Tag Archives: sampah

Kabayan…

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Salah satu hal yang paling saya sukai adalah ngobrol dengan orang pinter. Ngobrol dengan orang pinter — nggak harus ngobrol langsung lah, lewat facebook status aja misalnya, bisa menginspirasi saya. Dari inspirasi… tada… blog post!

Pernah denger tentang Kabayan? Kalo kamu seumuran sama saya, pasti kamu inget tokoh Kabayan dari buku pelajaran SD, atau dari film layar lebar si Kabayan yang diperankan oleh almarhum Didi Petet. Saya sendiri mengenal Kabayan lebih dekat karena papa saya yang asalnya dari Tasikmalaya, sangat suka dengan karaktern ini. Ya… Kabayan memang quintessentially Sunda. *mati gue, quintessential itu Bahasa Indonesianya apa ya?*

Karakter Kabayan ini digambarkan sebagai seorang yang berasal dari kampung, biasanya pengangguran proletar, juga tidak pernah mengenyam bangku sekolah formal. Tapi, si Kabayan ini selain setengah mati jatuh cinta pada Nyi Iteung, anak gadis si Abah dan Ambu, juga terkenal baik hati dan cerdik luar biasa. Biasanya cerita berkisar mengenai Kabayan yang terlibat masalah karena Abah tidak menyetujui hubungannya dengan Nyi Iteung, tapi berhasil mengelabuhi Abah yang terkenal sebagai tokoh berpendidikan di kampungnya…

Ngerti kan?

Mau dibawa ke mana pembicaraan ini? Well… Ceritanya beberapa menit yang lalu saya membaca, mengomentari, dan akhirnya terlibat diskusi singkat dengan… um… si Gigit (sebut aja begitu, karena dia hobi membuat status facebook yang mengigit… oke? Terima aja). Nah, dari obrolan itu, saya dan si Gigit punya teori yang berbeda tentang orang bodoh, dan orang yang tidak berpendidikan.

Menurut saya, ada perbedaan yang mendasar antara orang bodoh, dan orang yang tidak berpendidikan. Meskipun keduanya sama-sama tidak diuntungkan keadaan, kita bisa mendidik orang yang tidak berpendidikan menjadi orang terdidik, tapi kita tidak bisa memintarkan orang yang pada dasarnya bodoh. Saya selalu menganalogikan otak manusia seperti prosesor komputer.

Orang bodoh adalah orang dengan kapasitas otak Intel Celeron… bagi yang masih muda dan imut, dan belom pernah denger Intel Celeron, itu adalah prosesor sebelum Intel Pentium, dan Intel Pentium adalah prosesor sebelum Intel Core. Sedangkan orang tidak berpendidikan itu adalah orang dengan HD yang masih kosong, karena belom download software apa-apa. Orang tidak berpendidikan bisa dididik, sama seperti kita bisa mengisi HD yang kosong… tapi kalo prosesornya ble’e, ya percuma softwarenya tidak bisa dipakai — seperti orang bodoh, bisa dikasih tahu tapi belom tentu mereka ngerti bagaimana menggunakan pengetahuan itu.

Bagaimana kamu tau itu orang pintar atau bodoh? Atau apakah dia berpendidikan atau tidak?

Seperti biasa saya punya pendapat yang tidak terlalu populer, tapi berhubung saya ngomong di blog saya sendiri, jadi tidak ada yang menyensor. Ahaay…

Menurut saya, tidak ada alat ukur pintar-bodoh, cantik/bagus-jelek, sehat-sakit, gendut-kurus, dan lain sebagainya yang mutlak dan sempurna. Tapi, ada alat ukur, dan secara definisi, yang namanya alat ukur itu harus bisa distandardisasi, dan standardisasi paling oke adalah yang bisa dikuantifikasi — artinya bisa ditunjukkan dengan angka… Misalnya, buat standar bagus/cantik-jelek kita punya golden ratio Fibonacci (kalo bingung, google! jangan males…). Kalau mau standar gendut-kurus kita pake standar BMI. Pintar bodoh pun bisa diukur dengan test IQ.

