Tag Archives: bodoh



Salah satu hal yang paling saya sukai adalah ngobrol dengan orang pinter. Ngobrol dengan orang pinter — nggak harus ngobrol langsung lah, lewat facebook status aja misalnya, bisa menginspirasi saya. Dari inspirasi… tada… blog post!

Pernah denger tentang Kabayan? Kalo kamu seumuran sama saya, pasti kamu inget tokoh Kabayan dari buku pelajaran SD, atau dari film layar lebar si Kabayan yang diperankan oleh almarhum Didi Petet. Saya sendiri mengenal Kabayan lebih dekat karena papa saya yang asalnya dari Tasikmalaya, sangat suka dengan karaktern ini. Ya… Kabayan memang quintessentially Sunda. *mati gue, quintessential itu Bahasa Indonesianya apa ya?*

Karakter Kabayan ini digambarkan sebagai seorang yang berasal dari kampung, biasanya pengangguran proletar, juga tidak pernah mengenyam bangku sekolah formal. Tapi, si Kabayan ini selain setengah mati jatuh cinta pada Nyi Iteung, anak gadis si Abah dan Ambu, juga terkenal baik hati dan cerdik luar biasa. Biasanya cerita berkisar mengenai Kabayan yang terlibat masalah karena Abah tidak menyetujui hubungannya dengan Nyi Iteung, tapi berhasil mengelabuhi Abah yang terkenal sebagai tokoh berpendidikan di kampungnya…

Ngerti kan?

Mau dibawa ke mana pembicaraan ini? Well… Ceritanya beberapa menit yang lalu saya membaca, mengomentari, dan akhirnya terlibat diskusi singkat dengan… um… si Gigit (sebut aja begitu, karena dia hobi membuat status facebook yang mengigit… oke? Terima aja). Nah, dari obrolan itu, saya dan si Gigit punya teori yang berbeda tentang orang bodoh, dan orang yang tidak berpendidikan.

Menurut saya, ada perbedaan yang mendasar antara orang bodoh, dan orang yang tidak berpendidikan. Meskipun keduanya sama-sama tidak diuntungkan keadaan, kita bisa mendidik orang yang tidak berpendidikan menjadi orang terdidik, tapi kita tidak bisa memintarkan orang yang pada dasarnya bodoh. Saya selalu menganalogikan otak manusia seperti prosesor komputer.

Orang bodoh adalah orang dengan kapasitas otak Intel Celeron… bagi yang masih muda dan imut, dan belom pernah denger Intel Celeron, itu adalah prosesor sebelum Intel Pentium, dan Intel Pentium adalah prosesor sebelum Intel Core. Sedangkan orang tidak berpendidikan itu adalah orang dengan HD yang masih kosong, karena belom download software apa-apa. Orang tidak berpendidikan bisa dididik, sama seperti kita bisa mengisi HD yang kosong… tapi kalo prosesornya ble’e, ya percuma softwarenya tidak bisa dipakai — seperti orang bodoh, bisa dikasih tahu tapi belom tentu mereka ngerti bagaimana menggunakan pengetahuan itu.

Bagaimana kamu tau itu orang pintar atau bodoh? Atau apakah dia berpendidikan atau tidak?

Seperti biasa saya punya pendapat yang tidak terlalu populer, tapi berhubung saya ngomong di blog saya sendiri, jadi tidak ada yang menyensor. Ahaay…

Menurut saya, tidak ada alat ukur pintar-bodoh, cantik/bagus-jelek, sehat-sakit, gendut-kurus, dan lain sebagainya yang mutlak dan sempurna. Tapi, ada alat ukur, dan secara definisi, yang namanya alat ukur itu harus bisa distandardisasi, dan standardisasi paling oke adalah yang bisa dikuantifikasi — artinya bisa ditunjukkan dengan angka… Misalnya, buat standar bagus/cantik-jelek kita punya golden ratio Fibonacci (kalo bingung, google! jangan males…). Kalau mau standar gendut-kurus kita pake standar BMI. Pintar bodoh pun bisa diukur dengan test IQ.

