya waktu itu adalah salah satu pengurus kelas, saya sering berkontak dengan Pak Rudy di luar jam pelajaran di kelas.

Dari kontak itu, Pak Rudy rupanya tahu bahwa saya suka membaca. Saya tidak ingat dari mana awal mulanya, tapi saya ingat Pak Rudy meminjami saya buku novel miliknya pribadi. Bukan buku perpustakaan yang biasanya saya pinjam.

Saya masih ingat judulnya dengan jelas — tentu saja karena itu momen spesial buat saya. Bekisar Merah.

Setiap kali saya melihat buku itu di rak di Gramedia, saya selalu ingat Pak Rudy. Guru Bahasa Indonesia saya yang paling spesial.

Bagi saya jasa terbesar Pak Rudy bagi saya adalah memperkenalkan saya pada dunia menulis. Kalau bukan karena Pak Rudy, mungkin tidak akan pernah ada blog bernama Superbyq. Tidak pernah ada cerita tentang Princess Cinnamon dan Coco. Saya mungkin tidak pernah mengenal betapa menyenangkannya menuangkan isi kepala dalam tulisan.

Suatu hari Pak Rudy mengumumkan bahwa ada tugas besar untuk dikumpulkan sebelum tes akhir tahun. Tugasnya sederhana, yaitu kami diminta menulis cerita fiksi. Syaratnya sederhana: minimal memiliki jumlah kata sebanyak yang dibutuhkan untuk membuat cerpen. Tidak ada maksimal.

Dan saya mulai menulis. Kata, diikuti kalimat. Kalimat diikuti paragraf. Beberapa minggu kemudian saya punya novel kecil. Ceritanya sederhana, khas cerita remaja — tentang anak remaja perempuan yang ditinggal mati pacarnya.

Yang Pak Rudy mungkin tidak tahu adalah bahwa sejak hari itu saya tidak pernah berhenti menulis. Saya menulis setiap hari, meskipun hanya satu kata. Waktu kelas tiga SMA saya menulis tiga buku kecil untuk dibaca teman-teman sekelas saya. Blog ini punya Princess Cinnamon dan Coco, dan….

Yang Pak Rudy tidak pernah tahu adalah mimpi saya.

Bahwa saya ingin menulis buku yang akan saya dedikasikan untuk beliau. Karena beliau yang mengajari saya menulis untuk pertama kali. Dan menunjukkan pada saya bahwa dengan kata saya bisa menciptakan dunia saya sendiri.

Sayangnya Pak Rudy tidak pernah akan tahu ini.

Hari ini saya mendapatkan kabar bahwa Pak Rudy meninggal dunia pada umur 46 tahun.

Pak Rudy tidak akan pernah tahu bahwa dia telah mengubah hidup seseorang. Pak Rudy tidak akan pernah melihat namanya ditulis di halaman dedikasi — seperti yang saya rencanakan kalau pada akhirnya saya menulis sebuah novel… Pak Rudy tidak akan pernah mendengar terima kasih saya secara langsung — dan ini adalah satu hal yang paling saya sesalkan.

Hari ini saya menulis untuk Pak Rudy. Untuk mengenang seorang pahlawan tanpa tanda jasa, yang mengubah hidup saya dengan sebuah tugas kecil darinya. Saya rasa tidak ada cara lain yang pantas untuk mengenang Pak Rudy, bagi saya, selain dengan tetap menulis…

Selamat jalan Pak Rudy.

 

Sisters

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Sejak beberapa hari yang lalu, semua media memberitakan kebakaran yang terjadi di London. Kebakaran ini merupakan salah satu yang terbesar di Inggris sejak beberapa tahun, dan mungkin juga merupakan salah satu yang memakan paling banyak korban meninggal.

Tidak heran, apartment tersebut memiliki 24 lantai, 20 di antaranya adalah untuk tempat tinggal. Diperkirakan ada sekitar 500 penghuni di sana, atau setidaknya yang tercatat.