Yaa yaa yaa… IQ bukan segalanya, ada EQ ada SQ whatever… Saya ga peduli dengan yang dua terakhir itu. Tidak ada standardisasi EQ atau SQ, dan tanpa standar ukur, saya akan selalu ragukan objektivitas pengukurnya.

Balik ke si Kabayan ya? Saya yakin kalau Kabayan bisa dites IQ, dia bisa jadi punya IQ di atas rata-rata. Banyak kok orang dengan IQ tinggi tapi tidak sekolah. Banyak juga orang dengan IQ rendah lulus dengan nilai bagus di sekolah — kerja keras itu ngepek, Bro. Tapi maksudnya apa saya ngomong panjang lebar tentang ini, dan hubungannya dengan pembicaraan saya dengan si Gigit?

Jadi gini, Git… Kalo orang itu bodo, ya udah kamu nggak bisa ngapa-ngapain lagi. Ini menjawab pertanyaan: Kok bisa sih lulusan universitas negeri terkenal di Indonesia percaya sama teori bumi datar? Atau, kok bisa sih lulusan luar negeri macam si Blabla masih kolot, dan rasis macam begitu? Karena kita bisa mendidik orang bodoh, tapi kita tidak bisa membuat orang bodoh menjadi pintar… Ini masalah kapasitas otak, dan sayangnya sampai saat ini ga banyak cara untuk mengupgrade otak setelah lewat golden age. Buat orang-orang yang udah terlanjur tua dan bego, kamu bener… kita cuma bisa kasian karena buat mereka sudah terlambat…

Dan kamu juga bener, ini juga efek over populasi. Semakin banyak anak, semakin sedikit perhatian yang bisa diberikan kepada mereka di saat golden age mereka. Tidak cukup nutrisi, tidak cukup pendidikan. Tapi ini satu-satunya solusi yang bisa saya pikirkan buat memintarkan generasi berikutnya. Generasi hari ini udah kadung, Sis…

 

Don’t Be Gay in Indonesia!?!

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I thought we were past this now, and I cannot believe that today, in 2016 I have to write about LGBT again. *deep sigh* *find a happy place*

Right!

I tried to find articles about LGBT I have written in the past. I couldn’t find them. Do you know why? Probably, I have never written about LGBT before. And do you know why? Maybe, in the past people were not such an asshole like people in Indonesia today. Maybe in the past, despite of their opinion about us, they would just leave us alone. Or maybe in the past, people were nicer without so called religions.

from upi.com

I don’t know. All I know is that now media tried to picture us as the bad guy of the universe. Not the people who bombed buildings, not terrorists who ran around shooting police officers, not the group of people who destroy buildings and businesses in the name of their oh-so-mighty-god. Oh no… not the religious leaders who molested their apprentices/students-whatever, not the wife beating abusive father drunken thug who litters on the street. No. The enemy is us… What a sick, twisted mind, that could produce such an ignorant conclusion – thinking that LGBT is a problem?

Or maybe they just don’t think? You know… thinking is a sign of intelligence. Considering Indonesian’s average IQ is only 87 — and there are ten of thousands of us with IQ more than 100 (with some people with IQ more than 130 in Mensa Indonesia), there must be millions of people with IQ lower than 80. It is borderline intellectual functioning. Isn’t it? No wonder they are just so dense… no wonder they failed to contemplate this:

Translated from Bahasa Indonesia: “if a GAY sexually abuses someone, people blame their GAY-ness. Why is it that if a STRAIGHT does the same, it is the individual that gets the blame? (Why don’t you blame their STRAIGHT-ness – as the reason why they sexually abuse people?)

It is 2016. It’s been 10 years since I got acquainted with LGBT communities — from si Onyed, obviously. Superbyq is about to have it’s 6th anniversary. It’s been more than 4 years since I left Indonesia, and almost 2 years of being married. And Indonesia… is going backwards, instead of catching up with other civilised countries. What the F is going on?

Our Minister of Research and Technology made a statement about banning LGBT from campuses. Our so called Mental Health practitioner “revised” the universally acknowledged DSM to his own version and called homosexuals and transgenders as mentally ill. Now, not only the so called religion of peace are making long marches to demonstrate their ignorance on the street, the other religions are following their footstep in the bigotry lane.

