Tag Archives: bingung

Kabayan…

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Salah satu hal yang paling saya sukai adalah ngobrol dengan orang pinter. Ngobrol dengan orang pinter — nggak harus ngobrol langsung lah, lewat facebook status aja misalnya, bisa menginspirasi saya. Dari inspirasi… tada… blog post!

Pernah denger tentang Kabayan? Kalo kamu seumuran sama saya, pasti kamu inget tokoh Kabayan dari buku pelajaran SD, atau dari film layar lebar si Kabayan yang diperankan oleh almarhum Didi Petet. Saya sendiri mengenal Kabayan lebih dekat karena papa saya yang asalnya dari Tasikmalaya, sangat suka dengan karaktern ini. Ya… Kabayan memang quintessentially Sunda. *mati gue, quintessential itu Bahasa Indonesianya apa ya?*

Karakter Kabayan ini digambarkan sebagai seorang yang berasal dari kampung, biasanya pengangguran proletar, juga tidak pernah mengenyam bangku sekolah formal. Tapi, si Kabayan ini selain setengah mati jatuh cinta pada Nyi Iteung, anak gadis si Abah dan Ambu, juga terkenal baik hati dan cerdik luar biasa. Biasanya cerita berkisar mengenai Kabayan yang terlibat masalah karena Abah tidak menyetujui hubungannya dengan Nyi Iteung, tapi berhasil mengelabuhi Abah yang terkenal sebagai tokoh berpendidikan di kampungnya…

Ngerti kan?

Mau dibawa ke mana pembicaraan ini? Well… Ceritanya beberapa menit yang lalu saya membaca, mengomentari, dan akhirnya terlibat diskusi singkat dengan… um… si Gigit (sebut aja begitu, karena dia hobi membuat status facebook yang mengigit… oke? Terima aja). Nah, dari obrolan itu, saya dan si Gigit punya teori yang berbeda tentang orang bodoh, dan orang yang tidak berpendidikan.

Menurut saya, ada perbedaan yang mendasar antara orang bodoh, dan orang yang tidak berpendidikan. Meskipun keduanya sama-sama tidak diuntungkan keadaan, kita bisa mendidik orang yang tidak berpendidikan menjadi orang terdidik, tapi kita tidak bisa memintarkan orang yang pada dasarnya bodoh. Saya selalu menganalogikan otak manusia seperti prosesor komputer.

Orang bodoh adalah orang dengan kapasitas otak Intel Celeron… bagi yang masih muda dan imut, dan belom pernah denger Intel Celeron, itu adalah prosesor sebelum Intel Pentium, dan Intel Pentium adalah prosesor sebelum Intel Core. Sedangkan orang tidak berpendidikan itu adalah orang dengan HD yang masih kosong, karena belom download software apa-apa. Orang tidak berpendidikan bisa dididik, sama seperti kita bisa mengisi HD yang kosong… tapi kalo prosesornya ble’e, ya percuma softwarenya tidak bisa dipakai — seperti orang bodoh, bisa dikasih tahu tapi belom tentu mereka ngerti bagaimana menggunakan pengetahuan itu.

Bagaimana kamu tau itu orang pintar atau bodoh? Atau apakah dia berpendidikan atau tidak?

Seperti biasa saya punya pendapat yang tidak terlalu populer, tapi berhubung saya ngomong di blog saya sendiri, jadi tidak ada yang menyensor. Ahaay…

Menurut saya, tidak ada alat ukur pintar-bodoh, cantik/bagus-jelek, sehat-sakit, gendut-kurus, dan lain sebagainya yang mutlak dan sempurna. Tapi, ada alat ukur, dan secara definisi, yang namanya alat ukur itu harus bisa distandardisasi, dan standardisasi paling oke adalah yang bisa dikuantifikasi — artinya bisa ditunjukkan dengan angka… Misalnya, buat standar bagus/cantik-jelek kita punya golden ratio Fibonacci (kalo bingung, google! jangan males…). Kalau mau standar gendut-kurus kita pake standar BMI. Pintar bodoh pun bisa diukur dengan test IQ.

Yaa yaa yaa… IQ bukan segalanya, ada EQ ada SQ whatever… Saya ga peduli dengan yang dua terakhir itu. Tidak ada standardisasi EQ atau SQ, dan tanpa standar ukur, saya akan selalu ragukan objektivitas pengukurnya.