Seiring dengan dipadamkannya api, berita yang muncul di televisi pun beralih dari berita usaha penyelamatan dan pemadaman, ke berita mengenai orang-orang yang terkena imbas dari kebakaran ini. Cerita mengenai seorang ibu tang melempar bayinya keluar melalu jendela, agar sang bayi diselamatkan — bayi tersebut dikabarkan selamat, atau cerita mengenai kakek-kakek yang tidak bisa menyelamatkan diri karena dia tidak bisa menggunakan tangga darurat.

Tapi satu cerita yang buat saya agak personal adalah mengenai tiga kakak beradik yang terpencar saat berusaha menyelamatan diri dari kobaran api. Salah seorang dari mereka tertinggal di dalam apartment, dan cuma bisa berkontak dengan kakak-kakaknya melalu HP sampai akhirnya hubungan pembicaraan terputus, dan si adik dikabarkan tewas.

Si kakak bercerita kepada media bahwa saat ditelepon, si adik yang tertinggal di apartment berkata, “kok kamu ninggalin aku?”

Saya tidak bisa menjelaskan kenapa, tapi saat itu juga saya ikut merasakan apa yang dirasakan oleh si kakak. Saya punya tiga orang adik, Cuy, Dan, ada satu masa di mana, saya dan dua adik perempuan saya berbagi apartment di Jakarta. Saya tidak bisa membayangkan apa yang akan saya lakukan kalau saya ada di posisi si kakak itu.

Apakah saya akan melakukan hal yang sama — mendengarkan detik-detik terakhir si adik melalui telepon? Atau kembali masuk, dan lari ke lantai berapa belas, sedangkan si kakak sendiri sudah bengek karena menghirup terlalu banya asap?

Saya bukan termasuk orang yang sensitif, dan saya jarang merasa kasihan kepada orang lain. Tapi tiga kakak beradik ini… Man… kalau bukan karena berita di TV sudah beralih lagi ke cerita yang lain, mungkin saya sudah mbrebes mili…

Indonistan Pt.2

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BBC dan Guardian ikutan memberitakan Ahok divonis bersalah karena penistaan agama. Iya, saya tahunya dari situ, karena saya malas ngikutin berita online di Indonesia. Berita online di Indonesia masih belum selevel dengan berita TV atau koran, baik dari sisi cek dan ricek, bias, dan juga tata cara penulisan. Mungkin karena mereka maunya cepat, dan jadi yang pertama memberitakan sesuatu, lalu lupa bahwa “cepat” bukan satu-satunya tolok ukur reportase yang baik… “akurat” juga.

Eeeeniwei… saya bukan anak jurnalistik, cuma ikut kelas dasar-dasar jurnalistik satu semester saja. Jadi, biarlah anak (dan lulusan) studi jurnalistik yang mengomentari dunia jurnalisme online di Indonesia.

Kembali ke Ahok saja ya…

Setelah beberapa bulan persidangan, dengan berbagai macam kontroversi saat prosesnya, akhirnya calon mantan gubernur DKI Jakarta itu divonis bersalah juga. Meskipun saksi-saksi yang diajukan ternyata banyak yang bodong, meskipun ada bukti yang ternyata video editan… si Cina Kafir itu divonis bersalah juga.

Saya rasa memang sudah saatnya. Bukan saya menunggu-nunggu Ahok kena batunya, tapi saya tahu bahwa Indonesia belum siap dengan kebebasan berpendapat dan berbicara di ruang publik. Bukan saya merasa Ahok bersalah, tapi saya tahu bahwa negara ini memang tidak adil pada golongan minoritas. Saya tidak perlu menyebutkan contoh, karena semua orang bisa lihat sendiri — bukan cuma kalian yang di Indonesia, orang-orang di sini juga bisa lihat kok. Buktinya sampai diberitakan di BBC dan Guardian.