If several days ago, Mr. Fix-It and I had the “what if” idea, and thinking of coming back to Indonesia and live there. Now, I don’t think that is the case. I don’t want to live in Indonesia. I don’t think I could live among these people. I don’t think I could survive living among these idea. I don’t think, I could give up my freedom of being me, and going back to where I have to deny my own identity.

I am so glad that in Indonesia we still have people like MerryDT who is still trying to educate these bunch of dimwits — because I have to admit, I don’t have the patience to face these kind of people. People like her are the reason I can still have hope that this country could bounce back and catch up with modern civilisation. But, until then, I would rather stay here where I could raise my rainbow flag, wave it around with pride.

Like I said before… this is a grim time to be an Indonesian.

Prost.

LGBT in Campuses, and Mirna’s Case

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Our Minister of Research and Technology just released one of the dumbest statement I have ever heard from someone in his level — since the new government cabinet was set. I mean, seriously. He told the media that he banned the LGBT to enter universities. I mean… how? Although soon later he revised his statement to: “Banning the LGBT who make out and have sex in campuses” — which was even more laughable than the previous statement.

I am not sure how this LGBT in Campuses noises started. Really, I suspected from how uncanny the timing was — it has something to do with one of the hottest murder case in Indonesia today. The Murder of Mirna.

If you live abroad and probably can’t be bothered to subscribe to Indonesia’s media — and looking at our media, I don’t blame you at all– you might have missed this murder case. Mirna is a the name of the girl who died after drinking coffee in a popular coffee shop in one of the biggest high end malls in Jakarta. When Mirna died, she was accompanied by two of her friends, one of them J was her mate when she studied in Australia.

Police officer could not point a finger to anybody due to the “innocent until proven guilty” principal. But somehow for J, all fingers have pointed at her. I feel bad for her, especially if she is not guilty. I think many mainstream media, from online newspaper to national televisions have the responsibility to report a balance news– unfavourable, not tendentious, and unbiased opinion. But I found that the media was stirring the mud to gain more audience. That’s disgusting.

As the case got more and more audience, the stories and rumours got spread. One of the rumour was that the murder was carried out by J, because she was jealous that Mirna is now married — just married last December. The rumour also said that they were a couple when they studied together in Australia. And then, the criminalisation of LGBT sparked.

The old, outdated belief such as “homosexuals are mentally disturb and would kill anyone when they got jealous rage” reappeared in the media. Forgetting the facts that there are more murder carried out by heterosexuals than gays. The uneducated comments on social media sprung and got out of hand, and nothing that media did about it. I thought it was their job to educate the people, apparently gaining clicks is more important than giving facts.

In my own opinion, the rumour that Mirna and J had a lesbian relationship when they were studying just fuelled the bigots rage, and paranoia that Indonesian students are now aware of the freedom to embrace their sexuality. Some cheap far right online newspaper in Indonesia even described LGBT as an epidemic phenomenon attacking our education system, while throwing in some religious remarks to add in to the bigotry.

Now, universities — one of our last bastion to fight against ignorance, intolerance, and bigotry is under a massive attack. Not only that the minister has said something that has undermined the effort of our academia to educate people about sexuality, this issue has opened the pandora box. The members of the Support Group and Research Center On Sexuality Study in Universitas Indonesia, one of the biggest and best university in Indonesia, is now being threatened personally. Some of them even being disowned just because he wants to help other people.

I don’t think I should make any conclusion for today’s entry. I don’t have to. You know where I stand and I am standing still. I am not sure how long until our country could catch up with the others, but for now I am doubtful that that day will come soon.

What a gloomy day to be an Indonesian.

 

No Uterus, No Opinion

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** disclaimer: lots of swear words, so if you don’t like it you can get the fuck out**

One of the reasons why I would like to spend weeks in Indonesia is because I want to see a Gynaecologist. I have been waiting for about three months to get a coil inserted, but I haven’t got one until today. And I am tired of taking pills. It has changed my mood, changed my body, and I just found out today that I have gained at least 8 kgs. I know that waiting is not an option for me, I just want to get this over with and move on to the better part of my life.