Yaa yaa yaa… IQ bukan segalanya, ada EQ ada SQ whatever… Saya ga peduli dengan yang dua terakhir itu. Tidak ada standardisasi EQ atau SQ, dan tanpa standar ukur, saya akan selalu ragukan objektivitas pengukurnya.

Balik ke si Kabayan ya? Saya yakin kalau Kabayan bisa dites IQ, dia bisa jadi punya IQ di atas rata-rata. Banyak kok orang dengan IQ tinggi tapi tidak sekolah. Banyak juga orang dengan IQ rendah lulus dengan nilai bagus di sekolah — kerja keras itu ngepek, Bro. Tapi maksudnya apa saya ngomong panjang lebar tentang ini, dan hubungannya dengan pembicaraan saya dengan si Gigit?

Jadi gini, Git… Kalo orang itu bodo, ya udah kamu nggak bisa ngapa-ngapain lagi. Ini menjawab pertanyaan: Kok bisa sih lulusan universitas negeri terkenal di Indonesia percaya sama teori bumi datar? Atau, kok bisa sih lulusan luar negeri macam si Blabla masih kolot, dan rasis macam begitu? Karena kita bisa mendidik orang bodoh, tapi kita tidak bisa membuat orang bodoh menjadi pintar… Ini masalah kapasitas otak, dan sayangnya sampai saat ini ga banyak cara untuk mengupgrade otak setelah lewat golden age. Buat orang-orang yang udah terlanjur tua dan bego, kamu bener… kita cuma bisa kasian karena buat mereka sudah terlambat…

Dan kamu juga bener, ini juga efek over populasi. Semakin banyak anak, semakin sedikit perhatian yang bisa diberikan kepada mereka di saat golden age mereka. Tidak cukup nutrisi, tidak cukup pendidikan. Tapi ini satu-satunya solusi yang bisa saya pikirkan buat memintarkan generasi berikutnya. Generasi hari ini udah kadung, Sis…



Don’t Be Gay in Indonesia!?!


I thought we were past this now, and I cannot believe that today, in 2016 I have to write about LGBT again. *deep sigh* *find a happy place*


I tried to find articles about LGBT I have written in the past. I couldn’t find them. Do you know why? Probably, I have never written about LGBT before. And do you know why? Maybe, in the past people were not such an asshole like people in Indonesia today. Maybe in the past, despite of their opinion about us, they would just leave us alone. Or maybe in the past, people were nicer without so called religions.

from upi.com

I don’t know. All I know is that now media tried to picture us as the bad guy of the universe. Not the people who bombed buildings, not terrorists who ran around shooting police officers, not the group of people who destroy buildings and businesses in the name of their oh-so-mighty-god. Oh no… not the religious leaders who molested their apprentices/students-whatever, not the wife beating abusive father drunken thug who litters on the street. No. The enemy is us… What a sick, twisted mind, that could produce such an ignorant conclusion – thinking that LGBT is a problem?

Or maybe they just don’t think? You know… thinking is a sign of intelligence. Considering Indonesian’s average IQ is only 87 — and there are ten of thousands of us with IQ more than 100 (with some people with IQ more than 130 in Mensa Indonesia), there must be millions of people with IQ lower than 80. It is borderline intellectual functioning. Isn’t it? No wonder they are just so dense… no wonder they failed to contemplate this:

Translated from Bahasa Indonesia: “if a GAY sexually abuses someone, people blame their GAY-ness. Why is it that if a STRAIGHT does the same, it is the individual that gets the blame? (Why don’t you blame their STRAIGHT-ness – as the reason why they sexually abuse people?)

It is 2016. It’s been 10 years since I got acquainted with LGBT communities — from si Onyed, obviously. Superbyq is about to have it’s 6th anniversary. It’s been more than 4 years since I left Indonesia, and almost 2 years of being married. And Indonesia… is going backwards, instead of catching up with other civilised countries. What the F is going on?

