Category Archives: Byq Happening

2016 — Not Looking Back In Anger

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To be honest… 2016 was probably not the best year you want to remember, wasn’t it? I mean… really…

Just when you think that the death of Lemmy in the end of last year was the end of the count, you heard about David Bowie, and Alan Rickman within a week. And, when in the end of the month I told Mr. Fix-it that Terry Wogan was gone as well, he asked me to stop updating him with these distressing news.

But really… the big names were not the only ones going. The humanitarian issues from Syrian refugees, to the Rohingyas in Myanmar. The bombings both in the Middle East, and in Europe, and the terrorist attacks like those in Nice and in Berlin were just few of the examples. One that was much much closer to heart was the death of Jo Cox, obviously… The Labour MP who was murdered by someone who was and is still not worth mentioned or remembered. No… seriously, that ‘someone’ is so pathetic, that I refuse to mention his name in this blog — and after all that guy has already found guilty and I am glad with the decision.

When we mentioned Jo Cox, we would also remember Brexit, and when we talk about Brexit we also remember the 2016 US Presidential Election. Both were shocking for some people, and surprising for the others. I can mention some people who are still not able to move on from both events.

Oh yes…

2016 hasn’t finished with us really…

Both in the UK and in Indonesia, the rise of bigotry and intolerance increased with the rate I have never seen before. Seems like one side is fuelling the other with hatred… Same hatred, different side of the fence. It is getting both tiring and worrying, but not as worrying as MY own problem– my visa extension application.

It was done in the end, but… it was quite traumatic (if you want to know about the details, I would talk specifically about it later — but not now, because we are not talking about it now…), but gee… It is not as traumatic as finding a dead cat in our host’s house when we were visiting in laws in Wales for Christmas (yes… I know…).

So… there you go, 2016. It is almost the end of the year, and I do really hope that all those would make a good excuse for not posting for the last month. YES!!

All these effort to write an elaborate post just to excuse myself for slacking from writing. Apologies. I will try to do better next year…

Prost!

 

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The End Of Brangelina?

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Well… until they are officially divorced, I won’t say that they’re divorced. Not yet. But it wouldn’t stop me from talking about this particularly recent celeb story 😀

I don’t usually talk about celeb gossip, especially about someone’s getting married or getting divorced. Seriously.. it is Hollywood, everybody gets married and divorced all the time. But this particular power couple is somehow… not quite the same.

Yeah, someone actually made this 😮

Okay, I have to admit, before anyone else pointing out, that I was Team Aniston. True that Aniston was never and probably would never be like Jolie — mother of six, who worked for social causes by endorsing charities, and at the same time working on great box office films. True that other than being Rachel, I don’t even find any of her films worth watching.

But my family have once had to go through a painful period of time because of some morally questionable woman. And having an ex-partner who cheated on me did give me a good perspective on how horrible it could be to be where Aniston was. So Team Aniston, no question. Yes, please throw any argument you think would make me change my mind… I cannot see how it could.

Anyway.

I’ve forgotten why I started this post. Seriously. I think I have babbled too much, I have lost focus.

Oh well… luckily, I haven’t been talking about something serious. I mean, if it is that serious, I would have remembered, would I? And really, what is so serious about someone getting a divorced? Brangelina doesn’t do anything for me. After all, since Pitt divorced Aniston, I think he lost his charm (on me anyway).

Hugh Jackman though.

Yum.

Oh yeah… what I found interesting is how the internet has reacted to it. Lol. I know I am being completely hypocritical because I am reacting to it too by making this post. Maybe I am just an opportunistic blogger wanting join the recent trend. I don’t know… like I said, I have lost focus and forgot what I was trying to say about this thing.

Karma is actually one of the more interesting characters in HIMYM...

Karma is actually one of the more interesting characters in HIMYM… Image source: http://www.fanpop.com/clubs/how-i-met-your-mother/images/29441729/title/7×18-karma-screencap

I mean… there must be some moral of the story in this. “What goes around, comes around” maybe? Or “A leopard never changes its spots”? Or something rather flippant like “Hey.. Karma is a bitch!” (or a stripper, in HIMYM).

