Tag Archives: manusia



Salah satu hal yang paling saya sukai adalah ngobrol dengan orang pinter. Ngobrol dengan orang pinter — nggak harus ngobrol langsung lah, lewat facebook status aja misalnya, bisa menginspirasi saya. Dari inspirasi… tada… blog post!

Pernah denger tentang Kabayan? Kalo kamu seumuran sama saya, pasti kamu inget tokoh Kabayan dari buku pelajaran SD, atau dari film layar lebar si Kabayan yang diperankan oleh almarhum Didi Petet. Saya sendiri mengenal Kabayan lebih dekat karena papa saya yang asalnya dari Tasikmalaya, sangat suka dengan karaktern ini. Ya… Kabayan memang quintessentially Sunda. *mati gue, quintessential itu Bahasa Indonesianya apa ya?*

Karakter Kabayan ini digambarkan sebagai seorang yang berasal dari kampung, biasanya pengangguran proletar, juga tidak pernah mengenyam bangku sekolah formal. Tapi, si Kabayan ini selain setengah mati jatuh cinta pada Nyi Iteung, anak gadis si Abah dan Ambu, juga terkenal baik hati dan cerdik luar biasa. Biasanya cerita berkisar mengenai Kabayan yang terlibat masalah karena Abah tidak menyetujui hubungannya dengan Nyi Iteung, tapi berhasil mengelabuhi Abah yang terkenal sebagai tokoh berpendidikan di kampungnya…

Ngerti kan?

Mau dibawa ke mana pembicaraan ini? Well… Ceritanya beberapa menit yang lalu saya membaca, mengomentari, dan akhirnya terlibat diskusi singkat dengan… um… si Gigit (sebut aja begitu, karena dia hobi membuat status facebook yang mengigit… oke? Terima aja). Nah, dari obrolan itu, saya dan si Gigit punya teori yang berbeda tentang orang bodoh, dan orang yang tidak berpendidikan.

Menurut saya, ada perbedaan yang mendasar antara orang bodoh, dan orang yang tidak berpendidikan. Meskipun keduanya sama-sama tidak diuntungkan keadaan, kita bisa mendidik orang yang tidak berpendidikan menjadi orang terdidik, tapi kita tidak bisa memintarkan orang yang pada dasarnya bodoh. Saya selalu menganalogikan otak manusia seperti prosesor komputer.

Orang bodoh adalah orang dengan kapasitas otak Intel Celeron… bagi yang masih muda dan imut, dan belom pernah denger Intel Celeron, itu adalah prosesor sebelum Intel Pentium, dan Intel Pentium adalah prosesor sebelum Intel Core. Sedangkan orang tidak berpendidikan itu adalah orang dengan HD yang masih kosong, karena belom download software apa-apa. Orang tidak berpendidikan bisa dididik, sama seperti kita bisa mengisi HD yang kosong… tapi kalo prosesornya ble’e, ya percuma softwarenya tidak bisa dipakai — seperti orang bodoh, bisa dikasih tahu tapi belom tentu mereka ngerti bagaimana menggunakan pengetahuan itu.

Bagaimana kamu tau itu orang pintar atau bodoh? Atau apakah dia berpendidikan atau tidak?

Seperti biasa saya punya pendapat yang tidak terlalu populer, tapi berhubung saya ngomong di blog saya sendiri, jadi tidak ada yang menyensor. Ahaay…

Menurut saya, tidak ada alat ukur pintar-bodoh, cantik/bagus-jelek, sehat-sakit, gendut-kurus, dan lain sebagainya yang mutlak dan sempurna. Tapi, ada alat ukur, dan secara definisi, yang namanya alat ukur itu harus bisa distandardisasi, dan standardisasi paling oke adalah yang bisa dikuantifikasi — artinya bisa ditunjukkan dengan angka… Misalnya, buat standar bagus/cantik-jelek kita punya golden ratio Fibonacci (kalo bingung, google! jangan males…). Kalau mau standar gendut-kurus kita pake standar BMI. Pintar bodoh pun bisa diukur dengan test IQ.

Yaa yaa yaa… IQ bukan segalanya, ada EQ ada SQ whatever… Saya ga peduli dengan yang dua terakhir itu. Tidak ada standardisasi EQ atau SQ, dan tanpa standar ukur, saya akan selalu ragukan objektivitas pengukurnya.

Balik ke si Kabayan ya? Saya yakin kalau Kabayan bisa dites IQ, dia bisa jadi punya IQ di atas rata-rata. Banyak kok orang dengan IQ tinggi tapi tidak sekolah. Banyak juga orang dengan IQ rendah lulus dengan nilai bagus di sekolah — kerja keras itu ngepek, Bro. Tapi maksudnya apa saya ngomong panjang lebar tentang ini, dan hubungannya dengan pembicaraan saya dengan si Gigit?