Our Minister of Research and Technology made a statement about banning LGBT from campuses. Our so called Mental Health practitioner “revised” the universally acknowledged DSM to his own version and called homosexuals and transgenders as mentally ill. Now, not only the so called religion of peace are making long marches to demonstrate their ignorance on the street, the other religions are following their footstep in the bigotry lane.

If several days ago, Mr. Fix-It and I had the “what if” idea, and thinking of coming back to Indonesia and live there. Now, I don’t think that is the case. I don’t want to live in Indonesia. I don’t think I could live among these people. I don’t think I could survive living among these idea. I don’t think, I could give up my freedom of being me, and going back to where I have to deny my own identity.

I am so glad that in Indonesia we still have people like MerryDT who is still trying to educate these bunch of dimwits — because I have to admit, I don’t have the patience to face these kind of people. People like her are the reason I can still have hope that this country could bounce back and catch up with modern civilisation. But, until then, I would rather stay here where I could raise my rainbow flag, wave it around with pride.

Like I said before… this is a grim time to be an Indonesian.


Law and Justice


Mirna’s Case is now elevated to the next level as the Police Investigator has decided to change the status of one of the witnesses to ‘suspect’. J, the woman who has been under scrutiny for her so called suspicious attitude in front of the media was arrested and now detained.

J is now charge for a first degree murder — pembunuhan berencana or “planned murder” if it’s freely translated to Bahasa Indonesia. So, according to the police, J is responsible for (1) plan, and intention to murder, (2) execute the murder — successfully.

Many people are happy with this arrest, which is totally understandable as it is very much unsettling to have a murderer roaming around the city. However, there are many people believes that this arrest is premature, or some might say that it is unlawful. There is no physical evidence which link this woman to the murder itself — apart from her being in the crime scene.

There are at least three experts who disagreed with this arrest. No. None of them said that they think J is innocent, but they disagreed with how the police and the media has drive the public opinion into believing that she is guilty. Even with big media such as our national tv station, inviting the “body language experts”, saying in front of the audience that J’s smile means she’s lying and so on and so forth.

As a linguist, and a communication academia, I can say that what these experts said was totally and utterly rubbish.

These are other experts, which according my own opinion are worth listening. Listen to the logic, and if you have it, use your brain too…

1. Asep Iwan Iriawan
Asep Iwan Iriawan is a former judge and now an expert in judicial system. He believed that there is no link between J and the murder. Yes it is true that J was there when Mirna drank the coffee, and J was the first one who arrived at the scee. J threw away the trousers she wore that day, and she seemed so calm and smile in front of media. She is definitely suspicious.
But none of the think mentioned above — according to Asep, showed that J was the one who put cyanide in Mirna’s coffee. Even the CCTV — which is supposed to be the strongest evidence didn’t show that.
Asep even said as far as: “If I was the judge… with those [so-called] evidence, I’ll let her go”.

2. Reza Indragiri Amriel
I haven’t heard about him before this case, but apparently he is a Forensic Psychologist. So, I trust him better than a hypnotherapist in this particular case. What does a hypnotherapist know about a murder case anyway… sigh. This country is sick.
As an expert Reza didn’t think that J is the murderer. He argued that cyanide is not a kind of poison anyone could acquire easily in Indonesia. Metro TV tried to do it on NSI programme, by sending some investigative journalist to buy cyanide from chemist and chemical store, with no avail. It is almost impossible for J, a girl who lives in australia to know her way in the city to get cyanide.
And, he’s also believes that any “body language experts” who jumped into a conclusion that when someone blinks it means that they’re lying, or if someone smiles it means that they’re hiding something… are bulshitting the public. I agree with him in this.