So I saw a Gynaecologist today. Told him that I want to get a coil inserted. I have done my homework, done my research. I know the pro and cons, and I know the possible pain and also possible side effects. I know almost everything I need to know before I see the doctor. And I bloody know that that bloody thing can be installed inside my fuckin womb any time of the day. ANY FUCKING TIME.

and this is the link: https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/birth-control/iud

This so called Gynaecologist is my mum’s doctor. It is said that he is one of the best in my hometown. Maybe. Maybe it is because he is one of the oldest, so he has got more experience in his hand. But now you have a clue that he’s probably not the best for me.

He is a guy.

He is old.

Old guy doesn’t know what a woman my age needs, and wants. I WANT a copper coil to be stuck in my womb, because I NEED to make sure I am not going to get pregnant. And he doesn’t understand it. He kept mentioning that I am not 30, and that I might want to have a child first before going ahead with the idea of contraception. Why the fuck I am seeing him for a bloody IUD if I want to have a fucking child?

I am fumed now. So pardon my language.

He kept asking about my husband and whether he wants a child or not. Why the fuck everybody asks about his decision? This is my fucking womb and I make the fucking decision. Can’t his bloody brain process that fucking little information? Of course not. My womb, my decision. My womb, my decision. It will be my decision if I would like to let a life sucking parasites growing inside me for a nine fucking months or not. Not people around me. Especially not men.

I started to realised that the lights in the end of the tunnel might be the train coming towards me when the doctor told me that he could only do it when I am having period. I know my request to him to make me infertile is futile because I know he is lying. I CAN get the coil inserted any times of the month. Any fucking time. It might be a little bit painful, but I knew it already.

He also emphasised on how painful it could be when it is inserted to someone who has not yet have a child. I knew it too. Like I said, I have done my homework. Afterall, talking about pain… giving birth to babies is more painful than any coil insertion, I suppose?

I asked about a more permanent solution — fertilisation. And he just rejected the idea outright. Maybe the light in the end of the tunnel is really a train.

I went home with horrible feeling. I had some much hope. I have never had any thought of self harming until the day the doctor sent me home without any assurance on when I could get the coil done for me. I thought of stabbing myself in the stomach to damage the womb permanently, or the ovary, or whatever, so that the doctor would have to take it away from me. I don’t want it. I want it go away.

So… What am I going to do now?

I am not going to take more pills. And, I am going to find a way to get myself impregnable. One way or another. And if there’s any one of you have anything against this decision, I have a knock knock game for you.

Me: Knock! Knock!
You: Who’s there?
Me: Nona
You: Nona who?
Me: Nona your business you motherfucker…

 

Surprises

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Si Monyed selalu bingung kenapa saya tidak suka dengan kejutan.

Mungkin beberapa bisa mulai menganggap saya sebagai tipe orang yang tidak romantis, meskipun saya tidak akan mengakuinya. Menurut saya, saya cukup romantis kok, tanpa harus disertai dengan kejutan apapun. Tetapi seandainya ketidak sukaan saya terhadap kejutan kemudian membuat saya harus digolongkan ke dalam kategori manusia tidak romantis, saya tidak akan menolak. Karena, saya lebih rela disebut sebagai manusia tidak romantis, daripada saya harus belajar menyukai kejutan.

Ketidak sukaan saya terhadap kejutan, tentunya bukan tanpa alasan. Karena saya adalah manusia yang penuh alasan, tentunya. Tapi saya yakin alasan saya ini dapat dinalar.

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Jalan

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Beberapa hari yang lalu saya bertengkar dengan orang tua saya. Lucunya, saya bertengkar dengan orang tua saya setelah saya menulis entry saya yang sebelumnya. Mungkin saja Mama saya membaca  entry saya tersebut, mungkin saja beliau sedang PMS. Intinya pada saat itu saya sedang mengalami hubungan yang tidak menyenangkan dengan orang tua saya.