What do you think?

 

Heute Bin Ich Eine Tante Geworden…

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Yes… and my German is getting better and better everyday, thanks to practising daily 😀 Oh, you’re can’t be bothered to copy and paste the title to google translator to know what it is about? Well… let me tell you what it means.

It means, “today, I have become an aunt”.

Yes my kind ladies and gentlemen, the lovely readers of Superbyq. Congratulate me because today, I am officially a proper aunt.

Of course I was an aunt before this. My cousins have got kids. And my husband has a nephew, but his nephew is not… you know… my direct nephew. And it is not the same because with my sister, I have been following her pregnancy process, and growing a sense of belonging to that baby. Aunthood is probably the closest I would ever get to parenthood.

Are you asking if I am not brooding? Nope. Still not.

I am still genuinely happy for my sister, and overjoyed with the new addition to our family. There is no question about it. However it doesn’t mean I would like to be the one contributing :0 Let’s not ruin today’s happiness with this “my womb my decision” rant, okay? Let’s just celebrate the day I officially become an aunt.

Ich bin außer mir vor Freude! Ich möchte mein Glas erheben, zu gratulieren meine Schwester und Schwager. Ich wünsche ihren Familie vielen Glück und gute Gesundheit.

Prost!!

Norwich Pride And A Lesson About Tolerance

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We went to gay pride again. I love going there because it gives me the sense of acceptance, tolerance, and even belonging. It is great to be surrounded by people, who embrace difference and for once after so many weeks of feeling uncomfortable in my own skin, I felt wonderful. I dressed up, and dolled up, –and with my lovely open minded wonderful husband– went to Norwich city centre.

Alle möglichen Leute waren da.

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The sun was up, but not for long. Soon enough the cloud took over and a bit of drizzle sprinkled the sky with cooling spray. None of those stopped us from being… well… gay 😀 We’re marching from the Forum to Chapelfield garden — this is new because usually we walked from Chapelfield Garden to the Forum.

This is when things got more interesting.

Every year, when we’re parading, there would be someone holding an anti-gay poster on the route. Usually only four or five people gathering while waving us the posters, and in return the paraders would cheered back at them.

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Cheered. Not jeered.

It was a “Wooohoooo!!” and lots of clapping, instead of a massive “Booo!!”.

Yes.

Nobody went to attack anyone, verbally nor physically. It mad me think… how the hell this could happen here, but not in my homeland in Indonesia? When I came home that day I found that some Buddhist temples in the town of Tanjung Balai, Sumatra were attacked, damaged, and even burned down — because allegedly ones voiced their concerns about the loudness of the Muslim’s call for prayer there.

Then I realised… Here in Norwich, we are playing the same game, and obeying the same rule. We believe that everybody could have their opinion without being physically or verbally abused. We know that the authorities would police the regulation, and make sure everybody has that right to voice their thought as long as it is not abusive.

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Like those people with anti gay posters in the gay parade.

Like that woman in hijab who took photo in the anti muslim rally.

In Indonesia? If voicing a concern about a loud speaker from a mosque ended up in the burning of seven Buddhist temples… Imagine what would happen to a gay man carrying a beautiful rainbow flag in front of FPI rally? Do you think the Indonesian police officers would protect his right to voice his opinion? Do you think FPI would cheered his bravery for coming out? Nope… he would either ended up in the hospital or even… six feet under.

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Now you think…

Prost!

I Am Sorry…

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One of the thing of being English is that you say sorry a lot. You say sorry for almost everything — it is a part of the culture. You apologise when you make the lady in the till wait for two seconds longer while you are rummaging your bag to find that elusive pound coin. You apologise when someone thought you are queuing while you’re actually just standing there minding your own thing. I think it is a part of making thing less awkward. But what do I know. I am not English.

But my husband is English — and he does apologise a lot, just to make sure people would recognise his English-ness — as if that fair skin, blonde hair, and British accent is not enough. And yes he’s born and bred British, and he’s proud of it. I mean, like normal people feeling proud of their nationalities.