Balik ke si Kabayan ya? Saya yakin kalau Kabayan bisa dites IQ, dia bisa jadi punya IQ di atas rata-rata. Banyak kok orang dengan IQ tinggi tapi tidak sekolah. Banyak juga orang dengan IQ rendah lulus dengan nilai bagus di sekolah — kerja keras itu ngepek, Bro. Tapi maksudnya apa saya ngomong panjang lebar tentang ini, dan hubungannya dengan pembicaraan saya dengan si Gigit?

Jadi gini, Git… Kalo orang itu bodo, ya udah kamu nggak bisa ngapa-ngapain lagi. Ini menjawab pertanyaan: Kok bisa sih lulusan universitas negeri terkenal di Indonesia percaya sama teori bumi datar? Atau, kok bisa sih lulusan luar negeri macam si Blabla masih kolot, dan rasis macam begitu? Karena kita bisa mendidik orang bodoh, tapi kita tidak bisa membuat orang bodoh menjadi pintar… Ini masalah kapasitas otak, dan sayangnya sampai saat ini ga banyak cara untuk mengupgrade otak setelah lewat golden age. Buat orang-orang yang udah terlanjur tua dan bego, kamu bener… kita cuma bisa kasian karena buat mereka sudah terlambat…

Dan kamu juga bener, ini juga efek over populasi. Semakin banyak anak, semakin sedikit perhatian yang bisa diberikan kepada mereka di saat golden age mereka. Tidak cukup nutrisi, tidak cukup pendidikan. Tapi ini satu-satunya solusi yang bisa saya pikirkan buat memintarkan generasi berikutnya. Generasi hari ini udah kadung, Sis…

 

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Letter… Letters… I Don’t Even Want To Write

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Preface

For the last few entries, I have written (what some people called) heavy subjects. I was thinking of writing something light and cheerful to lift the mood a little. This blog can’t be always gloomy, does it? Does it?

But then a call home and everything changed. I was no longer in the mood because of the news I had heard from home. I’ve been holding this for awhile, and there are not many people in the world I could talk to (especially about this particular matter). Therefore, I decided to write a letter instead.

To My Sister

I’ve been known to write open letters for my siblings. One for my brother when he reached adulthood, another for your (other) sister when she got married. I think it is about time that I write something for you. Unfortunately, this time it is not the joyful moment that brought me to the moment I am writing this to you.

Since we were very young, it’s been drilled in our head that we have to stand up for each other. We are pretty much brainwashed in a way. And, until today I am still doing that for every single one of my siblings. I stood up for every one of you, and will do it again and again. And again. The same way you stood up for your sister when we were in Primary School. Although in the end you cried after that boy clawed your face, you did stand up for her.

You don’t know how proud I was when I heard that from my friend — that my sister who just graduated from kindergarten could confront an older boy and fight him to the bitter end.

But how do you stand up for your loved one, when you know that they’re in the wrong? How do you support someone when you are bitterly disappointed with the decision they took? This… Is something that I’d have to work out.

I remember you and your sister must have endured the same thing when I was dating Si Onyed. I am sorry to put you in such a situation. But haven’t you learned from my mistakes? You are the smartest of us all… don’t you see it now what you saw before? Don’t you remember what you told Si Onyed when she confronted you about why you didn’t like her?

This is what you said: “I don’t have problem with you. But if you upset my mother, or any other people in my family, then I don’t want to have anything to do with you.”

Don’t you think it is safe to say that I might have the same feeling about your boyfriend? That I don’t have any problem with him, as a person. Because he might be a generous, kind hearted, smart and humorous. But don’t you see that what both of you (means he included) did was hurting Mum? My mum. Our mum.

Couldn’t you see it from our point of view that… well well.. If this little request from our parents was refused outright before you two are married, how could we expect him to help our parents when big things happened after you’re married? It is normal to think like that, isn’t it? It is normal to assume, and project what is going to happen in the future, based on what we see today, isn’t it?

I can’t talk to you about this now. But as this has stressed me out for the last few weeks, I feel the need to vent out my feeling here. You might not read this — well… you are most likely not going to read this, but maybe one day it will come to your phone or computer for you to see. But until then… please take care of yourself. I love you.

