Tag Archives: happy

Letter To My Sister

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As you might have known, I like writing letters to my sisters and brother, although I know they don’t really read my blog. I don’t mind. I don’t write for them, I write for myself. It might be good for them if they visit this place every now and then to see what I have in mind that I cannot tell them directly, but if they don’t… well.. their loss. Ha ha.

Anyway…

Dear my Baby Sis.

I call you Baby Sis because you are. I know you are an adult and you are dying to be treated like one by us — our parents, aunts and uncles, and Grandma, and especially your sisters. Tough shit, you are still our baby sister, and we won’t stop worrying about you no matter how old you are and you will be. Have you seen our aunts and grandma? Have you seen how they treated each other? Yes, we are the same, this kind of thing runs in blood.

So suck it up and listen.

I know you have a new life, and a long long life ahead. It is time to start planning properly. Start finding out what you really want, start finding out what makes you really happy. Your happiness is not attached to other things, or people, it is in you and your state of mind. I learned it the hardest way, and I realised the best moral lesson from Disney’s films (our favourite) is Ohana from Lilo and Stitch.

I know your name is not Lilo, and although for some people it’s close enough :p, you are a Lilo. You are MY Lilo. And you might want to watch the film again if you forget, but being a Nani, I won’t let anyone or anything to harm you, although it means you will cry and shout and hate me. The difference is, you are an adult, and in the end you will have to choose your own way.

Whatever way you choose, please choose the way of happiness.

There is no happiness in trying to please anyone. And, believe me… the way of happiness is easy. It is always easy. You don’t have to break in, or make a force entry. You won’t feel alone, or embarrassed, or uncomfortable. You will be the best of yourself, and you will feel a whole even though you are alone.

There is no happiness in trying to avoid confrontation, because sometimes it has to be fought. Peace can only be found in freedom, and freedom can only be found in truth. People who said that ignorance is a bliss are cowards who would rather hide in the dark than go out and see the reality.

I really wish you read this, and you understand. That experience has made me bitter and suspicious, but it does me good. It makes me aware of things that you and your other siblings don’t understand yet. Some knowledge that I wish I could transfer, so you could understand without having to experience yourself.

In the end, I wish you a good life.

Prost!

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Heute Bin Ich Eine Tante Geworden…

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Yes… and my German is getting better and better everyday, thanks to practising daily 😀 Oh, you’re can’t be bothered to copy and paste the title to google translator to know what it is about? Well… let me tell you what it means.

It means, “today, I have become an aunt”.

Yes my kind ladies and gentlemen, the lovely readers of Superbyq. Congratulate me because today, I am officially a proper aunt.

Of course I was an aunt before this. My cousins have got kids. And my husband has a nephew, but his nephew is not… you know… my direct nephew. And it is not the same because with my sister, I have been following her pregnancy process, and growing a sense of belonging to that baby. Aunthood is probably the closest I would ever get to parenthood.

Are you asking if I am not brooding? Nope. Still not.

I am still genuinely happy for my sister, and overjoyed with the new addition to our family. There is no question about it. However it doesn’t mean I would like to be the one contributing :0 Let’s not ruin today’s happiness with this “my womb my decision” rant, okay? Let’s just celebrate the day I officially become an aunt.

Ich bin außer mir vor Freude! Ich möchte mein Glas erheben, zu gratulieren meine Schwester und Schwager. Ich wĂŒnsche ihren Familie vielen GlĂŒck und gute Gesundheit.

Prost!!

Women And Hobbies

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One of my friend posted this link from MGOTW on his facebook page. This is the link if you would like to click, and if you don’t this is the summary:

It is basically a discussion thread asking why WOMEN don’t have hobbies and lack of creativity. The question was asked by a man, and it was answered mostly by men who agreed with him. The thread was basically discuss how women (or specifically women that these guys have known in person) don’t (or if they do, it would be rarely) involved in any activities other than gossiping (which they usually call “hanging out with the girls”), or stuffing themselves with cake while watching TV, or nagging their other half because they want attention.