Jadi gini, Git… Kalo orang itu bodo, ya udah kamu nggak bisa ngapa-ngapain lagi. Ini menjawab pertanyaan: Kok bisa sih lulusan universitas negeri terkenal di Indonesia percaya sama teori bumi datar? Atau, kok bisa sih lulusan luar negeri macam si Blabla masih kolot, dan rasis macam begitu? Karena kita bisa mendidik orang bodoh, tapi kita tidak bisa membuat orang bodoh menjadi pintar… Ini masalah kapasitas otak, dan sayangnya sampai saat ini ga banyak cara untuk mengupgrade otak setelah lewat golden age. Buat orang-orang yang udah terlanjur tua dan bego, kamu bener… kita cuma bisa kasian karena buat mereka sudah terlambat…

Dan kamu juga bener, ini juga efek over populasi. Semakin banyak anak, semakin sedikit perhatian yang bisa diberikan kepada mereka di saat golden age mereka. Tidak cukup nutrisi, tidak cukup pendidikan. Tapi ini satu-satunya solusi yang bisa saya pikirkan buat memintarkan generasi berikutnya. Generasi hari ini udah kadung, Sis…





I know… I know it is a late post, but as I always say… better late than never. You could disagree with that, but let’s agree to disagree. Agree?

Yes. I am home. In this case I am now back in Norwich after a whole month holiday in Indonesia. You might ask me, what I have achieved during my whole month of doing nothing in my parents’ house. Of course you might. And I might answer: WISDOM.

I think “wisdom” sounds much better than “nothing… really”.

Alright… I did not really achieve nothing. Okay? I got something done. I had my hair cut, and dyed it purple (yay me!!), I met my family and some of my friends, and caught up with the latest news, I also had a coil contraception placed inside my tummy (stories about it — coming soon). I also did a little research and looked around the city and contemplating the “what if”.

The very what if we rarely mentioned before.

“What if Mr.Fix-It and I move to Indonesia?”

Of course it is silly considering today’s social and political situation in Indonesia. I really can’t see me living in a country where LGBT is still considered as illegal. I have been living here where people could be themselves without any kind of social punishment — for being themselves. I can’t see how can I live among people who condemn LGBT — even among them are some of my closest relatives (stories about it — coming soon).

But most of all, a month in Indonesia teaches me what it means to be home, or even… what home means for me.

People said that home is where the heart is. I believe so too. But what if you don’t know where your heart should be? My family is still in Indonesia. My parents, my sisters, my brother… my dogs. Life is much easier there as I could get stuff done without lifting my middle finger.  But… at the same time, my one and only beloved husband is here in Norwich. I am the queen of my own kitchen. I am the lady of my own house. My knitting projects are here… My heart is utterly confused.

How do I decide where home is?

Well… apparently it was quite simple. On the day I arrived in Norwich, after 10 minutes taxi ride, I found this:


It is stuck in my front door by my husband. When I saw it, I knew I was… HOME.

LGBT in Campuses, and Mirna’s Case


Our Minister of Research and Technology just released one of the dumbest statement I have ever heard from someone in his level — since the new government cabinet was set. I mean, seriously. He told the media that he banned the LGBT to enter universities. I mean… how? Although soon later he revised his statement to: “Banning the LGBT who make out and have sex in campuses” — which was even more laughable than the previous statement.

I am not sure how this LGBT in Campuses noises started. Really, I suspected from how uncanny the timing was — it has something to do with one of the hottest murder case in Indonesia today. The Murder of Mirna.

If you live abroad and probably can’t be bothered to subscribe to Indonesia’s media — and looking at our media, I don’t blame you at all– you might have missed this murder case. Mirna is a the name of the girl who died after drinking coffee in a popular coffee shop in one of the biggest high end malls in Jakarta. When Mirna died, she was accompanied by two of her friends, one of them J was her mate when she studied in Australia.

Police officer could not point a finger to anybody due to the “innocent until proven guilty” principal. But somehow for J, all fingers have pointed at her. I feel bad for her, especially if she is not guilty. I think many mainstream media, from online newspaper to national televisions have the responsibility to report a balance news– unfavourable, not tendentious, and unbiased opinion. But I found that the media was stirring the mud to gain more audience. That’s disgusting.

As the case got more and more audience, the stories and rumours got spread. One of the rumour was that the murder was carried out by J, because she was jealous that Mirna is now married — just married last December. The rumour also said that they were a couple when they studied together in Australia. And then, the criminalisation of LGBT sparked.