But today, he looked mournful, and told me after a long sad sigh:

“Darling I am sorry. I am sorry for being English.”

My heart broke.

I mean it is true that yesterday, for the first time I don’t want to support England team on Euro2016. For the first time I didn’t cheer for them nor Wales the day before. I put away my union jack mug which I normally use for my daily caffeine. And, I am selling my “St George cross” steel boned waist reducing corset.

I mean… who am I kidding? I might get an elocution course to adopt a perfect sound of BBC English accent, or made a long and elaborate speech about how the weather has been while drinking a nice cup of tea — but with this straight black hair, yellow complexion, and slightly slanted eyes I would never be English, would I? Why even bother to try? These people wouldn’t ever see me as one of them, would they?

But when my husband said those two sentences. I feel… ambivalent.

Not once I could put my husband in the same category with these racist idiots who took a childish decision to storm out from EU just because they’re angry. Not once I could see my husband as the same creature who attacks and make hateful remarks to people from different nationalities, ethnicities, nor religions. I could never be able to see her in the same picture with those who use the same word “PROUD”, going on the street telling people to go back to their own country.

But I can understand why he feel bad for being English — as this particular post-Brexit time is just the worst time to be a foreigner in this proud country.

It is the same when I feel slightly offended when these racist bastards make hateful comments to immigrants, or to ethnic minorities. It is the same when I feel incredibly upset when homophobic bastards make ignorant comments about LGBT in Indonesia. It is the sense of belonging that is tainted with negative emotion. Mine with upset and anger. His with shame and guilt.

And I am so sad that he feels that way.

He has done everything that is right. And I know if things go south, he will stand by me. But this is sadly something even he — My Mr.Fix-It– cannot fix.

And it is terrible terrible feeling.

This EU result is not only affecting the country as a whole, but also us as an individual. It might hit some people faster than the other — some might be in denial, or still hoping that things are going to settle down and get better.

I really hope all the scary things would never happen. I really wish for the best for everybody that once the dust has settled, it is not going to be ruins that we see. But for now I would stop talking about EU referendum and the shit that it has brought to us. I would go to my dearest husband, give him a little hug, and console him — while consoling myself.

Good night…

And I Am The One Who Is Being Hateful? LOL

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Police officer in France was stabbed to death by someone who declared allegiance to IS, not a very long time after the Orlando massacre. In Orlando, 49 people were murdered in a mass shooting at a gay bar in Orlando, USA. The murdered who doesn’t deserve to be named has pledged allegiance to Islamic State before he went on murdering people.

Many Muslims from US and UK tried so hard to distance themselves from this, by saying again and again that this is not Islam. Etc. Etc. Even the father of the murderer said that he didn’t condone what the son did. It didn’t surprise me at all. Who would in the right mind applaud this horrible act publicly on international media. Oh wait… of course! Indonesian netizens!

Let’s see what they said about this — someone shared these screenshots on my facebook:

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translate: Thank god. May the shooters (sic) receive pahala

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translate: that’s fine. They’re gays

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translate: aww… why just shoot them? Bomb would finish everything. The infidels. teehee…

 

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(1) In the eyes of the world, he is a murderer. But in front of Allah, he is the warrior of Allah’s religion (2) May Allah receives your jihad Omar Mateen. Doesn’t matter if the majority hates you, but by god’s will in front of allah your goodness is received. amen (3) Slaughter these people (homosexuals). In Islam, people like those would have been punished to death by thrown away from tall buildings and stoned to death.

Indonesian authority raided food seller — who were just trying to make an honest living for themselves and probably their families, who’s selling food during the day in ramadan month. Oh… it is ramadan month, isn’t it? Some people are not eating during the day (by their own choice by the way), and now everybody else can’t eat in front of them — because it is disrespectful.

authorities turned the food shack upside down for selling food during fasting month

Using force to punish non-Muslim people from eating in public is not an isolated incident — it happened in predominantly Muslim countries. Elderly HINDU man was beaten up for eating in public during ramadan month in Pakistan. And only few years ago, in Malaysia SCHOOL CHILDREN who didn’t fast had to eat in TOILET because their act of eating could offend their fellow student who were starved by their religion.