Mungkin sampai sekarang masih begitu, tapi saya tidak ingin membahas tentang bagaimana hubungan saya dengan orang tua saya, karena buat saya itu bukan urusan orang lain 😀

Beberapa bulan lalu, saya, dua orang adik saya dan juga si Monyed melakukan sebuah perjalanan pulang kampung ke Solo melalui jalur darat. Yap, empat orang cewek, dalam satu mobil dengan perjalanan 12 jam melalui jalur Pantura. Memang melelahkan, tapi pengalaman dan kesenangan yang kami dapatkan di jalan tidak bisa ditukar dengan hal-hal lain di muka bumi ini.

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Missing My Updates?

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Ya kan? Ya kan?

Baiklah, mumpung saya lagi kepingin untuk mengupdate, sebaiknya kalian siap-siap karena ini akan menjadi satu entry yang panjang dan lama. Sedikit menyedihkan dan menyakitkan bagi saya yang menulisnya, tapi saya harap akan worth the time 😀

Pertama-tama saya harus mengucapkan “fuck google”!

Salah satu google account saya dihapus oleh google entah apa sebabnya. Yang pasti sekarang account tersebut, yang sengaja saya buat untuk segala macam pekerjaan sekarang hilang ditelan bumi. Dan, oh! Itu juga termasuk semua blog yang saya punya. So, kalau kalian tiba-tiba kangen sama MWWYT dan mau nengok ke sana, kalian ga kaan bisa lagi melihatnya.

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Peraturan Dibuat Untuk…

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DILANGGAR!!

Seandainya dulu kalian menjalani kehidupan SMA circa 1990-2000 an, pasti sering mendengar itu. Belum lagi kalau ada yang ngomong, “Nyontek itu nggak apa-apa yang penting jangan ketauan”. Ditambah lagi kalau ada yang bilang, “Yang penting naik kelas”.

Meskipun saya bukan salah satu pelaku (bukan nyombong yah, tapi catatan akademis saya bersih dari contek mencontek), saya masih bisa ikut tertawa dengan teman-teman saya yang mengatakan hal tersebut. Tapi entah kenapa saya sekarang tidak bisa tertawa lagi mendengar hal semacam itu, karena buat saya itu sekarang terdengar mengenaskan. Bagaimana tidak mengenaskan?

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Panggil Saya Bitchbyq…

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**WARNING: POSTINGAN INI PANJANG BANGET, HARAP SEDIAKAN POPCORN DAN AIR MINUM UNTUK JAGA-JAGA**

Sepertinya sudah berabad-abad sejak terakhir saya ngetik blog dengan menggunakan enam jari (saya memang nggak bisa ngetik dengan 10 jari, sedangkan gaya mengetik 11 jari sudah basi). Akhirnya saya bisa mengistirahatkan jempol saya barang sejenak, karena saya sudah berhasil mendapatkan koneksi internet saya kembali.

Apakah saya ganti provider? Tentu tidak! Bwek… saya masih mau yang murah ini, apalagi saya sudah berhasil meluapkan emosi saya di counter layanan pelanggan di salah satu mall di dekat tempat di mana saya tinggal. Jadi tidak ada masalah. Lalu kenapa saya harus disebut bitchbyq? *maniacal laughter misterius*

Yap… saya bener-bener berlaku menyebalkan tadi. Bukan tanpa alasan tentunya, tapi karena saya baru menyadari bahwa saya ini salah sepenuhnya. Mungkin CS yang terima telepon pengaduan itu memang ngomong seperti kaset rusak, tapi mereka nggak ada apa-apanya dibanding sama customer service yang saya temui hari ini. Buat saya, CS di telepon kemarin terdengar seperti bawang putih, dan yang tadi saya temui adalah si bawang merah. Dan saya ga doyan bawang.

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Spam dan Broadcast

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Yang pakai HP blackberry pasti tahu yang namanya broadcast message di BlackBerry Messenger. Atau setidaknya yang tidak menggunakan BlackBerry pernah mendengar tentang broadcast message itu. Beberapa bulan belakangan ini, nggak cuma sekali dua kali gwe denger dan liat keluhan yang sama dari beberapa pengguna BlackBerry terkait dengan blackberry broadcast abuse. Sialnya, bukan cuma gwe denger orang-orang ngetwit sambil marah-marah, tapi juga harus mengalami sendiri.

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