3. Heru Susetyo
This is also the first time I heard about him, so I am not sure about his credibility. Apparently he is a Victimology Experts from Universitas Indonesia. Still a better credibility than a hypnotherapist in this particular murder case.
He said that the police investigators are reckless in confirming J as the suspect. He believed that as this case became big and that the media has blow this up to the surface, the police felt more and more pressure. The drama of this murder case has driven the police to a rush conclusion, while indeed in fact there’s no physical evidence linking J to anything.
He believes that J has been victimised both by the media and police officer because the society pushed them to solve this quickly.

Mirna’s father, was the loudest to fight for justice for her daughter. It is completely understandable for a father to do that when his daughter died in such a way. But it has to be understood that he is emotional too — he might not be able to see this case rationally. That is why in any criminal investigation, there should never be any personal relationship between the investigator and the case they’re working on. It will be bias.

Like Mirna’s father, I’d like the justice to be served too. Definitely. But as a citizen of Indonesia, I would be wary if this is how the “justice” should be served. I would like the law to be upheld, so that everyone would be protected by it. It scares me that the public opinion could pressure the police officers to take whoever they have in hand as the suspect just to calm down the mob, and give fake closure to the family of the victim. It sounds like desperation for me.

I am not saying that J is not the murderer. But if it is her, I would like the investigation to be lawful, and not based on bogus experts opinion, and circumstantial evidences… not a strong ones either. I wish everybody the best… the justice’s served and the law upheld.

good luck.

No Uterus, No Opinion


** disclaimer: lots of swear words, so if you don’t like it you can get the fuck out**

One of the reasons why I would like to spend weeks in Indonesia is because I want to see a Gynaecologist. I have been waiting for about three months to get a coil inserted, but I haven’t got one until today. And I am tired of taking pills. It has changed my mood, changed my body, and I just found out today that I have gained at least 8 kgs. I know that waiting is not an option for me, I just want to get this over with and move on to the better part of my life.

So I saw a Gynaecologist today. Told him that I want to get a coil inserted. I have done my homework, done my research. I know the pro and cons, and I know the possible pain and also possible side effects. I know almost everything I need to know before I see the doctor. And I bloody know that that bloody thing can be installed inside my fuckin womb any time of the day. ANY FUCKING TIME.

and this is the link: https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/birth-control/iud

This so called Gynaecologist is my mum’s doctor. It is said that he is one of the best in my hometown. Maybe. Maybe it is because he is one of the oldest, so he has got more experience in his hand. But now you have a clue that he’s probably not the best for me.

He is a guy.

He is old.

Old guy doesn’t know what a woman my age needs, and wants. I WANT a copper coil to be stuck in my womb, because I NEED to make sure I am not going to get pregnant. And he doesn’t understand it. He kept mentioning that I am not 30, and that I might want to have a child first before going ahead with the idea of contraception. Why the fuck I am seeing him for a bloody IUD if I want to have a fucking child?

I am fumed now. So pardon my language.

He kept asking about my husband and whether he wants a child or not. Why the fuck everybody asks about his decision? This is my fucking womb and I make the fucking decision. Can’t his bloody brain process that fucking little information? Of course not. My womb, my decision. My womb, my decision. It will be my decision if I would like to let a life sucking parasites growing inside me for a nine fucking months or not. Not people around me. Especially not men.

I started to realised that the lights in the end of the tunnel might be the train coming towards me when the doctor told me that he could only do it when I am having period. I know my request to him to make me infertile is futile because I know he is lying. I CAN get the coil inserted any times of the month. Any fucking time. It might be a little bit painful, but I knew it already.

He also emphasised on how painful it could be when it is inserted to someone who has not yet have a child. I knew it too. Like I said, I have done my homework. Afterall, talking about pain… giving birth to babies is more painful than any coil insertion, I suppose?

I asked about a more permanent solution — fertilisation. And he just rejected the idea outright. Maybe the light in the end of the tunnel is really a train.

I went home with horrible feeling. I had some much hope. I have never had any thought of self harming until the day the doctor sent me home without any assurance on when I could get the coil done for me. I thought of stabbing myself in the stomach to damage the womb permanently, or the ovary, or whatever, so that the doctor would have to take it away from me. I don’t want it. I want it go away.