Don’t worry. Click the link. I didn’t write those news, I won’t get paid for the click you do.

I am just showing you what many of apologists failed to understand. It is not a phobia. It is a deductive conclusion. It is a criticism towards a religion who insisted that they’re a religion of peace although the reality they’re far from it.

Yeah yeah… I know you’re going to say: “oh it is not the religion, it is the people”, or “oh it is only few of the bad ones, I know some of the good ones”. Well. I know some of the good ones, it doesn’t mean that the religion is not flawed from the root. It should and it is open for both interpretation and criticism — being an ideology. But then if I am criticising it… I am the one who’s being hateful?

I am not the one who kills, condone killings, brutalise, vandalise, violate other people’s lives. And I am the one who’s being spiteful for not being a politically correct apologists — who would rather blame the guns instead of the ideology who pushed someone for being a complete and utter arsehole?

Of course the gun made it worse but… really… Should the French government banned knives too to stop stabbing?

 

Spring is Coming

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Well… it is been here for a while, but I was too busy enjoying it, and forgot that I have this responsibility to write. Write. Yes. I do feel a little bit (or a lot) embarrassed that I haven’t been able to write properly lately.

Writer’s write.

If I want to be a writer one day, I should stop doing other thing and start writing again.

As a token of a good faith, here I am today, writing again. Only a bit of an update though, not quite like what I usually do. But I suppose it would be enough to break down the writer’s block. So, bear with me 🙂

Since Rae posted about her exercise and weight loss routine on her blog some times ago, I have been thinking about it. I am 30 this year, and I wouldn’t be 30 for long. Not much has changed in my life and I know I would have to start making some changes. So Rae and I have been in contact to talk about this weight loss thing about a month ago.

She sent me an example of what should be done. And it does seem like a torture.

But this is the difference between Rae and I, that I noticed when we were talking about this weight loss plan. Rae seems to be an active person, she likes what she is doing and inspired and challenged by this thing. I don’t. If I do it the way she does it, I know I will stop before I start, so I decided I have to do it differently than what she does.

I don’t dedicate exercise time. I tried to be more active, walking more, and actually quite enjoyed what I did in the city. Cleaned the house more than usual, and even do some gardening. It does take energy and I found myself feel better doing it.

And, I don’t believe in clean eating. I like the idea of it, and I love eating fresh fruits and vegetables. But, to be honest with you, I don’t think clean eating is sustainable. I don’t believe in depriving myself from KFC hot wings, or big gulp of ice cold Carling, while munching potato crisps. What I did instead is start logging and counting the calories intake. I do invest in a digital scale for this.

Almost a month now, and I have lost 2 kg just for doing this. It also means I have lost a total of 5 kg since I have stopped taking contraception pills. I have a good feeling about this. Who knows by the end of this year I would be able to shed another 8 kgs.

Prost!

Yuyun

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Disclaimer:
If you haven’t heard about Yuyun, you are probably the lucky one. I wish I could keep you from knowing who was Yuyun and what had happened to her, but I couldn’t. And I shouldn’t. So, before I even begin, I would like to apologise if this particular post ruins your beautiful day.

***

Yuyun was a 14 year old, Indonesian middle school girl who was allegedly kidnapped and gang raped by fourteen boys. She was on her way back from school that day, and she never made it home.

I don’t know what is different from this particular case, that it has got the mainstream media attention. Is it because that she is still really really young? Is it because the number of rapists? Is it because the fact that she was killed on the scene? Or… Is it because it is time for Indonesian people to recognise that we do have rape culture in our society? — so I hope.

Since I was really young, I was taught to dress modestly by my parents. Girls would have to wear a vest underneath their white shirts so if the shirt happens to be see-through they wouldn’t inadvertently showed off their underwear. My mum would wear petticoat when wearing light coloured skirt or dress, or something that slightly fitting to avoid indecent exposure. Can you imagine how hot it was wearing all those layers in a tropical country like Indonesia.