Your Sister

Bybyq

Home

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I know… I know it is a late post, but as I always say… better late than never. You could disagree with that, but let’s agree to disagree. Agree?

Yes. I am home. In this case I am now back in Norwich after a whole month holiday in Indonesia. You might ask me, what I have achieved during my whole month of doing nothing in my parents’ house. Of course you might. And I might answer: WISDOM.

I think “wisdom” sounds much better than “nothing… really”.

Alright… I did not really achieve nothing. Okay? I got something done. I had my hair cut, and dyed it purple (yay me!!), I met my family and some of my friends, and caught up with the latest news, I also had a coil contraception placed inside my tummy (stories about it — coming soon). I also did a little research and looked around the city and contemplating the “what if”.

The very what if we rarely mentioned before.

“What if Mr.Fix-It and I move to Indonesia?”

Of course it is silly considering today’s social and political situation in Indonesia. I really can’t see me living in a country where LGBT is still considered as illegal. I have been living here where people could be themselves without any kind of social punishment — for being themselves. I can’t see how can I live among people who condemn LGBT — even among them are some of my closest relatives (stories about it — coming soon).

But most of all, a month in Indonesia teaches me what it means to be home, or even… what home means for me.

People said that home is where the heart is. I believe so too. But what if you don’t know where your heart should be? My family is still in Indonesia. My parents, my sisters, my brother… my dogs. Life is much easier there as I could get stuff done without lifting my middle finger.  But… at the same time, my one and only beloved husband is here in Norwich. I am the queen of my own kitchen. I am the lady of my own house. My knitting projects are here… My heart is utterly confused.

How do I decide where home is?

Well… apparently it was quite simple. On the day I arrived in Norwich, after 10 minutes taxi ride, I found this:

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It is stuck in my front door by my husband. When I saw it, I knew I was… HOME.

Superbyq is Moving… Again…

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I don’t know why but it seems that I have never learned my lessons. But forgive me, that after all these five years with me, you will have to listen again how frustrating it is to move my blog from one place to another. Yes… I am moving Superbyq from iPage.

First of all, I am moving superbyq to wordpress.com. Few days ago iPage sent me an invoice for my incoming renewal — yes I was aware that it was that time of the year again. But unlike so many others, I do read my e-mails, and realised that in that invoice they said that they were going to charge me £250++ for two years service. That is outrageous really.

I can understand if they need to raise the price. It is understandable that the price could not stay there forever. But bumping price from £56+ for two year to £250+? That is just preposterous. I am not having it. I did not even want to know how they dared to bump the price 4x the original price. I just thought it was an unfair business trick, as I know some amateur blogger like me would probably stop looking around for a new web hosting, or not reading their bank statement, or e-mails. But not me. I am basically a blogger without a regular income, I do care about every single penny come out from my wallet. So £250+?? Go eat dirt…

That’s how I moved my blog…  here. For now (when I wrote this), this blog is called superbyqcom.wordpress.com. I admit I could have had something nicer for the name, but oh well… I believe it would only be temporary anyway. I would map (I really don’t know the technicality of this), superbyq.com so… by the end of the process you would be able to go to superbyq.com like usual. Sorry for the incovenience…

I realised that my domain name service is about to end as well… so I decided that I might as well cut off my relationship once and for all from iPage and go to GoDaddy instead.

Right… I thought iPage customer service was awesome. They’re quick, and they solved problems. They were polite and helpful. But gee, GoDaddy’s customer service was top notch. They were friendly, helpful, and managed to calm me down, because… you see… moving Superbyq has always been stressful experience for me. And this one is definitely not an exception.

As much as I love being treated with all that formality, I think for this particular case I would like someone who can explain to me with the commoners’ language. I have to say that GoDaddy’s customer service who chatted with me at that time — Tyler (yes I remember because he was incredibly nice to me at that time). I suppose Tyler is a guy, so I would not expect him to look like this:

Okay. This is probably too early to say that GoDaddy is better than iPage. Because one weird thing about their page is that at first, I could find the chat button. So I could chat with them… typey-typey. But then, when I tried to talk to them again, I cannot find the button again. So I had to phone up to ask about my problem. For someone who hates talking on the phone, this is quite frustrating. Luckily the guy on the other side of the line was quite friendly and patient enough to explain what’s going on with my domain transfer.