Hold on.

I didn’t say that it is 100 percent true.

Afterall, the discussion is in MGOTW, where most users there are likely to have an issue with women in general. If I was a Freudian, I would assume that their mums had tried to breastfed them with lemon concentrate when they were still an infant, making them so bitter about women. So, if you did click the link and were feeling slightly upset… please. It is MGOTW, take anything you read there with a pinch of salt.

But it doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t think about what they’re saying though. There’s a reason why lots of people believe that women don’t have hobbies. Even women themselves agree to a degree that their peers seem to be lacking in this department.

Before I continue, I have to say that I have exclude the UK in general. I learned from my years being here, that this country is the “United Kingdom of Hobbyists”. It seems men, women, old, and young… everybody has a hobby. One at least. From stamp collecting, to trainspotting, from Magic The Gathering, to knit, and crocheting… you name it. They have it.

However if I see my friends in Indonesia — female friends, albeit I don’t have many. Ah, even my female family members. It seems that they don’t understand what a hobby is about.

Most of them love being online, looking at interesting stuff in video and repost and reshare, and tag people who actually have hobbies. “Bikin ini dong” (make me this, please). Or making a ridiculous comment about how my cooking and knitting hobby is what define me as a good housewife. Most of them don’t understand that people do stuff just for the sake of it.

People like being solitary, and being passionate about something. People do that to have fun. It doesn’t have to be the man-style hobbies like boxing, fishing, rock climbing. It doesn’t have to be too geeky like gaming, or train modelling. It is something that you do.

Most women I know don’t do this. Even my own mother thinks that hobby is a waste of time. She thought she gardens as a hobby, but to be honest, she just ask someone to do the garden while she enjoys looking at it. She doesn’t read, let alone write. She doesn’t cook, let alone experimenting with baking. But of course… My father is the same.

I don’t think it is all gender related. It is mostly cultural too. My grandfather is a big music buff, he wouldn’t spend a day away from our electric organ, he’s a greenfinger too — a proper one, you could see him on the garden tending our mango trees. My grandmother loves cooking, but she mostly do it as a part of daily chore. I am not sure if it is her hobby, or it is just something she should do because she likes feeding the family.

My sister loves tennis, like my grandfather. If she wasn’t pregnant she would have gone to the court at least twice a week. My other sister… she has a bunch of hobbies from crafting to mountain climbing. My brother on the other hand… I think he’s more like my father. He does game a bit, but I have never seen him with a particular hobby.

See? It is not a gender related thing. It is also cultural, and I believe economic factor plays a big role in it. My parents grew up when things were difficult, so it is impossible to develop a hobby because hobby takes money. I think human character plays a role too, because I found some people just don’t have this kind of passion some other has.

I think introvert people are more likely to develop a hobby because they have time for themselves. They will have time to consider things that they actually like doing, rather than doing things because their pals doing it too.

So…

What’s your hobby?

 

EU Referendum

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We are going to have a referendum soon. Less than two weeks and then…

I don’t know.

I have to say that I am a bit anxious about the result of the referendum. I know that I am not a British citizen, so I don’t have the right to vote. But living in the UK, I feel that whatever the result would affect my life too.

image from telegraph.co.uk

*sigh*

Anyway…

Okay.

I try to give my husband (who’s going to vote) a more objective point of view. But it is so difficult not to have a slightly skewed opinion about this. It is difficult not think about what is going to happen to me and my visa application in the end of this year whether we are staying in or leaving the European Union.

There are two main concerns: Economy and Immigration.

It is hard not to take things personally when my husband’s friends were talking about the immigration control. I can understand totally their point of view, and I can understand the importance of immigration control. The thing is, they kind of forget that I am one of these people. I am one of the foreigner in this country.