The old, outdated belief such as “homosexuals are mentally disturb and would kill anyone when they got jealous rage” reappeared in the media. Forgetting the facts that there are more murder carried out by heterosexuals than gays. The uneducated comments on social media sprung and got out of hand, and nothing that media did about it. I thought it was their job to educate the people, apparently gaining clicks is more important than giving facts.

In my own opinion, the rumour that Mirna and J had a lesbian relationship when they were studying just fuelled the bigots rage, and paranoia that Indonesian students are now aware of the freedom to embrace their sexuality. Some cheap far right online newspaper in Indonesia even described LGBT as an epidemic phenomenon attacking our education system, while throwing in some religious remarks to add in to the bigotry.

Now, universities — one of our last bastion to fight against ignorance, intolerance, and bigotry is under a massive attack. Not only that the minister has said something that has undermined the effort of our academia to educate people about sexuality, this issue has opened the pandora box. The members of the Support Group and Research Center On Sexuality Study in Universitas Indonesia, one of the biggest and best university in Indonesia, is now being threatened personally. Some of them even being disowned just because he wants to help other people.

I don’t think I should make any conclusion for today’s entry. I don’t have to. You know where I stand and I am standing still. I am not sure how long until our country could catch up with the others, but for now I am doubtful that that day will come soon.

What a gloomy day to be an Indonesian.




This afternoon I saw something quite surprising on my Facebook news feed. One of my high school friends posted a note, with a photo collage of her and her new look. She apparently has shaven her head clean.

No she was not ill.

She was just doing something for herself, and for a moment I felt like there were millions of confused butterflies swarming the inside of my stomach.


I thought, I always wanted to do that. I thought that was one of the things I would like to do before I die. Seeing her without hair makes me feel like a loser for not being able to do what she could, despite of having planned the act for years. I thought she was so brave and I was incredibly jealous.

But then, admitting defeat, I suppose it was only appropriate if I give her my respect. I mean, I might not be the bravest person in the world, but I still knew how to put my respect to one who deserve it. After all she looks wonderful with her new Bald and Bold look.

To my surprise, she told me that apparently it was me who inspired her to do what she did. It was my bucket list that gave her the courage to do hers. And I was not ready for that…

I was speechless. I couldn’t believe it.

It was probably one of the most wonderful thing I have ever heard from a friend for a very long time. It was probably one of the sweetest thing that I have ever received from someone. It obviously has lifted my mood that has been so low for the last few months.

If only she knew how much it means to me to know that I am not that useless. If only she knew how powerful her compliment to me was.

So I thanked her. Not only for her kindness, but also that she has become my inspiration in return. However, thanking her on facebook is not enough, I believe. I want to thank her again here — a place that is personal for me.


This Is My Rainbow…


I am so sorry that I haven’t written much lately. There was not enough time or things to say, but today, I feel compelled to write this.

The reason why I changed my facebook profile photo with rainbow.


After the USA legalised gay marriage, Facebook celebrates and supports this event by featuring an app that can change your profile photo to a rainbow. Yeah, that one. You know what I am talking about.

Initially, I did not want to change my photo. I do not like to be carried out in a wave or mainstream trends, and I think the rainbow looks a bit tacky. After all, I believed that I have purged and filtered through my friendlist and was quite sure that I only have gay friendly people in my list. So, I thought I did not have to make an open statement any more.

I thought I have passed that.

No I haven’t.

Three days after the celebrations, the bigots started to fire back. Some of my friends started to post anti-gay articles. From the subtle “do you really know what facebook ‘rainbow’ means?” to the more open “you exist because your parents were straight”. Then, the wave of people posting status with hashtag straightpride (I don’t want to hashtag it properly because I don’t want to help make it bloody popular) started flooding my feed.

I was gob smacked.

Ten years ago when the first time I dropped the bombshell to my friends, I could understand that it was a bit too soon for them to accept the concept of equality. It was 2005 Indonesia, you could not expect much. But this is 2015. You idolised Neil Patrick Harris, you adored Sir Ian McKellen, you cheered Ellen and thought that she and Portia makes a cute couple. BUT YOU OPPOSE GAY MARRIAGE?

.:Taken from BBC America:. Squeal, X-Neto shippers! Squeal!!

Then I thought about my own marriage. My own wedding, and people’s reaction when I told them that I was getting married to someone who was happened to be Mr. Fix-it — the wonderful male person. The reaction varied from “you’re settling down??!!” or “woohoo… so happy for you”, to “found a man that cured your lesbianity, haven’t you?”