Right. I will see you again. And I hope next time I will see you in the new Superbyq.com — instead of superbyqcom.wordpress.com. Not that I think [insertyourwebsitehere].wordpress.com is a bad thing… but… oh well. I should shut up.

Prost!

Migrant Crisis and Refugee Situation…

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It’s been months now that the media pressing about the story about the EU migrant crisis. It has been discussed probably too many times, and been seen from so many different angles. So, what is my position to this migrant stories?

Hm…

Let me start slow.

Al-Jazeera said that they would stop using the word migrant to describe the Syrian people trying to seek help, and instead using the word: Refugee. I could not agree more with them, because there’s a fundamental difference between a refugee and an immigrant. However, a refugee status can only be given to those who are under a direct threat in their own country.

Our family once thought of that when May 1998 riot broke in Solo. As Chinese Indonesians were being targeted, tortured, raped, and or killed, we thought it was the best for us to flee the country to seek asylum. But we didn’t. Our relationships with our neighbours, and my father’s networks helped our family. Things got better for us too, although slowly and painful. But I know many of our friends and family fled for their lives — some even never came back.

I apologised for this particularly disturbing photos #sorrynotsorry

So, I understand how it feels to choose between staying and risking your and your family’s lives, and take whatever you can, flee and start over in a land of strangers. I remember holding my passport when we were hiding in a hospital, while doctors and nurses are making human shield and barricaded the building, knowing that they weren’t the ones the mobs targeted. My mother told me that if things went south, I needed to go to Singapore and we would meet again there. She was as unsure as I was, of course, but we did not say anything.

It sucks.

Singapore was of course only an hour flight from Solo. That’s probably one of our closest neighbours, which would accept us being ethnically Chinese.

But then again, we didn’t go. These Syrians refugees did. And, I don’t blame them for fleeing their country. They could die if they have stayed. It’s just human nature to try to survive no matter how bad the situation could be.

Unfortunately, when it is as big as Middle Eastern conflict, it is not going to be that simple. After ISIS went on a rampage, millions of people were forced to flee for their lives and seek asylum. “Millions” is a big number, and some of these people are very particular about where they would want to go. Germany, Switzerland, England, France are probably the main destination… but why?

Many people saw this picky attitude as slightly rude, some grumpily said that they’re being ungrateful. Some of them were welcomed in Hungary (Hungarian government complying with the EU immigration rules that asylum seeker should be given refugee status at the first country they arrived in), but protesting and wreaking havoc because they wanted to go to Germany and Austria. Some of them could have seek asylum safely in France, but forced their way by breaking law to enter the UK. And some of them are not a real refugees — some were found to be illegal immigrants taking advantage of the chaotic border situation in the European land.

Like I said, I can understand how it feels to be helpless, because I was there too. But, I cannot blame this negative attitude toward the whole European migrant crisis thing. I cannot blame the government for taking an extra caution, considering there are resentment among their own citizen. Easy example: The angry far right Germans radicals decided to burn the refugees shelter, causing deaths.

Is that what you want?

So… If you ask me what is my position about the whole refugee thing…. this is my position:

EU has a rule. If the refugees want to be given the asylum they wanted, they should go by the rules. If they’re being picky, then the EU countries should be allowed to be picky too. If the refugees don’t want to go by the rules, then EU countries should be allowed to refuse them asylum. I think it’s the only way it could be fair for both of them.

But that’s me.

 

 

Surprises

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Si Monyed selalu bingung kenapa saya tidak suka dengan kejutan.

Mungkin beberapa bisa mulai menganggap saya sebagai tipe orang yang tidak romantis, meskipun saya tidak akan mengakuinya. Menurut saya, saya cukup romantis kok, tanpa harus disertai dengan kejutan apapun. Tetapi seandainya ketidak sukaan saya terhadap kejutan kemudian membuat saya harus digolongkan ke dalam kategori manusia tidak romantis, saya tidak akan menolak. Karena, saya lebih rela disebut sebagai manusia tidak romantis, daripada saya harus belajar menyukai kejutan.