I remember the first few months after we got married. People kept asking about why can’t I be British citizen — being married to a born and bred British man. Even until today, they would look at me puzzled when I told them that I am an immigrant.

“But you are married to Mr. Fix-It. You are not an immigrant. You are different!”

How can I be different? Because I came here legally? Because I didn’t overstay my expired visa? Millions of people like me doing the same thing I do, and still having to endure the kind of hostility just because of our residency status in this country. I am different because they know me — and they don’t know the other immigrants.

It is hard not to take offence when they talk about “The Other Immigrants” like they’re talking about plague taking over their big cities — although I know for sure they’re not talking about me. But it is a harsh reminder that somewhere out there, someone who is as ignorant as they are — is talking about me with the same manner as these people talking about “the other immigrants”.

Right.

Back to EU referendum.

I just want to wish everybody in the UK the best of luck. Please use your vote wisely. Just remember, when you are already out, you might not be able to get in again — at least not with the same kind of benefit we are having right now.

 

Spring is Coming

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Well… it is been here for a while, but I was too busy enjoying it, and forgot that I have this responsibility to write. Write. Yes. I do feel a little bit (or a lot) embarrassed that I haven’t been able to write properly lately.

Writer’s write.

If I want to be a writer one day, I should stop doing other thing and start writing again.

As a token of a good faith, here I am today, writing again. Only a bit of an update though, not quite like what I usually do. But I suppose it would be enough to break down the writer’s block. So, bear with me 🙂

Since Rae posted about her exercise and weight loss routine on her blog some times ago, I have been thinking about it. I am 30 this year, and I wouldn’t be 30 for long. Not much has changed in my life and I know I would have to start making some changes. So Rae and I have been in contact to talk about this weight loss thing about a month ago.

She sent me an example of what should be done. And it does seem like a torture.

But this is the difference between Rae and I, that I noticed when we were talking about this weight loss plan. Rae seems to be an active person, she likes what she is doing and inspired and challenged by this thing. I don’t. If I do it the way she does it, I know I will stop before I start, so I decided I have to do it differently than what she does.

I don’t dedicate exercise time. I tried to be more active, walking more, and actually quite enjoyed what I did in the city. Cleaned the house more than usual, and even do some gardening. It does take energy and I found myself feel better doing it.

And, I don’t believe in clean eating. I like the idea of it, and I love eating fresh fruits and vegetables. But, to be honest with you, I don’t think clean eating is sustainable. I don’t believe in depriving myself from KFC hot wings, or big gulp of ice cold Carling, while munching potato crisps. What I did instead is start logging and counting the calories intake. I do invest in a digital scale for this.

Almost a month now, and I have lost 2 kg just for doing this. It also means I have lost a total of 5 kg since I have stopped taking contraception pills. I have a good feeling about this. Who knows by the end of this year I would be able to shed another 8 kgs.

Prost!

When Mr. Fix-It Is Having Days Off

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Belated Happy Easter, people.

Yeah.

It is said that Easter is supposed to be a bigger celebration than Christmas if you are a Catholic. Roman Catholic. I’ve been told that by my teachers at school. Mind you, I was schooled in a Catholic schools, so I just took in what they told me.

And, why? I heard you ask. Why Easter is supposed to be bigger celebration that Christmas. Well… Apparently being undead is a bigger magic trick miracle than being born.

Anyway… I am not in the mood for religious argument. Talking about Easter is supposed to be coincide with Jewish Passover, or that what we now celebrate as Easter is actually he pagan spring solstice celebration. But oh well.. it doesn’t matter. Does it? People will believe what they want, and I could just ignore it and enjoy the holiday it gives me and Mr. Fix-It.

We went to London.

My plan was brilliant, of course, by taking my beloved husband to V&A museum. It wasn’t heavily packed with people, considering it was Sunday, and school holiday. But sometime after lunch Mr. Fix -It decided that it would be nice if we abandon V&A and go to Science Museum.