So… What am I going to do now?

I am not going to take more pills. And, I am going to find a way to get myself impregnable. One way or another. And if there’s any one of you have anything against this decision, I have a knock knock game for you.

Me: Knock! Knock!
You: Who’s there?
Me: Nona
You: Nona who?
Me: Nona your business you motherfucker…


This Is My Rainbow…


I am so sorry that I haven’t written much lately. There was not enough time or things to say, but today, I feel compelled to write this.

The reason why I changed my facebook profile photo with rainbow.


After the USA legalised gay marriage, Facebook celebrates and supports this event by featuring an app that can change your profile photo to a rainbow. Yeah, that one. You know what I am talking about.

Initially, I did not want to change my photo. I do not like to be carried out in a wave or mainstream trends, and I think the rainbow looks a bit tacky. After all, I believed that I have purged and filtered through my friendlist and was quite sure that I only have gay friendly people in my list. So, I thought I did not have to make an open statement any more.

I thought I have passed that.

No I haven’t.

Three days after the celebrations, the bigots started to fire back. Some of my friends started to post anti-gay articles. From the subtle “do you really know what facebook ‘rainbow’ means?” to the more open “you exist because your parents were straight”. Then, the wave of people posting status with hashtag straightpride (I don’t want to hashtag it properly because I don’t want to help make it bloody popular) started flooding my feed.

I was gob smacked.

Ten years ago when the first time I dropped the bombshell to my friends, I could understand that it was a bit too soon for them to accept the concept of equality. It was 2005 Indonesia, you could not expect much. But this is 2015. You idolised Neil Patrick Harris, you adored Sir Ian McKellen, you cheered Ellen and thought that she and Portia makes a cute couple. BUT YOU OPPOSE GAY MARRIAGE?

.:Taken from BBC America:. Squeal, X-Neto shippers! Squeal!!

Then I thought about my own marriage. My own wedding, and people’s reaction when I told them that I was getting married to someone who was happened to be Mr. Fix-it — the wonderful male person. The reaction varied from “you’re settling down??!!” or “woohoo… so happy for you”, to “found a man that cured your lesbianity, haven’t you?”

When I remembered that, I realised that my so called open minded friends, were not really the most well informed ones. I appreciated they efforts to try. Even so, when they spouted out remarks such as “it’s just a phase”, “you haven’t tried enough”, “find the right man to straighten up the lesbian in you”, or even “we’re glad you found the right path”, it still stings a bit.

It is offensive, it is uneducated, it is ignorant, and rude. It is not only an insult to me and my sexuality, but also to my husband as a human being. It degraded Mr. Fix-It, from a wonderful intelligent funny and kind human being that I love, respect and want to be with into… an XY chromosome. It insulted our marriage.


So I looked up at the facebook rainbow thingy again, and made up my mind. I changed my profile photo, not because it was a trend, but to make a personal statement. Loud and clear.



Si Monyed selalu bingung kenapa saya tidak suka dengan kejutan.

Mungkin beberapa bisa mulai menganggap saya sebagai tipe orang yang tidak romantis, meskipun saya tidak akan mengakuinya. Menurut saya, saya cukup romantis kok, tanpa harus disertai dengan kejutan apapun. Tetapi seandainya ketidak sukaan saya terhadap kejutan kemudian membuat saya harus digolongkan ke dalam kategori manusia tidak romantis, saya tidak akan menolak. Karena, saya lebih rela disebut sebagai manusia tidak romantis, daripada saya harus belajar menyukai kejutan.

Ketidak sukaan saya terhadap kejutan, tentunya bukan tanpa alasan. Karena saya adalah manusia yang penuh alasan, tentunya. Tapi saya yakin alasan saya ini dapat dinalar.

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Beberapa hari yang lalu saya bertengkar dengan orang tua saya. Lucunya, saya bertengkar dengan orang tua saya setelah saya menulis entry saya yang sebelumnya. Mungkin saja Mama saya membaca  entry saya tersebut, mungkin saja beliau sedang PMS. Intinya pada saat itu saya sedang mengalami hubungan yang tidak menyenangkan dengan orang tua saya.