Kecewa? Hm… iya, sedikit. Kaget? Tidak sama sekali. Ingat Jessica? Atau Antasari Azhar? Sama seperti kedua kasus tersebut, bukti-bukti lemah, saksi-saksi tidak kredibel… tetap saja vonis bersalah. Dan seperti yang saya bilang waktu yang lalu — kalau ini bisa terjadi pada Jessica dan Antasari Azhar — dan sekarang Ahok, ini bisa terjadi pada siapa saja.

Sebenarnya saya malas ikut-ikutan komen… Tapi ini bulan Mei, dan biasanya di bulan Mei saya lebih sensi dari biasanya.

whatever…

Tiba-tiba nyesel revert back ke Bahasa Indonesia. I don’t feel like I want to be an Indonesian right now…

Indonistan

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Even though it is not a direct cause, the governor election in Jakarta which has happened last week has something to do with the re-activation of this blog. Once the result of the vote was out, it is difficult not to have any opinion about it.

You’re not a residence of DKI Jakarta, Byq. What does it do to you?

You know what? Even if it does not affect me directly, you have to remember that I spent years of my university years in Jakarta. I have friends, family members, and relatives working, and living in Jakarta, and it definitely affects them and their lives. So, even if it doesn’t affect me directly, this voting result does affect people that I know.

But it does.

It does affect me directly. It does affect me in a personal level as so many attacks were thrown to people of minority groups like myself. It is not only about the defeat of a governor candidate, it is the defeat of progress.

Months ago you thought that Indonesia (or at least Jakarta) has changed a bit. You kind of hoped that finally you can start living in a country where people are no longer politically driven by their religious fanaticism. You kind of hope that for once, in the capital city — where you really put your hope of progression of mankind on — you could see how faith in humanity could be restored.

But of course, you shouldn’t be surprised, should you?

This has happened all around the world, why wouldn’t it happen in Indonesia too? The rise of the far right radicals — which in Indonesia is represented by PKS and FPI (and any organisation similar to them).

Some friends has been joking about the day when Indonesia one day would be transformed into Indonistan. A place where the government will no longer be free of religious intervention, a place where the leaders are more afraid of being called infidels than being fair and just. A place where minority groups will once more being oppressed, and bullied. That joke though… is no longer funny.

It reviving the refugee nightmare in me. It reminds me the day when my parents were about to send me out of the country to save myself from people who will harm us — just because we are minorities. It is basically a reminder that until today, or maybe forever, I would never be welcomed completely in Indonistan Indonesia.

Some people are still trying to console themselves by saying that this is not the end of the world — that Ahok might still have a place somewhere in Indonesia’s politics. Well… maybe. But really? I think it’s just anticlimactic. The country had the chance to bring the country into an overdrive with him… But… of course…

I am not in Jakarta right now. Heck, I am not even in Indonesia right now, and I am super glad that I am not. I am not feeling any patriotic right now, but why should I be? How could I be? I am sorry for those who are now stuck in Indonistan, and just don’t know how to get away from this sticky situation. I am just hoping that I would never have to come back… at least not while the country is still screwed like this…

Another Year on Superbyq

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I think it is just about time for me to make a little come back. I have to admit that I have let myself down by not keeping up with this blog. I want to say that it is not my fault, but really… whose fault is it then?

Sometimes I blame the situation I am in, and my mental state or well being. Sometimes I blame the stress of life, or just things that came up in my way — stopping me from writing. Sometimes I just excuse myself from not writing merely because I didn’t have any muse. But of course, the biggest names in literary world don’t have muse everyday, do they? But they write.

Just like one of my friends posted in her facebook page once: “Writer writes”.

I mean, isn’t that obvious?

If you want to make writing as your profession, isn’t it just obvious that you have to do it professionally? And by being professional, it means you don’t just skip writing and go to ALDI, on the hours you actually allocate for writing, or playing Tsumtsum the whole day while hoping for the muse to come to find you. No…

Obviously, I have to start doing this properly.