Very. That’s the answer.

But we did it. I don’t mind doing it at school as it is a part of a uniform and most of the time we will be indoor. But we did it outside the school. And what is it for? To prevent the unwanted. To protect ourselves from being a victim, because we know… we know exactly what would happen when we become a victim.

We will be blamed because we are not wearing enough layer. Or that our skirts are few centimetres too short than the decent length. We will be blamed for walking alone. Especially after dark. Because good women would cover themselves up, and not being seen outside without chaperones. And bad women? Well… they’re asking for it.

Now… that’s depressing, isn’t it? That’s why I am so lucky.

I got away.

But that couldn’t be the solution for millions of women in Indonesia (and many other countries like Indonesia). Not everybody could get away from that kind of situation.

Maybe.

Maybe Yuyun case is different.

If there should be a silver lining from this terribly sad story, it must be that this could be the turning point for Indonesia and law to protect women in this country. Maybe Yuyun would be the Indonesian equivalent for the Indian Jyoti Singh. Maybe this time everybody will take action.

One can only hope.

 

Indonesia Is Not All Doom And Gloom…

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In the midst of news like religious intolerance, LGBT intolerance, corruption, and also child rape, I saw this one article about a foreign national being killed in Bali. I remember I thought to myself: “Oh no. Another human rights violation  now?”

And then I read the whole story.

source: rappler.com

This foreign guy is apparently an ex MMA fighter, and from the photo I could see it too. He looks like a tough guy with muscles as big as coconuts He lived in Bali, with his visitor visa which is already expired, and while he was there he was pretty much being a thug — carrying knife everywhere for the purpose of mugging for money, threatening restaurant owners and refusing to pay for food and drink, and also trying to have sex with someone else’s wife. It’s been awhile on facebook until someone suggested to report this to the police.

And they did.

So, police send him a request to come to the station for questioning. He didn’t show up. So, few police came to his place to arrest him, and later to deport him on the base of the expired visa. But thing went south from here.

Instead of going peacefully, this guy started to threaten the police with knife. Not only resisting arrest, he managed to attack and stab a police officer several time to death. Other cops have given three warning shot to the air, but he still didn’t stop.

source: straitstimes.com

So, in the end he was shot and died.

The other photo is pretty grim, and I suspect it has been taken down because I couldn’t find it any more. But it doesn’t matter. What matters is that I found this quite positive.

Yes, I am sorry that he is dead. I send my deepest and sincerest condolences to his family. But how about the family of the police officer he stabbed? How about the safety of other people in Bali? This is not ideal, but I will back this action if its needed because I believe this is the right thing to do.

This is not the only time Indonesia has put her foot down against foreign threat. The execution of Bali Nine is the other thing. And also our Maritime Minister Susi Pudjiastuti who burned and sunk foreign ships who entered our water without proper permit.

source: 1shareindonesia.blogspot.com

Indonesia is not all doom and gloom. It grows its backbone and now getting stronger. I hope it is not only tough to foreigner but also to domestic threat — home grown terrorists, radicalised group, intolerance and assault to minority groups etc.

Superbyq 6th Anniversary

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I can’t believe it is April already. I means, Superbyq is now 6 years old. Hurrah!!!

If it is a human child — a girl, definitely. Superbyq is a girl. If this blog is a little girl, she would probably doing her homework as she has to go to school tomorrow. Or not? Tomorrow is Sunday, isn’t it?

Anyway. If it is a little girl, she would be in primary school. Probably second year already. Anyway… it makes me wonder how old it is the minimum age for a child to be sent to school in the UK. I think it is 5 year old is the age when a child is sent to Primary School.

6 years.

Really.

This is definitely the longest serious commitment I have ever made in my life. It is personal, and I have invested so much — material and immaterial.

I know that I should have dedicated more time for this blog, and I do feel bad that I haven’t. But I don’t want to feel bad today, as this is Superbyq’s birthday, and… we’re going to have something to drink tonight…

 

Prost!