Mungkin sampai sekarang masih begitu, tapi saya tidak ingin membahas tentang bagaimana hubungan saya dengan orang tua saya, karena buat saya itu bukan urusan orang lain 😀

Beberapa bulan lalu, saya, dua orang adik saya dan juga si Monyed melakukan sebuah perjalanan pulang kampung ke Solo melalui jalur darat. Yap, empat orang cewek, dalam satu mobil dengan perjalanan 12 jam melalui jalur Pantura. Memang melelahkan, tapi pengalaman dan kesenangan yang kami dapatkan di jalan tidak bisa ditukar dengan hal-hal lain di muka bumi ini.

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According To Byq


Saya dan si Monyed punya pendapat masing-masing tentang bagaimana seharusnya liburan yang menyenangkan itu. Jujur saja, pandangan kami tentang bagaimana menghabiskan liburan itu sungguh-sunggung nggak mirip satu dengan yang lain. Pastinya tidak ada yang menyangka kalau kami bisa menghabiskan liburan tanpa berantem.

Dan memang tidak. Pasti kalau mau liburan ada berantemnya. Tapi entah kenapa, setiap kali liburan bersama si Monyed, selalu berujung menyenangkan.

Cukup aneh juga menurut saya, mengingat selera liburan saya dan si Monyed yang begitu bertolak belakang. Kalau si Monyed lebih suka jalan-jalan yang tergolong high class, dan mewah ke tempat-tempat eksklusif dan lain dari pada yang lain, saya lebih suka perjalanan budaya mengunjungi tempat-tempat dengan nilai sejarah dan memiliki cerita tersendiri. Kalau si Monyed suka berbelanja oleh-oleh, buat saya oleh-oleh terbaik adalah cerita yang tidak bisa ditukarkan oleh benda apa pun.

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Indonesia VS Malaysia di Mata Bybyq


Beberapa hari lamanya saya dan adik saya si Mon itu terlibat di pembicaraan mengenai Indonesia versus Malaysia. Dan sebagai warga negara yang baik (yang meskipun sering dianak tirikan dan sering tidak dianggap oleh warga negara yang lain) saya merasa tersinggung dengan tindakan-tindakan yang dilakukan oleh pemerintah Malaysia.

Saya dan Mon berandai-andai, apa yang akan kami lakukan seandainya kami ini adalah pemerintah republik Indonesia. Apa yang akan kami lakukan terhadap Malaysia?

Memutuskan hubungan diplomatik sepertinya merupakan satu langkah strategis. Saya tidak mengerti apa yang ditakutkan oleh pemerintah kita sampai menarik diplomat kita dari sana saja tidak bisa. TKI yang ada di sana, juga bisa ditarik pulang, toh masih banyak negara-negara lain yang mau memakai TKI dan saya yakin sebenarnya pemerintah bisa memberikan lapangan pekerjaan. Kalau mau. Tapi sayangnya saya tidak melihat niatan tersebut dari Pemerintah Republik Indonesia.

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Missing My Updates?


Ya kan? Ya kan?

Baiklah, mumpung saya lagi kepingin untuk mengupdate, sebaiknya kalian siap-siap karena ini akan menjadi satu entry yang panjang dan lama. Sedikit menyedihkan dan menyakitkan bagi saya yang menulisnya, tapi saya harap akan worth the time 😀

Pertama-tama saya harus mengucapkan “fuck google”!

Salah satu google account saya dihapus oleh google entah apa sebabnya. Yang pasti sekarang account tersebut, yang sengaja saya buat untuk segala macam pekerjaan sekarang hilang ditelan bumi. Dan, oh! Itu juga termasuk semua blog yang saya punya. So, kalau kalian tiba-tiba kangen sama MWWYT dan mau nengok ke sana, kalian ga kaan bisa lagi melihatnya.

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