Tag Archives: indonesian



Status facebook teman-teman saya sering kali mendatangkan inspirasi buat menulis. Bukan cuma statusnya, tapi juga komentar-komentar orang lain — orang-orang yang tidak saya kenal, terhadap status tersebut.

Hari ini, misalnya.

Salah seorang teman saya yang bersekolah di luar negeri (luar Indonesia, maksudnya), mengunggah foto itinerary penerbangan dari tempatnya bersekolah, ke Indonesia. Pulang, sepertinya, setelah menyelesaikan pendidikan selama beberapa tahun di sana. Saya tidak tahu pasti apa yang dia bicarakan di statusnya, karena tidak ditulis dengan bahasa yang saya mengerti… tapi sebuah emot kecil yang mengikuti statusnya bicara banyak.

Komentar yang mengikutinya beragam, tentu saja. Grup teman-teman yang ditinggalkan, dan grup teman-teman yang menyambut pulang. Pulang…

Sulit rasanya menyebut kata “pulang”, kalau tempat yang dituju tidak terasa seperti rumah. Saya tahu, dan bukannya sok sok tahu, bahwa banyak pelajar Indonesia, terutama mereka yang kuning sipit seperti saya malas pulang ke Indonesia. Bukan karena kami tidak nasionalis, tapi karena kami tidak merasa di Indonesia kami masih dianaktirikan.

Kasus Ahok beberapa bulan lalu contoh jelasnya.

Karena kasus Ahok kemarin, makin banyak orang Indonesia, pelajar maupun bukan, makin malas kembali ke Indonesia. Percuma rasanya mengorbankan kehidupan yang aman, mapan, dan bebas diskriminasi di luar negeri, untuk membangun tanah air tumpah darah… kalau pada akhirnya dikriminalisasi seperti Ahok.

Memang benar, jadi minoritas itu tidak enak. Di mana-mana juga sama tidak enak jadi minoritas. Selalu saja ada grup orang-orang rasis bodoh, yang tidak paham konsep kebhinekaan. TAPI, setidaknya di negara lain, di sini misalnya, HUKUM selalu ada untuk melindungi kalau kami dibully oleh orang-orang semacam ini.

Di Indonesia? Hukum tidak pernah memihak yang benar. Kalau tidak memihak yang kuat dan berkuasa — kasus Antasari Azhar, Munir dll, ya memihak yang banyak dan populer — kasus anaknya Ahmad Dhani, FPI, Riziq Shihab dll.

Banyak orang Indonesia tidak mengerti, bahwa nasionalisme saja tidak cukup untuk hidup. Realistis saja, tidak ada manusia yang mau mati konyol kalau ada kesempatan buat membangun kehidupan yang lebih baik — membangun kehidupan, di tempat yang bisa disebut “rumah”.

Saya merasa turut berduka teman saya harus kembali ke Indonesia, dan bukan hanya untuk berkunjung seperti kalau pas saya pulang kampung. Saya kenal belasan anak Indonesia, kebanyakan perempuan, yang merasa terjebak di Indonesia. Kenapa perempuan?

Ha, saya punya teori. Perempuan. Minoritas. Indonesia yang semakin lama semakin gila agama. Jelas saja banyak perempuan minoritas pengen kabur dari sana. Saya hanya bisa berharap mereka bisa menemukan jalan keluar (yang legal) dari Indonesia.





Even though it is not a direct cause, the governor election in Jakarta which has happened last week has something to do with the re-activation of this blog. Once the result of the vote was out, it is difficult not to have any opinion about it.

You’re not a residence of DKI Jakarta, Byq. What does it do to you?

You know what? Even if it does not affect me directly, you have to remember that I spent years of my university years in Jakarta. I have friends, family members, and relatives working, and living in Jakarta, and it definitely affects them and their lives. So, even if it doesn’t affect me directly, this voting result does affect people that I know.

But it does.

It does affect me directly. It does affect me in a personal level as so many attacks were thrown to people of minority groups like myself. It is not only about the defeat of a governor candidate, it is the defeat of progress.

Months ago you thought that Indonesia (or at least Jakarta) has changed a bit. You kind of hoped that finally you can start living in a country where people are no longer politically driven by their religious fanaticism. You kind of hope that for once, in the capital city — where you really put your hope of progression of mankind on — you could see how faith in humanity could be restored.

But of course, you shouldn’t be surprised, should you?

This has happened all around the world, why wouldn’t it happen in Indonesia too? The rise of the far right radicals — which in Indonesia is represented by PKS and FPI (and any organisation similar to them).

Some friends has been joking about the day when Indonesia one day would be transformed into Indonistan. A place where the government will no longer be free of religious intervention, a place where the leaders are more afraid of being called infidels than being fair and just. A place where minority groups will once more being oppressed, and bullied. That joke though… is no longer funny.

It reviving the refugee nightmare in me. It reminds me the day when my parents were about to send me out of the country to save myself from people who will harm us — just because we are minorities. It is basically a reminder that until today, or maybe forever, I would never be welcomed completely in Indonistan Indonesia.

Some people are still trying to console themselves by saying that this is not the end of the world — that Ahok might still have a place somewhere in Indonesia’s politics. Well… maybe. But really? I think it’s just anticlimactic. The country¬†had the chance to bring the country¬†into an overdrive with him… But… of course…

I am not in Jakarta right now. Heck, I am not even in Indonesia right now, and I am super glad that I am not. I am not feeling any patriotic right now, but why should I be? How could I be? I am sorry for those who are now stuck in Indonistan, and just don’t know how to get away from this sticky situation. I am just hoping that I would never have to come back… at least not while the country is still screwed like this…

An Update (Again)


Just came back from my annual visit to Indonesia. As usual, to celebrate the CNY.

This time, Chinese New Year feels different for me. In so many ways.

Not only that now I am no longer receiving angpao, and instead having to give kids ones, it was also… I don’t know. Ambivalent? I don’t know, I am not even sure how to put it. What I know is that in this trip home, so many things has changed. And, I realised that I have changed a lot too, since the last CNY.


Mentally, mostly.

One little thing like… how I feel when I was surrounded by family, for example. It has changed too.

I used to like being left alone. I can blame it to my teenage angst, but now I can appreciate it more. I can appreciate being surrounded by cousins whom I haven’t met for at least five years, or nieces and nephews I haven’t never seen before. I can appreciate the attentions, as much as I could appreciate them leaving me alone in the past.

Or, the way I reacted to the problems in the family. I feel that I am no longer trying to fix stuff. It was, of course an effort not to treat my sisters and brother like children anymore. They are adults now, and the realisation has helped me to let them go, and be their own person. And they are their own persons, and I am proud of them.

It’s just…

Being the eldest in the family, there’s always this feeling of wanting to protect my sisters and brother. They probably don’t need my protection, not anymore. But it is always ingrained in me, the sisterly tough love to them. And, to be honest, this is probably the closest I could ever be to parenthood, so… IF they read this, I hope they understand if I was mummying them. (No, there’s a difference between mummying, and mummifying. Pay attention!)

Anyway. One thing doesn’t change though…


As the closing of today’s post, I will present you: THE FOOD

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