As usual, Superbyq’s birthdays always renew my writing spirit, much more than new years. This year Superbyq is 7 years old. It is frustrating to admit that I haven’t gone as far as I wish I have. Of course I have developed since then, and that I have achieved few things in life. However, I feel that it is not enough…

So, yeah… Like every year before, I am hopeful about this year. Hopefully I could write more, write better, and of probably make something out of it.

Right… enough for now.

Thank you for keeping up with me. I will see you again very very soon…

Prost!

Shell

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The votes are counted, and the first round of the regional election has finished today. And I am gobsmacked with the result. Although, I am not surprised… not at all.

In the kind of political climate around the world today, anything could happen. Brexit. Trump. Anything, I said.

Maybe it is a bit late for me to post about Ahok now. But I’d like to talk about it regardless…

A food for thought, mainly.

The fact that this election today has to go to the second round is an eye opener for the die hard supporters of Ahok. It is a reminder that it doesn’t matter how loud you are on the media, or social media — those opinions you are shouting, or typing, never got to those whose vote you are trying to get.

You are not reaching out to people whose opinions count.

I watch a discussion about satire on BBC yesterday. About how satire has become the “it” thing with the smart people. Satire is now highbrow, and exclusive. And that satire, which used to be the media’s weapon to reach out, now is missing the target audience. One of the panellists said something along the line: these hipsters are only talking to other hipsters… Just like you.

You are only talking to your own kind, to others who are just like you. Those who are agreeing with you. Because those who are not, are either stupid ignorant people, whose voices you dismissed. You are… honestly… just like me.

I have to admit that I am guilty for doing that too.

I once asked in a group on Facebook — this group is called ABAM, by the way. I asked them why they bothered to answer questions coming from people who were obviously only trying to troll, or just being a bigot. I told them that.. to be honest, I wouldn’t have either patience, or passion to do it. Maybe… maybe it is a good thing that I am not an educator.

These people, who are so passionate in educating people, reaching out and trying to open up minds, told me their reasons. It is not to change people’s mind, but to open it up so that they can think for themselves. It is not to make them to agree with us, but to make them see our point of view, so that maybe in the end we could agree to disagree — peacefully. It answers to inform, not answers to patronise.

I couldn’t do that.

Most of the time, when things heated up, I just left the conversation. Like that time when I talked to someone from Interpal.

But I might be in the wrong here.

Obviously what I’ve done was no different from these remain campaigners in the UK, Hillary’s supporters in the UK, and Teman Ahok volunteers in Jakarta. I am just talking to my own kind. I don’t reach out, and I don’t speak to enough people to make a difference.

I AM too living in a shell.

Back to the election now.

I think there are still time for Teman Ahok, if they want, to reach out to these swing voters. I just hope they realise this before it is too late.

Now then… I wish you the best of luck.

Prost!

An Update (Again)

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Just came back from my annual visit to Indonesia. As usual, to celebrate the CNY.

This time, Chinese New Year feels different for me. In so many ways.

Not only that now I am no longer receiving angpao, and instead having to give kids ones, it was also… I don’t know. Ambivalent? I don’t know, I am not even sure how to put it. What I know is that in this trip home, so many things has changed. And, I realised that I have changed a lot too, since the last CNY.

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Mentally, mostly.

One little thing like… how I feel when I was surrounded by family, for example. It has changed too.

I used to like being left alone. I can blame it to my teenage angst, but now I can appreciate it more. I can appreciate being surrounded by cousins whom I haven’t met for at least five years, or nieces and nephews I haven’t never seen before. I can appreciate the attentions, as much as I could appreciate them leaving me alone in the past.

Or, the way I reacted to the problems in the family. I feel that I am no longer trying to fix stuff. It was, of course an effort not to treat my sisters and brother like children anymore. They are adults now, and the realisation has helped me to let them go, and be their own person. And they are their own persons, and I am proud of them.