And then we realised. Going to museums that catered for kiddies in school holidays is not a good idea.

Granted that the queue in front of Science Museum was not as long as the one in front of Natural History Museum. But you couldn’t judge a museum from the queue in front of it, really. Because when we went in to Science Museum, it was packed with people. I hated it.

I mean… I never hated going to museum, but I never went to a museum when it was incredibly… incredibly packed with children like that. Oh the agony. Wished we never left V&A.

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Me trying the gauntlet. Should have bought hand gel to sanitise my hand after putting it on.

Oh well.. We did have fun though. We went home completely exhausted, but happy that we did what we did. I wish he could have a longer holiday 😩

 

Hi!!

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I think it is time to talk about something lighter and happier than what I have been doing for the last few entries. Let’s do it differently this time, shall we? Yes we shall…

So… Happy place…

My blog is my happy place. Not all the time, but I find that writing makes me happy. So, I was so flattered when my sister told me that one of her best friends — let’s call her B, is — after all these years, still following my blog. I don’t know how she did it, but I am so happy that at least I know I have ONE loyal supporter out there. It does make writing worthwhile, you know? Knowing that someone out there actually read what you are writing.

It makes me feel a little bit cheesed off at the same time, knowing that my sister couldn’t be bothered to read it lol. But well, that’s okay. More room for me to talk about them without having to think of what they are going to think about me. Yay!

Anyway, if B, my sister’s best friend is reading this, I would like to use this opportunity to say hi to you. I haven’t seen you in years. How are you now? I hope you are well… My sister said that you are now working in an online industry. Wow I am soooo jealous. I thought you are going to start your own little online craft shop? When you set it up, please let me know so that I could write about it more 😀

And yes, you are right to be upset with her for not keeping in contact with you. Tell her off some more! She deserves it. No. Seriously.

Anyway, thank you for keeping up with this blog. When I visit Jakarta, let’s have dinner together, shall we? Of course I can totally understand if you don’t want to. I don’t want to come across as stalker or anything. Haha… well.. I shall finish writing now, but I wish you a nice day. And take care 🙂

Home

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I know… I know it is a late post, but as I always say… better late than never. You could disagree with that, but let’s agree to disagree. Agree?

Yes. I am home. In this case I am now back in Norwich after a whole month holiday in Indonesia. You might ask me, what I have achieved during my whole month of doing nothing in my parents’ house. Of course you might. And I might answer: WISDOM.

I think “wisdom” sounds much better than “nothing… really”.

Alright… I did not really achieve nothing. Okay? I got something done. I had my hair cut, and dyed it purple (yay me!!), I met my family and some of my friends, and caught up with the latest news, I also had a coil contraception placed inside my tummy (stories about it — coming soon). I also did a little research and looked around the city and contemplating the “what if”.

The very what if we rarely mentioned before.

“What if Mr.Fix-It and I move to Indonesia?”

Of course it is silly considering today’s social and political situation in Indonesia. I really can’t see me living in a country where LGBT is still considered as illegal. I have been living here where people could be themselves without any kind of social punishment — for being themselves. I can’t see how can I live among people who condemn LGBT — even among them are some of my closest relatives (stories about it — coming soon).

But most of all, a month in Indonesia teaches me what it means to be home, or even… what home means for me.

People said that home is where the heart is. I believe so too. But what if you don’t know where your heart should be? My family is still in Indonesia. My parents, my sisters, my brother… my dogs. Life is much easier there as I could get stuff done without lifting my middle finger.  But… at the same time, my one and only beloved husband is here in Norwich. I am the queen of my own kitchen. I am the lady of my own house. My knitting projects are here… My heart is utterly confused.

How do I decide where home is?

Well… apparently it was quite simple. On the day I arrived in Norwich, after 10 minutes taxi ride, I found this:

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It is stuck in my front door by my husband. When I saw it, I knew I was… HOME.

Being Spoiled

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Yes… Me. I am being incredibly spoiled lately.