Ketidak sukaan saya terhadap kejutan, tentunya bukan tanpa alasan. Karena saya adalah manusia yang penuh alasan, tentunya. Tapi saya yakin alasan saya ini dapat dinalar.

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Excuse Me. Do I Owe You Something?

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Dalam sebuah film karya Joko Anwar yang berjudul “Pintu Terlarang”, saya mendapati sebuah statement yang lumayan fenomenal (bagi saya). Saya tidak tahu apakah di novel karya Sekar Ayu Asmara, yang juga berjudul sama, ada kalimat ini atau tidak. Saya rasa yang sudah menonton film “Pintu Terlarang” pasti tahu:

“Tidak ada seorang anak pun yang ingin dilahirkan ke dunia ini”

Sebenarnya, beberapa tahun sebelum saya menonton film ini, saya pernah mendengar pernyataan yang isinya kurang lebih sama dari seorang teman. Teman yang saya kenal di sebuah forum ini (sekali lagi, saya tidak main ke forum TERBESAR se Indonesia, melainkan bagi saya, secara subjektif, forum yang saya kunjungi ini adalah forum terbaik se-Indonesia) mengatakan bahwa:

“Merawat anak, dan membesarkannya sampai dewasa adalah KEWAJIBAN orang tua dan bukan hutang anak kepada orang tuanya”

Atau kira-kira semacam itu.

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Indonesia VS Malaysia di Mata Bybyq

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Beberapa hari lamanya saya dan adik saya si Mon itu terlibat di pembicaraan mengenai Indonesia versus Malaysia. Dan sebagai warga negara yang baik (yang meskipun sering dianak tirikan dan sering tidak dianggap oleh warga negara yang lain) saya merasa tersinggung dengan tindakan-tindakan yang dilakukan oleh pemerintah Malaysia.

Saya dan Mon berandai-andai, apa yang akan kami lakukan seandainya kami ini adalah pemerintah republik Indonesia. Apa yang akan kami lakukan terhadap Malaysia?

Memutuskan hubungan diplomatik sepertinya merupakan satu langkah strategis. Saya tidak mengerti apa yang ditakutkan oleh pemerintah kita sampai menarik diplomat kita dari sana saja tidak bisa. TKI yang ada di sana, juga bisa ditarik pulang, toh masih banyak negara-negara lain yang mau memakai TKI dan saya yakin sebenarnya pemerintah bisa memberikan lapangan pekerjaan. Kalau mau. Tapi sayangnya saya tidak melihat niatan tersebut dari Pemerintah Republik Indonesia.

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Missing My Updates?

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Ya kan? Ya kan?

Baiklah, mumpung saya lagi kepingin untuk mengupdate, sebaiknya kalian siap-siap karena ini akan menjadi satu entry yang panjang dan lama. Sedikit menyedihkan dan menyakitkan bagi saya yang menulisnya, tapi saya harap akan worth the time 😀

Pertama-tama saya harus mengucapkan “fuck google”!

Salah satu google account saya dihapus oleh google entah apa sebabnya. Yang pasti sekarang account tersebut, yang sengaja saya buat untuk segala macam pekerjaan sekarang hilang ditelan bumi. Dan, oh! Itu juga termasuk semua blog yang saya punya. So, kalau kalian tiba-tiba kangen sama MWWYT dan mau nengok ke sana, kalian ga kaan bisa lagi melihatnya.

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A Golden Cage

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Beberapa hari terakhir di kampus memang lain dari biasanya. Yang biasanya penuh dengan mahasiswa, sekarang berhubung hari libur, penuh dengan calon mahasiswa dan ibu-ibu.

Memang ada sedikit hal yang berbeda di kampus ini dibandingkan di kampus yang lain. Kalau di kampus lain, mungkin kebanyakan mahasiswanya datang secara mandiri kekampus, atau pergi berombongan dengan teman-temannya, tapi di kampus saya ini semua dilakukan oleh ibunya. Bisa jadi hal ini disebabkan banyaknya mahasiswa pendatang dari luar Jakarta, membuat si Ibu menjadi khawatir melepaskan anaknya. Saya masih sedikit bisa memaklumi bahwa mahasiswa baru membutuhkan kehadiran sang Ibu.

Saya jadi ingat…

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