It’s just…

Being the eldest in the family, there’s always this feeling of wanting to protect my sisters and brother. They probably don’t need my protection, not anymore. But it is always ingrained in me, the sisterly tough love to them. And, to be honest, this is probably the closest I could ever be to parenthood, so… IF they read this, I hope they understand if I was mummying them. (No, there’s a difference between mummying, and mummifying. Pay attention!)

Anyway. One thing doesn’t change though…

The FOOD.

As the closing of today’s post, I will present you: THE FOOD

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Happy New Year 2017

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Another year has passed. Although I couldn’t say that 2016 was a good year for me and (probably) the rest of humanity, I am still glad we have gone through it — alive.

Well, I am not going to talk about the past today, because I think new year is the best time to talk about the future. And for the very near future, a.k.a year of 2017, this is my resolutions:

  1. Since I managed to lose a bit of weight in 2016, why don’t I make it a promise to myself to be a better groomed person. I will take care of myself better — not necessarily full on make up everyday but.. hey, I am getting older. I don’t think it is a bad idea at all to take care of my physical appearance.
  2. I will read more. I will keep the target of 20 books I didn’t get to achieve last year. That was silly of me, but I think reading books would help keeping my brain sharp. I will have to spare more time to read.
  3. Blog entries? I will make it 200. I have at least two active blogs, and I managed to write 150+ blog posts this year, and… since blogging is the only way I could keep practising my writing skill, I should think of raising my game a bit. 200 blog entries in a year? I think that’s not too ambitious, is it?
  4. My German is getting better, and I was okay in trying to practise it everyday. BUT, it seems like I couldn’t be discipline when I am trying to learn other languages. Right now, I have Welsh, French, Hungarian, and Spanish on my list. I have to make up my mind and choose one instead of learning a little bit of everything. Let’s see how I can improve my language skill this year.
  5. Expanding my social circle. I find this the most difficult thing to do. My husband does have friends who are nice, and we get along alright… but unfortunately we have a complete different interests — in hobbies, political opinion, socio-cultural interests, etc. And, I can’t spend too much time with mums because somehow they would start talking about their kids, and it is sooo difficult to pretend that I care.

There… Wish me luck, and I wish you the best with your resolutions — if you do have one, and wish you a wonderful year ahead — even if you don’t have any. I will see you soon, and hopefully more regularly this time.

Prost!

The 2016 End of Year Recap

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Golly! Is this that time of the year again? Time to recap the year and list of what I have achieved this year…

Okay. From the resolution, these are what I achieved:

  1. Mein Deutsch wurde besser. Ich kann manche sätze machen, obwohl es ziemlich lange dauert. Yes… It took a while to compose that sentence. In fact, it always takes a long time for me to make a sensible sentence. But it’s getting there. All I need to do is to get more learning sources so I could expand — as Duolingo is now a little bit predictable.
  2. I haven’t reached my book challenge, nor Nanowrimo. So both just didn’t work.
  3. I definitely reached the blog post goal, although it is not posted in this site.

Other thing that I have achieved:

  1. I have lost around 11kg since Chinese New Year. The reason why I didn’t lose too much after mid year assessment is because we went to Indonesia for a holiday, and since I have lost a lot the weight loss gets a little bit trickier.
  2. I get my visa extended, so it will be okay for the next three years. Wohoo!!
  3. I am doing well with handcrafting, and gardening — until I went to Indonesia again for my sister’s wedding in November and came back to the UK with a nervous breakdown.
  4. Mr. Fix-It and I travelled a bit, although it was our usual trip to Indonesia during Summer, and Wales for Christmas.

I really wish I could achieve more though… But I can’t complain too much… this year wasn’t a good one for me. Let’s just hope that next year would be much better than this — with less pressure from immigration, and new plan laid ahead, I think there would be some progress to be done next year.

But until then, let’s enjoy the last day of 2016.

See you next year 🙂