Ever since I came back from Indonesia, I haven’t done so many household work. It seems like Mr. Fix-It feels the need of keeping me as idle as possible :p~ or… I am just lazy. I am not complaining at all. I still cook though, because we sincerely believe that my cooking is somewhat better than his, and it is important to keep us eating a well balanced meal (almost) everyday.

However, now he is in the kitchen cooking dinner for us. It is going to be Macaroni Cheese. I cannot put up any photos now because it is still cooking, but probably a bit later it will pop on Instagram.

And that’s not the only thing he’s been doing for me. Yesterday we had a dinner date, and went for a proper fine dining. I loved that so much. I loved the fact that he is trying to book us a table at one of the most notable restaurant in Norwich — The Assembly House. I love the fact that we could dress up, doll up, and look good for a nice dinner out.

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Look how cool he is in suit? Yeah? When we were in the cafe in the forum — as we arrived in the city too early for our booking, the ladies there were looking at him. Can’t help feeling completely smug that I was with this incredibly smart looking guy, whose awesomeness can only be equalled by my own dad (and sometimes my brother), and Noel Gallagher.

It was a three course meal dinner we had at The Assembly House. I chose “Pressed Ham Hock — with deep fried gerkhins, mustard mayo and croutons (with salad)” as the starter.

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And “Crispy Confit Duck Leg — with braised Red Cabbage, Lyonesse potato frisee, and bacon salad” as the main course. Yes, it was a struggle to finish both meals, but… img_0134

I was incredibly greedy, I have to admit, but I couldn’t miss the dessert as it was Creme Brulee, with lavender shortbread. How could I say no?

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They were utterly tasty, and it was such a beautiful night, and a great night out. I hope Mr. Fix-It knows that I do really appreciate this effort, and that I do really enjoy the dinner (although in the end he had to help me out by eating the food I could not finish). And… oh…

My dinner is almost ready. Better put this up and get ready to eat…

Prost!

The Bun In The Oven!!!!

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Well… Before you get too excited about this, it is not my bun, and definitely not my oven. But yes, we have a bun in the oven right now.

I have to say that I am extremely excited with my sister’s pregnancy. And I am so glad that I took this visit home this time, just in time for my sister’s first USG photo. You know what? I was the one who saw the little spot in my sister’s uterus. No. That sounds creepy, but that’s the truth. I was the first one to know for sure that she is pregnant.

She’s entering the 5th week now, so she is still adjusting. She’s having the usual pregnancy symptom such as tummy cramp, and little but somewhat constant nausea. Although, I think she is enjoying it as she is expecting this too. It was a really nice surprise as only last month she started the program to treat her PCOS.

I am just happy she is pregnant.

My husband said that for someone who doesn’t want to be pregnant myself, I sound so excited for my sister’s pregnancy. But.. why shouldn’t I? Just because I don’t want to be pregnant, it doesn’t mean everyone else shouldn’t be pregnant. I am not bitter for choosing my own childfree path, so why can’t I be okay with other people’s life decision?

The way I see it: I am happy for not being a mum and my sisters are happy for me for my decision, And now my sister is happy that she is about to be a mum, and I am happy for that decision. I mean, it is not that difficult to understand how someone could be happy that the people that they care about is happy. Happiness for someone else’s happiness. That is quite simple really.

After all, there are more good things come out from this situation. One, my parents are now no longer pushing me to have babies, as now they have a grandchild on the way. Two, since my sister and my brother in law are smart people, we will create a baby with good genes — our contribution to the gene pool.

Ah… time for more and more things to celebrate.

Okay, that pictura above is a little bit over the top… But… In the end, I would like to congratulate my sister and my brother in law for the pregnancy. I hope that the next months would be easier for my sister, and that the delivery would be smooth and safe.

Prost!!

P.S. I think congratulating a pregnant mum with alcoholic drink is a little bit taking the piss…