When I remembered that, I realised that my so called open minded friends, were not really the most well informed ones. I appreciated they efforts to try. Even so, when they spouted out remarks such as “it’s just a phase”, “you haven’t tried enough”, “find the right man to straighten up the lesbian in you”, or even “we’re glad you found the right path”, it still stings a bit.

It is offensive, it is uneducated, it is ignorant, and rude. It is not only an insult to me and my sexuality, but also to my husband as a human being. It degraded Mr. Fix-It, from a wonderful intelligent funny and kind human being that I love, respect and want to be with into… an XY chromosome. It insulted our marriage.


So I looked up at the facebook rainbow thingy again, and made up my mind. I changed my profile photo, not because it was a trend, but to make a personal statement. Loud and clear.

Indonesia VS Malaysia di Mata Bybyq


Beberapa hari lamanya saya dan adik saya si Mon itu terlibat di pembicaraan mengenai Indonesia versus Malaysia. Dan sebagai warga negara yang baik (yang meskipun sering dianak tirikan dan sering tidak dianggap oleh warga negara yang lain) saya merasa tersinggung dengan tindakan-tindakan yang dilakukan oleh pemerintah Malaysia.

Saya dan Mon berandai-andai, apa yang akan kami lakukan seandainya kami ini adalah pemerintah republik Indonesia. Apa yang akan kami lakukan terhadap Malaysia?

Memutuskan hubungan diplomatik sepertinya merupakan satu langkah strategis. Saya tidak mengerti apa yang ditakutkan oleh pemerintah kita sampai menarik diplomat kita dari sana saja tidak bisa. TKI yang ada di sana, juga bisa ditarik pulang, toh masih banyak negara-negara lain yang mau memakai TKI dan saya yakin sebenarnya pemerintah bisa memberikan lapangan pekerjaan. Kalau mau. Tapi sayangnya saya tidak melihat niatan tersebut dari Pemerintah Republik Indonesia.

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Peraturan Dibuat Untuk… (2)



Saya harap tidak ada yang tiba-tiba melihat saya sebagai orang suci karena entry saya sebelumnya. Apalagi, ada yang menganggap saya ngesok membuat tulisan semacam itu. Sori ye… sebelom yang berasa cuap-cuap, saya bikin dulu tulisan lanjutan, berhubung yang kemarin masih berakhir menggantung. (menggantung karena sebenarnya saya masih ingin menulis banyak, cuman udah ngantuk kemarin…)

Kesalahan itu manusiawi. Tidak ada gading yang tak retak, semua orang pasti juga pernah melakukan kesalahan. Termasuk ya si Bybyq ini.

Saya mengerti bahwa human error itu tidak bisa dihindari, dan bahwa kadang kala kelalaian kecil bisa terjadi (manusia itu makhluk yang kompleks, toh?). Saya juga memahami adanya technical error, di mana beberapa kecelakaan terjadi di luar kendali manusia. Tapi ada satu faktor yang membedakan antara kecelakaan-kecelakaan ini dengan apa yang saya bahas sebelumnya.

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Peraturan Dibuat Untuk…



Seandainya dulu kalian menjalani kehidupan SMA circa 1990-2000 an, pasti sering mendengar itu. Belum lagi kalau ada yang ngomong, “Nyontek itu nggak apa-apa yang penting jangan ketauan”. Ditambah lagi kalau ada yang bilang, “Yang penting naik kelas”.

Meskipun saya bukan salah satu pelaku (bukan nyombong yah, tapi catatan akademis saya bersih dari contek mencontek), saya masih bisa ikut tertawa dengan teman-teman saya yang mengatakan hal tersebut. Tapi entah kenapa saya sekarang tidak bisa tertawa lagi mendengar hal semacam itu, karena buat saya itu sekarang terdengar mengenaskan. Bagaimana tidak mengenaskan?

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Yeah… So?


Saya paling tidak suka kalau ada orang mengomentari apa yang sedang saya kerjakan. Apalagi komentarnya bukan komentar yang membangun, bukan saran, bukan komentar yang berguna melainkan komentar sambil lalu, yang sama sekali tidak enak untuk didengar. Apalagi komentarnya dilontarkan tanpa dipikirkan terlebih dahulu.

Dan apalagi, ditujukan kepada saya akan hal-hal yang saya sukai dan saya cintai. Tentang pekerjaan yang saya lakukan, atau jalan yang saya pilih. Saya tidak suka itu, dan meskipun saya tidak berterus terang kepada mereka yang berkomentar, tapi saya tidak akan menanggapi lebih jauh. Saya tidak mau membuang-buang waktu saya pada orang yang tidak peduli.

Satu hal yang saya jadikan patokan. Orang yang tidak peduli dengan apa yang dia katakan, tidak akan peduli dengan apa yang dikatakan oleh orang lain.

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